Friday, September 17, 2010

FOR THE KNITTERS

If you don’t knit, the following will mean about as much to you as it did to me.  So you may skip down to the humor below.

I was reading a detective story, and ran across a passage where the detective is describing the witness to her boss.  I’m curious to know if, in knitting terms, the following makes any sense:

The boss:  “You said she seemed nervous rather than upset.”
Detective:  “She dropped one stitch, then another one after she realized who I was, and finally she turned a cable the wrong way round before telling us to leave.  She’ll have to pull it all out to return to her normal standard of workmanship.”


Anyone to tell me what that’s about?

BTW, it’s a smashing good story entitled A Letter of Mary by Laurie R. King, and is the third in the Beekeeper series.

Humor -

A CAT’S PRAYER
Now hear this!  You may live in this dwelling with me, but keep in mind your sole purpose for existing is to care for me.  I pray God keeps you able to do so.

Feed me well and promptly, so that I may then find a quiet place to lie down and stare at you.  If that place happens to be the top of the television set, do not keep trying to dislodge me even though my tail is hanging in the middle of the picture.

I expect full run of the premises, including the kitchen table.  I sniff your food only to see if I would prefer it to mine. Brush me twice a week.  Pet me as often as you wish, but I can do without those idiotic statements you utter as you do so.

When I bump my against your leg or cheek, its means I accept you as part of my environment.  Keep in mind that if I thought the lady next door would feed me better, I’d be out of here in a minute.  If you’re looking for loyalty, get a dog.

2 comments:

  1. At the moment I'm pausing in my struggle to correct a line of messed up stitches SO THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!!! (Yes, I'm upset.)

    Going back to add a lifeline (there's another knitting item you don't want to know about.) When knitting goes well, it's relaxing, when it's not you wonder why you have a hobby that makes you so upset.

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  2. Dropping a stitch means it missed being knit with the rest of the row, and unravels down, sometimes all the way to the first row.. like a run in a pair of stockings.
    Cables are made by knitting stitches in a row out of sequence, giving the impression the stitches travel over the stitches next to them, going to the left, or to the right. It sounds like she knit them so they appeared to travel in the wrong direction for the pattern she was creating on the fabric.

    That is one of my favorite series of books, I think I might read them through again this winter, thanks Don!

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