UNDER WATER

Aquatic scenes always fascinate me. You, too?

Gee, I'd like to go for a swim.

He can come for a visit.

 Hey! Jump in! The water's fine.

Ha, ha, ha!  They didn't want to get wet.

 I don't think that's a mushroom.

 Lionfish, King of the Ocean.

 Technically that's a jelly; not a jellyfish. It has no backbone.

 One of those is not a fish.

 Yep, they really are transparent.

 Which way you headed, big guy?

RETIREES

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending coffee break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he does not miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.