Friday, July 31, 2009


Time to bring you up to date. Things are looking up. Although I’m still unable to stand up by myself -- Cliff is forever “giving me a lift” -- the broken bones in my left foot are healing nicely. The swelling is going down, and it is no longer painful.

Although I’m still feeling some pain in the right hip/thigh area, it is more of a dull ache that at times I don’t even feel. I’ve been able to cut my pain medication in half.

My chiropractor gave me a couple of exercises to strengthen my right leg, and I’ve been doing some daily. He remarked on the improvement when I saw him the other day. Oh, now I’ve been able to cut back my chiropractor visits from what started as daily, then went to every other day, to twice a week, and now down to once a week.

Speaking of exercise, it is absolutely true that I don’t mind exercise. I can watch other people do it all day.

Let’s have some fun:


Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her the word ‘comfortable’." The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?" The brunette explains, "My sister has trouble with big words. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bul."

Thursday, July 30, 2009


I knew there were more beautiful roses here in the park. It was just a matter of going down different streets. No additional comment needed by me. Enjoy!

Now, we add a bit of humor, and it might help make your day --


Remember these? For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930's and '40's. Before there were interstates, when everyone drove the old two-lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted in farmers' fields all over the countryside. They were small red signs with white letters ….five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing one line of a four line couplet......with the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream.

Trains don't wander all over the map
'cause nobody sits in the engineer's lap
Burma Shave

She kissed the hairbrush by mistake
She thought it was her husband Jake
Burma Shave

Don't lose your head to gain a minute
You need your head your brains are in it
Burma Shave

Drove too long
Driver snoozing
What happened next is not amusing
Burma Shave

Brother speeder let's rehearse
All together
Good morning, nurse
Burma Shave

Cautious rider to her reckless dear
Let's have less bull and more steer
Burma Shave

Speed was high, weather was not
Tires were thin, x marks the spot
Burma Shave

The midnight ride of paul for beer
Led to a warmer hemisphere
Burma Shave

I'll have a few more of these another day soon.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Across the street and down one block from our mobile home park is Sylvan Park. It’s a great place to have a picnic on a warm, sunny day, keep the little ones out of trouble for an afternoon, have a barbecue (there are barbecue pits), play tennis, or just play around on the big, open, green expanse. There was not a great deal going on the day I took these photos, but they will give you a notion.

Most all the paths are curvy.

A family enjoying the sun. Dad had a toy rocket that he would load on a spring loaded base, and the youngster would send it flying midst squeals of delight.

She wasn't really swinging -- just twisting around and around.

But they were!

There's a soccer ball near the kid on the right which he is about to kick. His brother waits.

So dad kicked the ball, and the little one is chasing it.

No one on the slide set, but ...

two youngsters were under it playing in the sand.


Laws of the Natural Universe

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lanes (traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). (The rhyme that goes with it: It happens to me every time;
Every lane moves but the where I’m.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Let’s just have a bit of fun today -- all humor this time.

His wife's grave side service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.
* * *
A man goes to a shrink and says, 'Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?' 
'Relax,' says the Doctor, 'take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?'

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed. 'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.' With that, the girl yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank you!
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -
Will Rogers
* **
Aspire to inspire before you expire.

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, 'I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too.'.


A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.

Monday, July 27, 2009


It's amazing what one finds when searching for something else. I had completely forgotten about these cartoonish drawings. As I'd mentioned previously, after my army basic training in the summer of 1951, I was assigned as a company clerk to a shipping company at Fort Lawton, Washington, in Seattle. I have no idea who drew these cartoons, but I suspect it was some soldier awaiting shipment overseas.

These had to have been done fairly on because the First Sergeant depicted is Sergeant Hopkins, who finished his tour of duty just a few months after I arrived. And what I have are not the originals, which I borrowed, took to the PX photographer, and he made the copies.

I don't even remember the Company Commander's name. I didn't see much of him. He would greet me first thing in the morning, and then disappear into his office. I guess he signed my 3-day passes and leave times.

Sergeant Hopkins wasn't really nasty, nor did he carry a whip. But we have to keep up the reputation, don't we.

I'm not sure what Sgt. Utley actually did, but it seemed to involve a lot of paper work.

Enlisted men would be assigned to our company to await shipment overseas. It was Sgt. Culley's job to keep these guys busy and out of trouble. That meant KP, cleanup, and all those other chores that had to be done.

Well, the enlisted men didn't have to work all the time, and part of the Duty NCO's job was to issue one day (same day) passes.

Ha! Whaddya know! Here I am! Essentially, I was the First Sergeant's secretary.** I called the roll for incoming enlisted men, took sick call in the mornings, among other duties. When I was being trained, I was told to ask the soldier what the problem was, because it made a difference whether I sent him to a doctor or a dentist. Wrong wording. If the soldier had been out on pass the evening before, he might hem and haw, and hmmph, and cough a bit, not wanting to admit to me that he might have a venereal disease. I quickly figured out that that kind of answer meant he didn't want to see a dentist.

Somebody had to figure out who was going on what shipment, and that was Sgt. King's job.

The Supply Sgt's job is obvious, but not always easy. He didn't stock everything we might need, as indicated in the cartoon.

