Monday, January 31, 2011

A FEW ITEMS

Sunday -- feeling a bit better.  And my legs are getting somewhat stronger.  For a while there Cliff had to pick me up to a standing position, and then lift me into my wheelchair.  Now, most of the time, I’m able to stand on my own, and with me gripping Cliff’s arm, position myself to sit in said wheelchair.  The next step, literally, will be when I’m able to walk with my walker.  Looking forward to the day.
***

One of the things I really like about my family doctor is that I can reach him by email.  Over this weekend I have asked him several questions that he has answered almost immediately.  He notes that his response comes from his iPhone, which I think is neat.
***

I think Pepper is going into egg-laying mode, though not completely yet.  Last evening she got on my finger and let me put her in her cage.  Chipper pays no attention whatever to any of this.

***

I've got some animal photos to post one of these days -- 4-legged ones, birds, and sea life.  Coming up.
***

Cartoon -

The teacher graded it and the child brought it home. 

She returned to school the next day with the following note: 

Dear Ms. Davis, 

I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration. 
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male customers with money. 
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. 
This drawing is of me selling a shovel. 

Sincerely, 

Mrs. Harrington

Saturday, January 29, 2011

TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER

This beautiful explanation behind Arlington's Tomb of the Unknown and its Changing of the Guards ceremony should be more widely known than it is. 

(Some of this bothered me, so I went to snopes.com to check the veracity.  I was unable to copy and paste the correct information.  Most of it is true, including the item about the hurricane.  Other items are incomplete, or just not factual.  If you are at all curious, check it out at snopes.)

 


Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

1. How many steps does the guard take during his
   walk across the tomb of the Unknowns, and why?

   21 steps: It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute which
   Is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.

2. How long does he hesitate after his About Face to begin his return walk and why?

  21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1.

3. Why are his gloves wet?
   His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and, if not, why not?

He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the
path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.

5.  How often are the guards changed?
    Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?
For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10' and 6' 2' tall and his
waist size cannot exceed 30 inches.

They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform or the tomb in any way.   (Snopes says that the off-duty hours are the soldier’s own).

   After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they
   served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey
   these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

   The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet.
   There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud
   click as they come to a halt.

   There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of
    a full-length mirror.

The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone nor watch TV.  All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery.  A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are:

   President Taft, Joe Lewis {the boxer) and Medal of Honor winner Audie L. Murphy.

   Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.

 In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC , our U.S. Senate and House took 2 days off in anticipation of the storm. On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, "No way, Sir!" Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a service person. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.



Punny, if not funny -

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Friday, January 28, 2011

TOO MUCH

... or Bad Day, Part 2.

My family doctor had changed my pain medication, one pill every 12 hours.  One wasn’t doing it for me, so rather foolishly, at 3:30 Thursday morning I took 2.  When I got up in the morning, I felt a little woozy, but nothing horrible.  Got up, had breakfast.  Then went to lie back down in bed.  Cliff came to get me up a while later, and when I tried, I fell over, hitting my jaw on the night stand.  Cliff took me into emergency, where they stitched me up -- 6 stitches -- and suggested I take only one of the morphine tablets at a time.  Which I have been doing, but I'm still feeling a bit fuzzy headed.  Not as bad as yesterday, but Cliff has been picking me up.
Seems that the pain medication lowers my blood pressure - quite a bit.  My jaw doesn't hurt, but it's a bit swollen.  I get the stitches out in 5-7 days.

So I’ve been holding to one pain pill.  I’m still a bit muzzy-headed, but not as bad as yesterday.


(I wrote the above about two hours ago.  Since then I've watched a Netflix movie - The Railway Children - which I thoroughly enjoyed, and I'm feeling better.)

Oh, let’s get to something a bit more upbeat --

Presumably these are actual comments made by Police Officers taken off police car videos around the country:

 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."

Thursday, January 27, 2011

BAD DAY

I had a bad day today.  Details tomorrow.  I hope.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

SNOW KIDDING!

Did you know that it snows in Russia?



Short pole








Truckin' right along














Sno cone?



