Saturday, July 31, 2010

CHALK CHUCKLES

Look here! The chalk guy is back.


Hold on! Here come the rapids!



Watch out for the rotors!




Whee!



Open wide ... while I shovel it in.



And he doesn't even get his feet wet.




Looks like he's standing in mid-air.



Anybody play the harp?


I think the kid is real, but I wouldn't bet on it.


Humor --

When an officer pulled over an elderly Utah motorist for speeding, he found something he’d never seen before. According to the Associated Press, when the cop asked why there was a vacuum cleaner whirring away on the dashboard, the driver said it was the grandchildren’s idea. “They told me if I put a Dustbustbuster in my car, I wouldn’t get a ticket.”

Next post on Monday morning.

Friday, July 30, 2010

UNSETTLED WEATHER

I’m feeling under the weather today, so I’ll give you some humor, and go lie down.

Haiku error messages --

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

Server's poor response
not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

and then ...

When people always try to take
The very smallest piece of cake
How can it also be
That that’s the one that’s left for me?

and finally ...

From the local Mountain View weekly paper:
Physicist Norm Goldblatt is also a stand-up comic. He says that his wife followed him from the east coast to California in order to go to Stanford ... ... ... ... Shopping Center. She came home one day to exclaim that this shopping center was amazing! It had a hospital and university attached to it.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

LENSES FOR GLASSES UPDATE

The optician called me yesterday afternoon to explain why my new lens had not yet arrived. It seems that when she sent the cracked one back for replacement, some bozo (her word) cancelled the entire order. She tells me the new lens should be in by next Monday. Prayers for prompt delivery are greatly appreciated.

A few more signs--





Wednesday, July 28, 2010

BITS AND PIECES

"They're not in yet." That's the answer I've been getting when I inquire about the replacement lens for my new glasses. It was nearly two weeks ago when I went to pick up my new prescription, and the optician found that one of the new lenses had a big crack in it, and would have to be replaced. The first time it took about a week for the lenses to come in. This is getting a little old.

It was just a couple of days ago when I blogged about the trouble with the batteries on my electric scooter. Cliff took it back to the shop to find out what was going on. The good news is that the new batteries are fine. The bad news is that the motor is wearing out, and needs replacing. (That reminds me of the joke about the fellow who goes to the dentist. After an examination, the dentist tells him, "Good news! You don't have any cavities. However, your gums have to go." At any rate, I'm waiting for a quote for a replacement motor.

Funny signs -



Tuesday, July 27, 2010

MORE BEAUTIFUL SCENERY

I keep getting these gorgeous scenes, so the least I can do is share them with you. These came from my niece. Thank you, Brenda.































Humor -

The wife was sprawled on the living room couch watching her favorite show on the Food Network when her husband walked in. “Why do you watch those food shows? You don’t even cook.” Her response, “ Then why do you watch football?”

***
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a flat tire.

Monday, July 26, 2010

THREE TIMES FOUR EQUALS TWELVE

Usually. Practically all the time. However, here is an apparent exception. My electric scooter runs on batteries, and there is an indicator on it with four lights that tell me how much power remains in said batteries. Four lights on, full power. No lights on, no power. There’s the ‘four’ part of the equation.

Each light on is supposed to give me three miles of travel. Aha! The three part. And 3 x 4 = 12 miles I should be able to travel without screaming for help because I’m outta power!

A week ago I noticed the lights going out more quickly than they should, and Cliff took it into the shop for new batteries. Then this past Saturday I scootered over to a nearby pharmacy, a distance of a mile and a half. That’s 3 miles round trip. As I scootered along toward the pharmacy, I watched with horror as one light shut down after less than a mile. I vowed that if the second one went out, I’d turn around and go home, but that didn’t happen until I’d been to the store, and headed back. Then the third one went out before I reached the front of the park. That’s 3 lights out -- a theoretical nine miles. I did make it home safely, but today I will be phoning the scooter shop to see what they have to say.

More on this as developments occur.


Funny signs --




Saturday, July 24, 2010

WIPE FEET, PLEASE

Perhaps you would like to have one of these lovely doormats.



























As an obstetrician, I sometimes see unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery. One patient had some type of fish tattoo on her abdomen. "That sure is a pretty whale," I commented.

With a smile she replied, "It used to be a dolphin."

***
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

****

Next posting on Monday.

Friday, July 23, 2010

MORE FLOWERS AROUND THE PARK

The weather has been gorgeous, and as I scootered around the park, I saw that many, many
front-yard gardens were also gorgeous.

These are by no means all of the colorful plants around here; just the ones I happened to photograph.

No further comment necessary from me. Just enjoy.





































Humor --

More Haiku error messages:

Three things are certain:
death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

A file that big?
It might be very useful,
but now it is gone.

The code was willing.
It considered your request,
but the chips were weak.