BIRD’S EYE VIEW

It’s amazing what one can see from above on a clear day.  Take a look at part one, and you’ll see what I mean.

Amsterdam

Athens, Greece

Bac Son Valley, Vietnam

Barcelona, Spain

Capetown, South Africa

Chicago, Illinois

Island in the Maldives

Moscow, Russia

Humor --

I OWE MY MOTHER

~ My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

~ My mother taught me about the science of
   OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

~ My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

~ My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

~  My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

~ My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

A SAVORY WAY TO GO

There seem to be a gazillion uses for onions.  Both for eating and other non-food uses.  A Google search will keep you busy for some while, but I didn’t find any mention of the following --

That's one way to keep the kids quiet.

Ack! Bugs!

Ready for the cook-off competition

Got the time?

The gardeners are here!

Bunch o' cards!  The one in the back, center looks cross-eyed.

...And in today's news ...

Looking for the ski lift.

Hey, look! A new breed of turtles!

Humor --

I OWE MY MOTHER

~ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

~ My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

~ My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

~ My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

~ My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

~  My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."


LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

More photos of Switzerland.  Have a look!

Fun --

The husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife starts listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up and goes around the desk.  He embraces the woman and kisses her passionately.  The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.  The counselor turns to the husband and says "That is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do that?” The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can get her here Monday and Wednesday, but I play golf on Fridays."

YOUNGSTERS

Here are some cute kids who are not getting into trouble.  Well, for the most part, especially the next-to-last one.

 

 

 Humor --

Inside a bowling alley; “Please be quiet.  We need to hear a pin drop.”

In the front yard of funeral home: “Drive carefully; we’ll wait.”

In a counselor’s office.  “Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional.”

If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

The doctor told me I had to watch my weight, so every morning I step on the scale and watch it go up.

HEY, IT WORKS!

My new camera, I mean.  But it took me a while to understand some of the bells and whistles.  The camera came with a CD, so I inserted it into the computer, and this is what came up.

 

Ah, the manual!  Just what I was looking for. 

ENU.


U?


One friend (thank you, Boyd) suggested that stood for “English, United Kingdom.  At least this was something I could read.


With luck, I’d even understand it.


Saturday I had an opportunity to give it a try. Here are a couple of photos from our Ice Cream Social.

 

All set up, ready to go.  All we need are customers.

The ice cream was still in the freezer. 

Eat, chat, relax

They look pretty good to me.

I didn't take this pic, but here is Cliff ready to serve.

Humor --

A KID’S VIEW OF ANGELS, part 2

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from holy cows.
Jack, 6

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado.
Regan, 10

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter.
Jared , 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it.
Antonia, 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth.
Caitlyn, 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the kid get over it.
Vicki, 8

What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them.
Sarah, 7

WHO HE?

Several weeks ago I wrote about things going wrong, including my camera.  As I wrote back then, I learned that I could buy a new one for little more than the cost of repair if I sent my old one to the camera manufacturer.  So that’s what I did.

They didn’t say how long it would be to deliver my new one, so as a week stretched into nearly two, I didn’t think too much about it. Then the other day I thought I’d better check it out. I did have a confirmation number.
“It’s at the (mumble) station,” the young lady told me.
“Where?” I asked. “Who is the carrier?”
“It’s at Fdmumble near you”
“Oh!” I exclaimed! “Fedex!”
“Yes, Fdmumble.”

It turns out that Fedmumble couldn’t deliver it because the address was incomplete, as well as sent to, no, not Donald Meyer, but (get this) Ronald Villalobos.  Sorry, no one by that name at this address. At least, not the last time I looked. Since the Fedex driver had an incomplete address, and a wrong name, he couldn’t deliver it. So this morning Cliff drove me to the Fedex station where we retrieved my package.

The next step is to read (at least some of) the instructions, and try to take pictures. A quick glance at said instructions tells me that not only does this technological marvel take pictures, but it cooks breakfast, makes the bed, monitors the temperature here in the house, and takes out the garbage. On the other hand, maybe not. I’ll keep you informed, and if you should run into Mr. Villalobos, tell him it’s my camera!


Other humor --

A KID’S VIEW OF ANGELS

I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.
Gregory, 5

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it.
Olive, 9

It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven, then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
Matthew, 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.
Mitchell, 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.
Henry, 8

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the winter.
Sara, 6

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The basic message is where you went wrong before you got dead.
Daniel, 9

BEAUTIFUL SWITZERLAND, part 2

Do enjoy these gorgeous photos --

Fun --

THE TRADE

Preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher? "I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle", said the little boy.

After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?" The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and after riding the bike around a little while said, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal."

The preacher took the mower and began to try to crank it. He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start."

The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started."

The preacher said, "I am a minister, and I cannot cuss. It has been so long since I have been saved that I do not even remember how to cuss."

The little boy looked at him happily and said, "Just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya!"