** I think I may have posted this before, but it fits here.
One day Sergeant Hopkins dictated the following for me to type up and post on the bulletin board:

CQ will not accept EM from MPs without DRs or DFs. I don't remember what a DR was, but otherwise that translated to:

Charge of Quarters (the guy on duty overnight) will not accept enlisted men from Military Police without (DRs) or Disposition Forms.

Humor time --This was emailed to me yesterday. I've seen it before, and still consider it priceless. It is purported to be true, but I found this on Snopes (following the humor):

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, the number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


* Commonly, the piece begins with a statement meant to authenticate the story. "An actual question given on University of Washington chemistry midterm," "from a Yale professor," and "Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997" have been spotted so far.

* Sometimes the student's comments culminate in the assertion that hell must be exothermic because a girl he'd been chasing had sworn it'd be a cold day in hell before she'd sleep with him, and he'd so far been unable to get to first base with her.

* Often the story concludes with "The student received the only 'A' given on the exam."

Origins: The piece quoted above likely began as a humor post to the newsgroup rec.humor in 1997. Its roots, however, are far older: an unattributed parody of a scientific proof concluding Heaven was hotter than Hell appeared in a 1972 edition of Applied Optics, a story found in a 1962 book (reprinted from a 1960 magazine) is a mathematical "proof" that heaven is hotter than hell, and article published in a 1979 edition of the Journal of Irreproducible Results written by Dr. Tim Healey (written as a response to the Applied Optics piece) carried the joke one step farther by arguing that Hell was hotter still. Though these older pieces don't directly correlate with what has now become a standardized bit of Internet lore, the themes are similar enough for us to postulate that the older versions sparked the newer ones.

Interestingly enough, the purported student's opening gambit, "We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass," stands in opposition to the position taken centuries ago by the Roman Catholic Church. The Holy See had given its official approval to a particular line of scientific thought, the vacuum, to specificially allow for immaterial forms such as weightless souls and armies of angels in what would otherwise be a filled universe. Without vacuums, places where measurable matter does not exist, both Heaven and Hell and all their denizens would have no place in the cosmic order of things. The time-honored Aristotelian assertion "Nature abhors a vacuum" had to be (and was) elbowed out of the way because the vacuum was a theological necessity.

Saturday, July 25, 2009


Here in our mobilehome park are raingutters that are about three inches deep. As a result, when there is a rainstorm, water drains out of the park most efficiently. Most all residents have installed steel gutter plates at their driveway so that their cars don’t bounce into the driveway. You can get something of a notion from this photo at my driveway.

This park is roughly rectangular, with streets going around the perimeter (green lines) as well as a couple of streets that cross from side to side, as you can see from the partial map. In addition, there is a walkway down the center (red line and photo) for pedestrians. Unfortunately, those rain gutters run from one side to the other meaning I could not ride my scooter down the center without jarring the daylights out of me. That meant I’d have to go around one side or the other on the street.

But now there are gutter plates where the center path crosses the rain gutters. Wanna know how come, after all these years, that management installed the plates? Go ahead, ask.

Glad you asked! One day when I saw the owner, I suggested the plates to him as a safety feature. “You wouldn’t want someone twisting or breaking their ankle ‘cause they stepped incorrectly, would you?’ said I, conveniently ignoring my own selfish reason of wanting to scooter down the center. Well, the owner is most insurance cost conscious, and while it still took some months to happen, the plates are now there (last photo).

I’ve yet to run over anybody walking down the path.


Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. 'Young man, we're both 90 years old, ' the husband said . 'We may not have 45 minutes.' They were seated immediately.

See you on Monday.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Health and other news

Health: I'm having my ups and downs. The prostate infection seems to be under control, but I still have a constant ache in my right hip/leg. During the day I can pretty much ignore it, but it catches me at night, so I'm still on pain killer. Yesterday my chiropractor, at my request, gave me a couple of exercises to strengthen my leg muscles. I'm hoping to be able to stand up on my own one of these days.

Yesterday Cliff drove me up to the Stanford Shopping Center where I went into the Apple store and bought me an iPod. Amazing piece of technology. This gadget measures only one inch by 1-1/2 by 3/8 inch thick including the clip! And it holds all the music I have on my computer. The sound quality is outstanding, and as Cliff pointed out to me, it has a tiny battery, that for its size, lasts quite a long time. I'm enjoying listening to my favorite music while clacking away on the computer.

Now for some humor:

This was set to me a couple of days ago, and I find it quite funny. Just for the record, I am Jewish.

* * *

This is literally a 'church signs' debate, being played out in a southern US town, between Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic Church, and Cumberland Presbyterian, a fundamentalist church. From top to bottom shows you the response and counter-response over time.

The Catholics are displaying a much better sense off humor! You get the impression that the Presbyterians are actually taking this seriously and are getting quite angry!

Thursday, July 23, 2009


I had taken more photos around the park, so here are various of my favorites, with little comment.

My next door neighbor's pretty front garden.

Couldn't resist this closeup

Stands tall near the front of the park.

Another closeup

Mix of flowers and rocks near the clubhouse.

Kinda neat!


A lot of shade

I like the closeups.

Part of a beautiful arrangement.

Silent sentinals.

This front yard is just a mass of color!

Fun time:


The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Rail:

Gentlemen, I have been riding trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan

Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Iarnrod Eireann

I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible, Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass. That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years!
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan