The other day Cliff went to do our weekly shopping. Coleslaw was on the list, but at the deli section it turned out that the supermarket didn't have any. Later in the day we were out on an errand and decided to check again at the store. But once again there was none in the deli case. The young gentleman behind the counter suggested that if we could wait 10 minutes, he could have some made. I said we could wait. So there I was, sitting in my scooter, drifting back and forth looking at the items in the deli section. One item caught my eye - seafood salad with, among other ingredients, krab. Yes, with a K.
Although I thought I knew why, I asked the young man behind the counter why "crab" was spelled with a "K". He looked at me a bit puzzled and came out from behind the counter to look at the description. And then he asked, "It's spelled with a "C"?"
"Yes, it is."
"I'll have to check with the manager," he said.
What I find slightly amazing is he was not sure of the spelling of "crab", and he didn't realize that the use of the letter "K" is used to indicate artificial crab. I'll bet that the next time I go by the deli case, the spelling will not have been changed.
The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and as Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper, St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow.
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?"
"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that a nod I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St . Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. . "
"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind But I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."
"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions,but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . "