WEATHER OR NOT

If you live in northern California, you may skip down to the humor.

Otherwise ... we have had, what is for us, a very wet winter. Which is good. We have had drought conditions for several years, and the authorities have been telling us that we have to conserve water. Which we have been doing. And while many of us may have felt inconvenienced by the wet weather, the usual comment has been, “Well, we need it.”

And then spring arrived. A damp one. “Well, we need it.” And then there were a few days of bright, warm weather, and I heard no complaints. Followed by more showers. “Enough, awreddy!”

We have had lovely sunshine this past week, but the forecast for this Sunday is “Possible Passing Showers.” Aaarrgh! But it supposed to be sunny again this coming week. Wish us well (and dry).

More cartoons -

TEXAS LIMO

See you on Monday.

CITY IN THE MOUNTAINS

China has built a city in the mountains. A remarkable piece of engineering. But I have no idea how they got the vehicles up there.















































Humor -

A woman called the county office and asked the clerk to look up a “Mark Smith” ‘Is that ‘Mark’ with a ‘C’, or ‘Mark’ with a ‘K’? “That’s ‘Mark’ with an ‘M’.

***
SELF-EVIDENT, maybe:
A man called information. “I’m looking for the number of a business.”
“What’s the name of the business?”
“1-800-FLOWERS.”

QUIZ TIME

Okay, people. Time to see how sharp you still are. Here is a quiz out of the past. Give it a try.

Get paper and pencil and number from 1 to 20. Write the letter to each answer. Answers at the bottom, after the humor.

1. In the 1940s, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located?
a. On the floor shift knob.
b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch.
c. Next to the horn.

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it.. For what was it used?
a. Capture lightning bugs.
b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing.
c. Large salt shaker.

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?
a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk.
b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled.
c. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?
a.. Blackjack
b. Gin
c. Craps

5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when none were available due to rationing during WW II.
a. Suntan
b. Leg painting
c. Wearing slacks

6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?
a. Studebaker
b. Nash Metro
c. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
a . Strips of dried peanut butter.
b. Chocolate licorice bars.
c Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.

8. How was Butch wax used?
a. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up.
b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing.
c On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust.

9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?
a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key.
b. Woven straps that crossed the foot.
c. Long pieces of twine.

10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?
a. Consider all the facts.
b. Ask Mom.
c. Eeny-meeny-miney-MO.

11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940s and 1950s?
a. Smallpox
b. AIDS
c. Polio

12. 'I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey'
a. SUV
b. Taxi
c. Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pony?
a. Old Blue
b. Paint
c Macaroni

14 What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?
a. Part of the game of hide and seek.
b. What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores.
c Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15 . What was the name of the Indian Princess in the Howdy Doody Show?
a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
b. Princess Sacajawea
c Princess Moonshadow

16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?
a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you high.
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window.
c. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid their failure.

17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?
a.. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum.
b. They could be put in special books and re deemed for various household items.
c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos.

18. Praise the Lord , & pass the _________?
a.. Meatballs
b. Dames
c. Ammunition

19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song 'Cabdriver' a hit?
a. The Ink Spots
b. The Supremes
c. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco ?
a. Tony Bennett
b. Xavier Cugat
c. George Gershwin


Cartoon time:









QUIZ ANSWERS

1. (b) On the floor, to the left of the clutch Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the late '60's to catch on.

2. (b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing.. Who had a steam iron?

3. (c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top....

4 . (a) Blackjack Gum.

5. (b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

6. (a) 1946 Studebaker.

7. (c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

8. (a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut..

9. (a) With clamps , tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.

10... (c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. (c) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease.

12. (b) Taxi , Better be ready by half-past eight!

13. (c) Macaroni ...

14. (c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. (a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.

16... (a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.

17. (b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.

18. (c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

19. (a) The widely famous 50's group: The Inkspots..

20. (a) Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today.

"YOU PASSED"

No, not gas. The written California driver’s test. But I almost didn’t get there. I had the address, and I was sure I knew where it was, But Cliff, who was driving, was quite skeptical. And when we got to the spot where I thought the DMV office should be, it wasn’t. A good thing we left the house early. Cliff swung the car around and said, “I know where it is.” And he did.

The one thing I didn’t forget was all the paper work, including the address. I had just put that address in the wrong part of town. Ah, well, all’s well that ends well, as Shakespeare once said.

Humor -- I, think you’ll either laugh or shudder at this one.

