Tree Swallows (It does?)
Just for Mothers' Day.
In the local Sunday paper there was an article featuring a number of women who told how they were becoming like their mothers. The last one particularly cracked me up: "I was standing in a department store, about a year ago, holding a big purse and various shopping bags, when I looked to the side and saw my mother. My first and immediate thought was, 'Why is Mother out shopping here today?' Then it quickly dawned on me that I had stopped in front of a mirror!" Victoria Dickinson, Danville.
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
The man said, 'I do, Father.'
The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'
Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
'Certainly, Father,' was the man's reply.
'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'
The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'
O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'