I told you to close the doors!



What a marvelous way to keep cool on a hot summer day!


Well, as long as it's here, might as well have some fun!



Presumably these are actual comments made by Police Officers taken off police car videos around the country:

 "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."  (National Crime Information Center)

 "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

MORE ON HEALTH

Today I saw my family doctor -- er, primary care physician -- about my various ailments, and he had some very cogent advice for me.  Changed my pain medication.  Which I will attempt to follow.  Should have me sleeping less in the daytime.

My thanks to all of you for your words of kindness.  I truly appreciate that.

Now I think I can add a bit of humor for the day --

These are presumably actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded.

 The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming..

 If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

 It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

 The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

Monday, January 24, 2011

SORRY

Sorry to have left that last posting up for so long.  I am not feeling well, and sleeping  a lot.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

PROTECTING WILDLIFE

World WildlLife Fund is celebrating its 50th anniversary, and these photos are from their latest newsletter. 
They work all over the world.  For example, a group of scientists visiting Africa discovered the declining condition of species like rhinos, elephants and gorillas.  They help communities live with wildlife, stop illegal deforestation and illegal poaching.












The Amazon of South America has been an area of amazing discovery.  Between 1999 and 2009 more than 1200 new species of plants and vertebrates were discovered in the area.











In the Galapagos Islands, which is a major tourist attraction, WWF cooperates with 100% waste collection.





It is still amazing that scientists are discovering more species in the heart of Borneo.





WWF was part of a historic tiger summit in St. Petersburg, Russia, hosted by Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.  There world leaders committed to a plan to double the number of tigers in the wild by 2022.





Over the years WWF has fought for and won a stamp for wildlife, a drilling moratorium in the Arctic, and the Clean Air Act.












Humor--

This is the story of the young lady who phones her boy friend.

“Hi, I’m having trouble with a jig saw puzzle.  Would you please help me?”

“Sure, what’s it supposed to be?”

“Well, there’s a big red rooster on the box.”

“Okay, I’ll be right over.”

The boy friend arrives, and looks at all the pieces spread out all over the table.  “Tell you what,” he says.  “Let’s just relax, have a nice hot cup of coffee, and then we’ll put all these cornflakes back in the box.”

Friday, January 21, 2011

SOMETHING NEW - DARN IT!

I’d mentioned yesterday that I probably had cracked ribs from my fall a week ago.  So I was wondering why instead of getting better, I was hurting more.  So... back to the emergency room.  More x-rays.  Result?  Another break -- that’s the word the doctor used, break.  No wonder I feel lousy.  The doctor prescribed a different pain medication, which I will be taking.  Sure makes me sleepy.  He also gave me a gadget to improve my breathing.  That’s all I have for now.

A bit of humor--

I was on a date with this really hot model.  Well, it wasn’t really a date date.  We just had dinner and saw a movie.  Then the plane landed.
Dave Attell

***
I asked my date what she wanted to drink.  She said, “I guess I’ll have champagne.”  I said, “Guess again.”
Slappy White

Thursday, January 20, 2011

UPDATE

I just got back from the VA where the doctor doctored my prescriptions -- a little.  Eliminating a couple of things.  In the OUCH department, I'm not doing too well.  After I fell last week, Cliff took me to emergency to get me checked out.  The X-rays didn't show anything broken, but the doctor there said that cracks often don't show up in x-ray.  So it's likely that I have a couple of cracked ribs.  I am NOT happy with this, as you might imagine.  I'll try to keep you up to date.

Fun -

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 


 
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 


I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 


 
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 


Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

IN THE BEGINNING...

I just started another book, IWOZ, by Steve Wozniak, the inventor of the Apple I and II computers.  And that reminded me of how Amalie and I came to be computer users.

It must have been some time in the early 80’s.  Amalie was a speech therapist, and often had to type up reports about her students.  She and I had talked off and on about getting one of those “new-fangled gadgets”, but really didn’t see the need.  We had an IBM Selectric typewriter that served us quite well, for we were both good typists.

