MISCELLANEOUS

I had my semi--annual visit to my cardiologist the other day. This gentleman comes highly recommended, and I have been seeing him for more than 10 years. He has done a couple of heart procedures on me (no, no heart attack), and he takes good care of me. He is generally so busy going from patient to patient that he appears to be a little bit grumpy. But this day he was in remarkably good humor.

After he checked me out and pronounced me still in good shape, we got into a conversation about life span and how doctors contribute to that. Actually, he said that doctors do not really contribute to lifespan, but to a better life. I had commented on the increase in lifespan over the centuries, and he said it was not because of doctors, but the introduction of waste disposal and refrigeration. I can’t argue with that.

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There was an item in today’s sports section that I thought was really stupid. The NCAA deemed that a woman athlete in a local college had  received a gift that she should not have accepted. What did she accept? What did she do? She washed her own car on campus. That was an illegal gift of university water and the use of the university hose. Good grief!  The NCAA suggested she pay the university $20.  Expensive hose!

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And speaking of doctors ...

THE NEW MATH

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?"

"274" is his reply.

The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling and says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"

"Tuesday," replies the second man.

The doctor shakes his head sadly then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"

"Nine," says the third man.

"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Simple," he says, "just subtract 274 from Tuesday.