SCARED

SCARED

Yesterday Pepper scared the bejabbers out of me!  Cliff and I had gone to a (not very good) play in the afternoon, and then to a (very good) dinner, after which we came home.  It was very quiet here. And then it struck me! Usually when Cliff and I return after being gone a while, Pepper starts her yelling. I don’t know if she’s glad to see us, or is bawling us out for leaving her alone. But here it was -- deathly quiet.  “Pepper!’ I called out.  Nothing. “PEP? WHERE ARE YOU?” Not a peep. Literally.  So Cliff and I started searching in all her (known) hiding places. Then all the places she shouldn’t be. Then all the places she couldn’t be. Since her wings are clipped, Cliff got down on the floor in the living room, dining room, his bedroom and then mine, both bathrooms, and the den looking under all the furniture. Not a sign of her.  “Maybe she died,” said Cliff. “Even if she did,” said I a bit shrilly, “her body would be around here some place!” I was devastated.

About 45 minutes later I was talking on the phone when I thought ... NO!  I heard a chirp! I spun around in my chair just in time to see Miss Guess Who come strolling casually out from under my desk! “Cliff!  Here she is!”

So how come Cliff didn’t see her when he looked under my desk? Well, there is a very dark corner where the desk comes up against the filing cabinet, and that must be where she was hiding.  Whew!  All’s well that ends well!


***

On the other hand ...

The Polish Divorce

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.
One day he rushed into a lawyer's office
and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand.
Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?

She going to poison me.
She buy a bottle at drugstore
and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read... it say:

Polish Remover