Then one day she came home with several multi-page reports to type.  She threw paper into the typewriter, banged out her reports, and then gave them to me to proof read.  I’m a good proofreader.  I’d mark the pages to move this paragraph here, change that wording to this, and correct the spelling there -- like that.  Then she would retype the whole thing all over again.

When she had the same kind of project the following week, I said “Now I know why we could use a computer.  It’s so easy to make these changes without having to redo the entire thing.  The only reason I knew that was because the outfit I worked for at the time had just installed computers.

That turned out to be timely because her school district was just then installing Apple computers, and the choice of brand was obvious.  We were mainly interested in Word Processing, but I quickly found some of the other things this gadget could do -- like graphics.  There were no color printers at the time, but we didn’t care.  That first Apple had all of 40 megabytes of RAM, which I thought was tremendous, but that machine filled up so fast, it made my head swim.  We upgraded a few times until finally in the early 90’s we bought our first Mac.

By then I was handicapped and could not use my left hand.  So I had told the Mac salesman that I needed a program that would switch the keyboard for right-handed typing.  By George, he found such a program that puts the most used keys under my right hand!  To give you an idea, on the standard keyboard, the keys on the second row from the top are
    qwerty

On my keyboard, the same keys are
    56q.or

It really got to be funny.  I’d sit down to the computer to type something after Amalie had finished typing (I can switch back and forth between the two systems), and if I were to type, for instance
    Hello, there, Charlie

it would come out
    Hg66t jhgygv Lhfy6bg

I’d forgotten to make the switch,
or as that previous line might look on the qwerty board
B/k 8ty.tjjgn jt 7f;g jhg umbjlh.

Well, you get the idea.  Time for other fun.

These are presumably actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded.


Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

 The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

 This child has been working with glue too much.

When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
  

Monday, January 17, 2011

DEAR GOD

My thanks to Brenda for these.



  Dear God:  Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?



Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?




Dear God:  When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?




Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?




Dear God:  If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?




Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?




Dear God:  Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?






. Dear God:  Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog:

  I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

 . I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

  The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

  The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

 The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

 I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table

  I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

  I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

 The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.





I don't have any questions.  Just wanted to say Hello!



Bit of fun --
Adult truths -

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 
 

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 


I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 
 


I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

FEATHERS

One of my followers -- Hi, there Alison -- likes photos of my birds.  Well, anything to please the clientele.

This is Chipper.  When we first got him, we thought he was a parakeet.  Amalie and I had had parakeets in the past, and Am just loved the coloring.  I thought the feathering was different, but I didn’t say anything.  After all, this was to be her bird.  Unfortunately, Chipper turned out to be very UNfriendly.  We tried to finger train him, as we had many other parakeets, but he would have none of it.  Finally I suggested we just leave him alone.  Actually, he is very little trouble, keeping to himself most of the time.  Then the vet told us that he isn’t a parakeet, but a Bourke’s parrot.  They come from central Australia, and yes, they are that color.

These photos are unusual because they were taken in the den.  Chipper never goes in the den -- well, hardly ever.  What I suspect happened is that the cleaning lady turned on the vacuum cleaner and startled the bird, who then flew down the hall and into the den.  Then the problem was that Chipper didn’t know how to get back to his own cage, so while he was wandering around under my chair, I grabbed the camera and took these pics.  Then I asked Cliff to put his cage in the den.  Cliff did, Chipper climbed in, and Cliff carried the cage back to its proper place.













This is Pepper, a cockatiel who when first acquired, we thought was a male.  The breeder thought was a male.  But some seven years later, when Pep laid an egg, we had to revise our thinking.  Pepper is the resident clown and will get into anything she can.  That means we try to keep anything chewable away from her.  There is also the matter of cleaning up after her, so much so that Amalie started calling her Miss Poopsalot.  I keep her clipped, so she is unable to fly, but she is a great climber.  There are ladders for her to get up and down from the counter where the cages are, and she loves to climb up on my walker, as in this first pic.  She also likes to sit on my leg where she usually insists on having her head rubbed.  That’s where she was when I was snapping pictures of Chipper, so I snapped a few of her.  My, my, she does photograph well, doesn’t she!








Whatcha lookin' at?




***
OUCH! update --
I was concerned that I'd done more than bruise myself when I fell, so I had Cliff take me to the Emergency Room to get checked out.  They took x-rays, drew blood, and I gave them a urine sample.  After only 5-1/2 hours I was told that it was only (only?) a bruise, and they sent me home.  Nonetheless I'm sore.  This too will come to an end.
***

And after all that you want some humor, too?  Hokay.

Adult Truths --

Was learning cursive really necessary? 


Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 
 


Bad decisions make good stories.

***

See you on Monday.

Friday, January 14, 2011

OUCH!

Yesterday I was getting ready to go see my doctor when I lost my balance (should be around here somewhere), fell, and hurt my back.   I didn’t go to Avenidas today, and I’m taking it easy, as in practically nothing.  I hope I feel better tomorrow because Cliff and I are scheduled to visit our friends in Salinas, about an hour and a half away.  In the mean time, I’m wrapped up in an elastic bandage to keep me moving.  Not exactly a lot of fun.

But for a bit of fun, try this:

Everyone says that looks don’t matter, that money doesn’t matter, that age doesn’t matter.  But I never met a girl yet  who has fallen in love with an ugly old man who is broke.
Rodney Dangerfield

***
A little white duck adopted a family of swans.  It swam with them, ate with them, and even adopted their mannerisms.  The locals came up with a nickname for the little duck:  Swanabee.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

GIST IN CASE

I have enough ‘gists’ to start a clinic -- cardiologist, neurologist, pulmonologist, urologist, hematologist, dermatologist, opthmalogist, plus a chiropractor, Veteran’s Administration doctor (I don’t know her speciality), a dentist, and of course my primary care physician, who used to be called “The family physician”.  He’s not a ‘gist’, but an ‘ist’ -- an internist.  So if you’re not having luck reaching me, I’m likely visiting an M.D., D.C., or a D.D.S.

Today I’m double dipping -- the dentist and primary care physician.  Oh, fun!  I’m gist getting my teeth cleaned at the dentist’s, but I have several issues to discuss with my doctor.  Then he will likely tell me to which gist I should go.  Sorta reminds me of the story about the nose doctor who could not treat a patient with a left nostril problem.  His specialty was right nostrils.

It amazes me that these medical professionals keep in touch with one another (except the VA doctor).  I saw the hematologist last week, and this week the neurologist was reading me the hematologist’s letter.  Then he suggested I see my Primary Care to see where to go from there.  Hence today’s appointment.  At least it gets me out of the house.

Enough!  Enough!  Time for humor --

Presumably these are actual comments made by Police Officers taken off police car videos around the country:

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
***

 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
***

 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

YOUNG AND OLD

The Monterey Bay Aquarium proudly presents the first penguin born at the facility.  Note the soft gloves used to hold the baby.





How Long Have You Owned a Car?

Mr. Allen Swift (Springfield , MA.) received this 1928 Rolls-Royce Picadilly P1 Roadster  from his father, brand new - as a graduation gift in 1928.  He drove it up until his death last year.....at the age of 102 !  He was the oldest living owner of a car from new.  Just thought you'd like to see it.  He donated it to a Springfield museum after his death.  It has 170,000 miles on it, still runs like a Swiss watch,
dead silent at any speed and is in perfect cosmetic condition. (82 years).  That's approximately 2000 miles per year.

Humor -

“What rank are you?” asked a visitor to an army base.  “I’m relieved to say that I’ve just been promoted from captain to major.”  
“Relieved?  “Why?”
“Because my last name is Hook.”

***
The Tennessee Department of Revenue briefly closed a restaurant in the village of Townsend for non-payment of taxes.  The name of the eatery?  Deadbeat Pete’s.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

PLAY IT, SAM







Generally after lunch at Avenidas there is some form of entertainment, and a while ago one of the aides conducted a session called Remember When.  A fun time.  Then this past Friday morning before leaving for Avenidas, an idea struck me.  I emailed Laura, and asked, “What do you think of the idea of having a Name that Tune in a Remember When session?”  When I arrived, Laura saw me and said she thought it was a great idea.

She had me get together with Audrey, one of the aides, and she and I collaborated on the idea.  It was to work like this:

I was to bring my Bose player and remote.  After explaining to the group what was up, she would insert a CD into the player, let the first tune play for a bit, and while I held the remote, when someone had an answer, she would signal me to turn it off.  Then she would ask for the next track, and I would play the next tune.  And so it would go.

Over the weekend I made three CD’s -- a real mix of styles and artists, for a total of 63 songs, which amounted to about 3-1/2 hours of music.  I did that deliberately because I knew that the songs would not be played all the way through.  And these were all instrumentals from iTunes on my computer.

So at 1 p.m. last Monday, we were ready to go.  But first Audrey and I had a bit of a joke to play on the group.  I was sitting in my wheelchair in the first row in front of the Bose, holding the remote in my lap.  Audrey said she was using a new technology where all she had to do was wave her hand to start the music.  She waved, and I pressed the PLAY button.  She waved again, and I pressed PAUSE.  Someone in the group asked the music would start if she waved.  “Sure,” said Audrey.  A wave -- music.  Another wave -- no music.  I think they were impressed.  (Later on I held up the remote to show that it was not all that mysterious.)

All in all it went quite well.  We went through two full CD’s, plus about 8 or 9 more on the last one.  And the group was quite good at coming up with the song titles.  I think that out of all of the melodies played, only 2 or 3 were missed.  Some songs were named after only 3 or 4 notes into the melody.  And where there was a bit of difficulty, Audrey did a great job of pantomime to help the memories.  We had a lot of fun! 


Oh!  You’re wondering about the title of this blog.  Of course!  As Time Goes By was a prominent song in the movie Casablanca, with Humphrey Bogart.  “Play it, Sam,” it what Bogart said to his pianist.  He did not say “Play it again, Sam.”  You don’t believe me?  Go back and watch the movie.



Humor --

60-PLUS

Q: My wife is going through menopause. What can I do?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus-year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.

Monday, January 10, 2011

BINGO!

Each day at Avenidas at the one o’clock hour there is some form of entertainment.  The other day we played Bingo.  I must confess that I don’t care for Bingo -- I find that it moves to slowly for me.  Nonetheless, that was the activity for that hour.  Now I have a problem.  After lunch I get sleepy, so there I was, not particularly interested, and my eyes kept drooping.  In addition I had a card that had never heard of the Law of Averages.

Consider this:  There are 75 numbers on the caller’s board.  A bingo card has space for 25 numbers.  75 divided by 25 equals 3 (I learned that in school.)  So theoretically, on average, one should get a ‘hit’ once every three numbers called.  Unfortunately my card never went to school.  I was getting an occasional hit.

Occasional (definition):  That’s like your Aunt Susie who calls you occasionally -- once or twice every two or three years.  My card was an offspring of Aunt Susie.

Near the end of the hour the caller announced, “The next game will be Blackout.”  Well, for any of you out there who don’t know this, Blackout means that one has to cover the entire board.  I had a cinch space -- the Free in the center.  Beyond that I feared that my card was afraid of the dark!

So there I was, half asleep, opening one eye to glance at my card when a number was called, and watching my card get v e r y  s l o w l y  a bit splotchy, somewhat when my glasses start to get dirty.  And then, surprisingly, my card started to fill.  When I had about 8 uncovered numbers, I had the feeling that someone should be calling bingo!  But not yet.  And little by little my card started to fill.  One more number!  It was called, and about 3 people shouted ‘Bingo!’, including me.  Look at the beautiful scarf I won!




Fun -

Q: Why should 60-plus-year-old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus-year-olds to have problems with short-term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus-year-olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “I remember these!”

Saturday, January 8, 2011

BEAUTIFUL SWITZERLAND, Part 2

No commentary on my part needed.  Just enjoy!









































Humor --

ADULT TRUTHS
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 


Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 


 
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 



There is great need for a sarcasm font. 
 


How on earth are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?