Tuesday, April 30, 2013


 If you enjoyed the first series, you will certainly enjoy these.

Ma said to follow him.

 Cliff and I decided that this is a baby panda.

 Wow! Fresh out of the shell.

 Looks like a handy place to rest.

 Yeah, these are all mine.

 I'm afraid the odor got to him!

 Deluxe transportation

 Humor – –

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to my  doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in a Care Home?"

"Well,"  he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the  bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I  said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal  person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Monday, April 29, 2013


We have a local weekly paper here in town. Each week people on the street are interviewed and asked their opinion on some subject. Here is the question from the latest issue:

Since the Boston Marathon bombings, are you worried about going public events?

And here are the responses from five different citizens:

“No, I will still go to events because by not going it makes such acts tolerable and more efficient.”

“The probability of these bombings are pretty low. I used to live in Israel where stuff like this happened all the time. In my opinion, it’s more dangerous to drive a car these days!”

“No one can predict event acts of terrorism. The terrorists’ actions are supposed to make us do things out of the ordinary. If I let them prevent me from carrying out things I’d like to do, that means they win.”

“I refuse to live afraid. You can be prepared, but it shouldn’t stop you from living life.”

“It’s a very small risk that we take. I also think it’s important to push that to the back of your mind and still enjoy going to events.”

* *
Those responses are the first time in my memory that all the persons asked were in complete agreement. And I, too, agree with them.

So saying, all this terrorism does not prevent me from adding our usual humor.


If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section....buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you....buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it....buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and whenever you want...buy a dog.

If you want someone to scare away burglars, without a lethal weapon which terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family and all the neighbors....buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't give a damn about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies...buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm you feet, and whom you can push off if he snores....buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, with boobs or without, who acts as if every word you say is especially worth listening to, and loves you  unconditionally, perpetually...buy a dog.

But on the other hand if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night, only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness,

Then my friend....
Buy a cat!

Saturday, April 27, 2013


Well, I think they're funny!  But first, here is part one of today's humor.  What do you think of this handsome pair?  Another view below.

Now, on to other animals --

Gee, kinda small pond.

Now which is the funny animal?  The kid or the dog?

We take a walk every day.

Okay, I'll take that.  I was hoping for filet mignon.

Hey! You come down your way; I come down mine.

'X' marks the spot.

You think maybe this was Photoshopped?

And for today's humorous cartoon, part 2 --

Friday, April 26, 2013


Here are a few more photos of U.S. cities from about a hundred years ago --

Ninth Street, Washington DC, 1915.

Main Street, Richmond, Virginia

Corner of Fifth Avenue and 42nd Street, New York, 1910.

Broad Street north of Spruce Street, Philadelphia, 1905.

Wabash Avenue, Chicago, 1907.

Dexter Avenue and the Capitol, Montgomery, Alabama, in 1906.

Washington, DC, 1913.

Boston, MA, 1906.

Market Street, San Francisco -- recent

Humor -


Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

An optimist thinks this is the best possible world.
A pessimist fears this is true.

There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.  (Is something wrong with that?)

Thursday, April 25, 2013


A selection of photos of the largest U.S. cities, made about 100 years ago.  For the most part.

Woodward Avenue, Detroit, Michigan, in 1917.

Atlantic City, 1910.

The main street of Memphis, north of Avenue Gayoso, 1910.

Forsyth Street, Jacksonville, Florida, in 1910.

Grant Avenue after the 1906 earthquake in San Francisco.

Grant Avenue, many years later

Washington, DC, 1914.

Cadillac Square, Detroit, Michigan, 1916.

Humor --

Think about this..., No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.


Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.


"I have had so much plastic surgery, that when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware"  
Joan Rivers

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


I thought you might enjoy seeing these beautiful animals.

If you take this one...

and mate it with this one ...

assuming one is a stallion and one is a mare...

Is this what you get?

Oh, wait!  These are sheep!  I think.  Not very furry dogs.

Humor -


There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Over-load-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely.  If you should come into contact with WORK put your
jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest bar.

Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Eliminator-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should forward this warning to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013


But there may be a rainbow at the end of the day.

My electric scooter needs some repairs.  One to tire has a slow leak, and I need new batteries. So where does one go for repairs? Why, back to where one bought it, of course. So I called  that outfit, and to my surprise they told me they no longer do repairs. So where should I take it? They gave me the name of an outfit down in San Jose, some 15 – 20 miles away.

