SHRIEK!

Alison’s Friday posting that included Michelle shrieking about a bunch of spiders reminded me of a time when I was a teenager. The family had rented a cabin up at the Russian River resort area for the summer. This particular cabin had an interesting layout in that it consisted of a long screened porch that connected to each of the rooms -- bedrooms, bathroom (singular), and the kitchen. My bedroom was clear at one end of the cabin, the furthest from the kitchen, which was at the other end.

One morning I had barely gotten out of bed when my two sisters came running out of the kitchen shrieking at the tops of their lungs. “Get that, that -- thing -- out of there,” they hollered at me. What thing, I wondered. Mind you, one sister was 10 years older than I, and the other 16 years older. It wasn’t as if they were a couple of itty bitty youngsters.

Anyway, I went down to the kitchen, and they slammed the door behind me. And there, under the stove, was this poor little frog. I’ve no idea how it had gotten in, but I picked up the broom, and nudged it out the back door. I expect the shrieks scared the bejabbers out of the poor thing. “All clear!” I hollered. All that yelling made me hungry! Now they could fix breakfast.


Humor-

A farmer boasted to his neighbor, “I’ve got the biggest sheep farm in the state”. “How many do you have?” “I dunno. Every time I try to count them, I fall asleep”.

**
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close: "No, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant."

WHO?

Once again I've been sent photos for me to share. Enjoy!

I'm looking at YOU!

Long wingspan

Maybe I'm a barn owl.

Don't look at me like that. I got caught in a snow storm.

I live in a hole-in-the-wall, er, tree.

Ain't I purdy?

I'm the one that started the expression, "Wise old owl".

Twins?

Ah, dinner!

Why he lookin' up there?

Don't bother me. I'm about to take a nap.

Me, too.

Ready for takeoff

I'm just a widdle kid

Bit of fun --

"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue."
-Anonymous

"Don' t accept your dog' s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-Ann Landers

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
-Will Rogers

TWO BRIEF ITEMS

I've wanted to show you the eggs that my cockatiel Pepper lays, and finally had the chance. The coins -- a dime and a quarter -- are to give you a notion of the size.



The other item is an on-line item. Enter the following URL and watch the Christmas can-can. It is hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E-47VmFopE&feature=channel

I hope this works for you.

Other humor --

What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it
None. It just lets out a little wine.
**
A tourist asks a Texas cattleman the name of his ranch.
“It’s the Bar Seven, Double O, Rocking J, Flying M,” says the rancher.
“Do you have a lot of cattle?”
“Nope, not too many survive the branding.”

**
Headline: Energizer Bunny Jailed; Charged with Battery.

CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS

Our park managers love to decorate. See for yourself. They put these up all around the clubhouse.


























Humor -

Proverbs:
Man who jump off cliff leap to conclusion.
Man who eat family photo soon spitting image of father.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

MY “LITTLE” NEPHEW” AND I

The”little” is in quotes because this story is about Jack and I when he was just a little 9 or 10 year old. Now he is six foot 2 or 3. Back then he was in the cub scouts, and though he was short, he was, unlike his uncle -- me, quite a good athlete for his age.

On the other hand, I was a scrawny kid, and though I liked sports, I wasn’t very good. When it came to softball games, and sides were being chosen, I was always picked last. “Move in! Meyer’s up!” was always the call when It was my turn to bat, and of course I played right field.

Anyway, Jack came home one day after his cub scout meeting, all enthusiastic. “Ya gotta come to the park Saturday ‘cause we’re gonna have a softball game!” So I went to the park at the appointed time. But it wasn’t a game; it was “practice”. And that’s in quotes because most of these youngsters didn’t know which way was up. I suppose there was someone there to coach, or at least organize the youngsters, though I don’t remember anyone showing the kids what to do. So while I was not very good, I did know the basics and the mechanics of the game. When one youngster held the bat between his legs and stood facing the pitcher, I just had to show him the right way. “Stand here like this, and hold the bat back like this, and wait for the ball to get here.” The same went for fielding, and catching fly balls. “You don’t close your eyes when catching the ball.” Jack was a big help because not only did he know the right things to do, he could do them.

--Sketch by Cliff

Eventually the kids coalesced into a decent team, and did play in the cub scout summer league. I don’t remember if they won any games, but they might have. The most amazing thing to me was that I learned what and how to do. That summer we had playground softball games at the local grammar school. Of course I was chosen last. When I came up to bat, it was the usual “Move in! Meyer’s up!” And I smacked the first pitch over the left fielder’s head. Thereafter I was chosen near the top, and I played left field.

Fun -

“All you idiots, fall out,” shouted the sergeant at the soldiers standing in formation. As the rest of the squad dispersed, one soldier remained at attention. The sergeant walked over and raised an eyebrow. “The private grinned, “Sure were a lot of them, sir.”

TREE TRIMMING PARTY

Yesterday (Sunday) we had the tree trimming party where everyone brought some finger food for nibbling, in addition to a toy to be given to the Mountain View Police Department. The police add our contribution to their Toys for Tots program, and they will be by tomorrow to pick ‘em up.

No, not the logs in the fireplace.

These photos are just a sample of the toys that were donated.

And of course we trimmed the tree. Here it is before the decorations were added. Those are just the lights.

And here it is fully decorated!

Here is the top of the trimmed tree

Humor -

Two female privates in the army are ordered to paint the general’s office. They are warned not to get paint on their uniforms. So they lock the door, strip off their clothes, and start to work. An hour later there is a knock at the door. “Who is it?” they ask. “Blind man”. Thinking nothing of it, the privates open the door. “Hi”, says the man. “Where do you want the blinds?”

VISITORS

Today Cliff and I had a delightful visit from my nephew Scott and his wife Chris. They flew up for the day from southern California, and we spent the time swapping tales. Well, most of the time. Scott did spend some time um, "training" my cockatiel Pepper. I think Scott was the one trained.

But their visit reminded me of a time many years ago. The family was invited to a barbecue at my sister Fran's place. Little Scott was there with his mother, and I had brought a date. Somehow it was determined that something was missing, so my date and I said we would go down into town to get it. And we took little toddler Scott with us.

I had parked the car, and the three of us were walking down the sidewalk, Scott between us two adults, holding our hands. And we were getting strange looks. I wonder why. Maybe because I had dark brown hair, Scott was very blond, and my date was a redhead. Ya think?

Humor -

Daffy-nitions

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have. I have character lines!!