The manager spotted an old customer wandering the aisles of the supermarket. “We’re having a sale on tongue,” he said. “Would you like some?”
“Eeww,” shuddered the woman. “I would never eat anything from an animal’s mouth!”
“Then how about a dozen eggs?”

South Pacific phenomenon

I’ve learned to be skeptical about outstanding claims, so I checked this out on Snopes. They say it is TRUE.

These are some outstanding photos...... ..this happened in 2006. A yacht was traveling in the south Pacific when the crew came across a weird sight. Look at these photos and try to imagine the thrill of experiencing this phenomenon.

A BEACH?

NO! This is not a beach;

It is volcanic stones floating on the water.

WHERE IS THE VOLCANO?

UNBELIEVABLE SIGHT, SO TAKE PICTURES.

THE WAKE OF MY SHIP

This was spotted, ash and steam rising from the ocean..

And later, while we were watching...

A plume of black ash...HUGE CLOUD.
COVER OF RED EVEN THIS FAR AWAY

THEN THE SKY TURNED THE WATER THE COLOR OF THE SUN’S REFLECTION

OUT OF THE OCEAN MOUNTAIN PEAKS ARISE?

MORE ERUPTIONS ASH AND CLOUDS

THE MOUNTAIN PEAKS RISE HIGHER WITHIN MINUTES

A brand new island formed.

CREATION OF MOUNTAINS

Can you imagine the thrill of being the first and only people to see a new island being created where there was nothing before? Amazing!

And after that you need humor? Oh, well ...

A sight impaired man was in a grocery store with her guide dog, when the manager asked, “Is that a blind dog?” “I hope not,” the man replied, “or we’re both in trouble.”

***
The dog owner was at the vet’s to buy a training video for his pet. “How does this work?” she asked. “Do I just have him watch it?”

HUNT FAMILY FIDDLERS

The Los Gatos Community Concert has four concerts a year. The presentation is one Sunday afternoon for each, and the artists they bring in are quite varied. They range from classical to jazz, to modern, to folk music to ... you name it.

Yesterday (Sunday) Cliff and I attended the last concert of the 09-10 season, and what a closer it was! This family -- all nine of ‘em -- don’t fiddle around doing nothing. Oh, quite the contrary. They play different kinds of music, from Irish to bluegrass, to their own composed music, with a variety of stringed instruments, plus keyboard and drums; they sing; they dance! And oh! Such dancing! Celtic reels, step dancing, and something else for which I don’t remember the name.

The family consists of Mom and Dad (Sandy and Clint) and the seven kids -- Jessica, Jennifer, Joshua, Jonathon, Jordan, Justin, and Jamison -- ranging in age from about 20 for the twin girls, down to age 11, and I think that’s Jamison.

To say we had a good time would be putting it mildly. We had a delightful time.

Humor --

A teenager had just passed his first driving test, and was asked if he wanted to be an organ donor. He was unsure, and turned to his dad. “Will it affect my football playing?”
***
A college student returned to the dorm after taking his English midterm, looking upset. “How’d it go?“ asked his roommate. Throwing down his book bag, he said, “Does F-A-L-E mean anything to you?”

YOU HAVE A VIRUS!

I was online yesterday when suddenly a message popped up on my screen:
(These are not the exact words, but something to this effect)

BEWARE! Your computer is infected with a virus. Click here if you want it removed.

So I clicked, and found this was presumably some virus removal program from Microsoft. Didn’t work (I’m on a Mac). So I tried my own antivirus program. Got a message saying something like “Reload software”. So I dug up the antivirus disc and reinstalled the software, along with downloading the latest updates. (Is there such a thing as uploading the downdates?) And Lo! and Behold! I got a message saying “Reload software”. Hey, I just did that.

Now I did not notice anything strange going on with the computer, but I was concerned. So I called Apple tech. When I had explained all of the above to the gentleman, the first thing he said to me was, “Your computer is not infected.” Well! That was good news. He went on to explain that some of these antivirus firms post a message on people’s computers in order to scare them into buying their product. And if that ever happened again would I please take a screen shot of that message, and call Apple tech. They have had a number of similar complaints, and are trying to track it down. I hope they catch these predators.

Humor --

HONEST LAWYER DEPARTMENT:
A sign at Tollgate Farms:

Leonard Sachar
Attorney-at-Law

Bull for sale
* * *
Note -- See you on Monday