So I called, explained the problem, and made an appointment.  Cliff drove down there (it was easy to find) and about a half hour later he called me to say that they didn’t want to do the repair! What!?  So I phoned the outfit and ask to speak to the repairman. After a brief wait, I was told he was away from his desk and would call me back. He has yet to call, and I suspect he never will. And Cliff came home – with an unrepaired scooter.

Now what was I to do? I went online looking for some scooter repair place. Oh, there are a number of them around, but they don’t do repairs to my scooter.  Ack! More online searching. Found an outfit that comes to the home to do repairs, and their map appeared to indicate that they are nationwide. So I called. Explained the problem.

“Oh, we only do repairs for Medicare. Did it Medicare pay for this scooter?”

Me: “Well, not this one, but the original purchase was through Medicare. I am now on my third scooter. They won’t pay for subsequent purchases.”

Them: “Then we cannot help you.”

Me: “You mean if one scooter wears out then I am out of luck?”

Them: “One moment please.” Brief pause. “Apparently we can help. You’ll need to answer many questions.”

So I answered all of their questions, and I was told someone would get back to me within 48 hours. So I’m waiting to see what will happen. If this works, I won’t even have to pay for it. That’s the rainbow at the end of the day.

Time for fun --


When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But somehow, I always had something else to take care of first--the truck, the car, fishing--always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.  When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalk."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Monday, April 22, 2013


The following is a true story, as confirmed by Snopes:

Burma-Shave was an American brand of brush-less shaving cream, famous for its advertising gimmick of posting humorous rhyming poems on small sequential highway roadside signs.  Burma-Shave was introduced in 1925, and at its peak, it was the second-highest selling brushless shaving cream in the United States.  Then this set of signs appeared:

Free Offer! Free Offer!
Rip A Fender
Off Your Car
Mail It In For
A Half-Pound Jar

Most interpreted the jingle as humorous. Some, however, chose to see if the firm would make good on its promise. All fender-bearers were greeted politely, relieved of their automotive "coupons," and provided with the promised half-pound jar. Then in 1955 the company promised to send a contest winner to Mars as part of a promotional campaign.  It also should have been taken as a joke:

Free — Free
A Trip
To Mars
For 900
Empty Jars

Unlike the car fender fiasco, this playful spouting looked safe to the company — 900 empty Burma-Shave jars was going to prove hard to come by. Yet they had not reckoned on the determination of Arliss French, manager of a supermarket in Appleton, Wisconsin. Mr. French wired Burma-Shave he was accepting their offer — where should the jars be shipped? In response, the company wired back:

If A Trip
To Mars You Earn
Remember, Friend
There's No Return

French was not to be dissuaded. He countered with another telegram:

Let's Not Quibble
Let's Not Fret
Gather Your Forces
I'm All Set

What could Burma-Shave do but respond?

Our Rockets Are Ready
We Ain't Splitting Hairs
Just Send Us The Jars
And Arrange Your Affairs

However, Burma-Shave was concerned. They sent general manager Ralph Getchman to Appleton to determine just how serious this French fellow was. Getchman's report was not what the home office had been hoping for. Arliss French's store was festooned with reproductions of the Burma-Shave signs. Full-page ads run in the local paper entreated: "Send Frenchy to Mars!" Within the store was a huge pile of empty jars, and it was growing day by day. Also in the store was a mock rocket ship for the kids to swarm over. And from the roof of the establishment, little green men fired toy rocket gliders out over the parking lot.

On the spur of the moment, the head of Burma-Shave recommended offering the determined grocer a trip to the Mars Candy Company in Chicago for a weekend on the town. That spontaneous utterance  planted the suggestion of a solution that was to provide everyone with enough wiggle room to look like the offer had been honored.

When French presented himself at Burma-Shave's head office, he was dressed for his  trip — he arrived sporting a bubble on his head and clad in a silvery space suit with a big red owl on the front. His 900 jars arrived in a Brink's armored truck emblazoned with a "Send Frenchy To Mars!" sign. Burma-Shave was ready — they
presented tickets for French, his wife, and twelve children to travel to Moers, a little town in Germany that mercifully pronounced its name "mars." The Frenches were handed jars of Burma-Shave and given the advice they be used to barter with the natives for goods and services.

The photos were many and the news coverage extensive. The Frenches enjoyed their German vacation, and Burma-Shave once again netted more by way of publicity than it lost in meeting its obligation.

So in case you never saw these signs, here are a couple more--

Saturday, April 20, 2013


I just knew that you liked that first group of photos of painted Bavarian buildings, so here are some more --

Bit o' fun -


Always keep several get well cards displayed so if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you've been sick and unable to clean. You can also keep a vacuum cleaner in sight so drop-in visitors will think you are getting ready to clean house.

* * *
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.