RECIPE FOR A PERFECT MARRIAGE
by Red Skelton
Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
I take my wife everywhere.... but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!“ she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said “There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.
My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”
She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!