I don't know what it is, but I lit. I'll keep it.
Thanks for the visit. Now get me down from here.
You pick your sleeping places; I'll pick mine.
It's okay, don't be scared. I won't let them hurt you.
I don't know where they came from. Kinda cute, though.
If you wanna stay warm, a sweater works better.
I like my movable table.
Taking care of this guy sure beats carrying around a keg of brandy.
Who did you say you were?
I may have posted this one before, but I think it’s funny.
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place it in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying,
"Jesus is watching you!"
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked off his flashlight and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest upon a parrot.
"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who the heck are you?"
"Moses," Replied the bird.
"Moses" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"
The bird answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus".