Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Amalie's speech student

Amalie was a speech teacher in the grammar schools, and was fond of telling of the time she had an eight year old boy with a lisp. She had him chatting away, and correcting him as necessary. Somehow they were talking about insects, and Amalie asked him if he knew the difference between an insect and a spider. He said that a spider has eight legs, but an insect has six. “How do you happen to know that?” she asked him. His response: “I uthed to be an entymologitht.”

(Now if you don't believe him, count the legs for yourself.)


Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!


  1. Funny ads! My daughter is an arachnophobe so I am alerted to every spider she spots--even at midnight when I'd rather be sleeping. Me, I can let them be, but I wouldn't want to study them!

  2. We had spiders in the garage, didn't think much of them, till I saw one of the same ones inside with the sunlight full on it--red violin-y abdomen. I black widowified it real fast.