Different blogs are created for different reasons -- photography, knitting, politics, and on and on. Mine? Good question. For the humor, I suppose, what’s going on around here, and various photos that I want to share with you. It gets pretty quiet around here, so I don’t have anything exciting to report. (Would it electrify you to know that for dinner tonight we’re having meatballs and spaghetti with alfredo sauce? I thought not). So let’s stick with the humor --
GRIPE SHEET” CHUCKLES
These have been around for a while, attributed to various airlines—both in the U.S. and abroad. According to the origin, post-flight procedure requires a pilot to fill out a form relating problems with the aircraft. (One of the nicknames for such a report is “Gripe Sheet”.) The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight Following are some maintenance complaints submitted by pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor!
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.