IN THE NEWS

Interesting item in this morning’s paper.  It seems that there is a rift in the San Jose Police Department union.  One group of members are unhappy with the way the union administration is handling its affairs, and are urging other union members to join another union.  The administration group is saying SOLIDARITY!  and DIVIDED WE FALL!

The opposing group leader says (and this is a direct quote from the paper), “I disagree.  Democracy is a difficult thing.  It should be fought over on a continual basis.  If not, we’d all be having high tea at 4 o’clock.”

Well, yes.

And I believe it was Winston Churchill who said, “Democracy is the worst form of government, except compared to all the others.”

***
Ooof!  I was reading a detective story this afternoon, when I fell asleep in the recliner chair.  I looked at my watch and realized I hadn’t posted anything yet.  And I’m still half asleep.

Anyway, I thought the following series of photos were both adorable and funny.  Enjoy!  (See you on Monday.)

Fun --

How sweet, the owner grabbed a camera instead of chasing the puppy away.  (And 'sweet' seems to be the operative word here.)

SNOW, PEOPLE

'Sno wonder that kids of any age love snowmen!

THE BEST LAID PLANS...

This Saturday Cliff and I had intended to visit our friends in Salinas, but the weather forecast is for rain, rain, and more rain right up to, and maybe through Christmas.  Could be as much as 5 inches of precipitation, according to the forecasters.  So we have agreed to put this off until 2011 when things get back to some semblance of normal.

We have gifts for them, and hope to get them delivered before Ground Hog Day (early January, actually).

On the other hand, I saw the chiropractor the other day, and he thought I might have a bladder infection.  He suggested I see my doctor and get it checked out.  Did so this morning, and I have been declared clean -- no infection.

Cartoons -

TIME TO GROAN

I’d better get these out of the way before I lose my resolve.  These are real groaners!

Rudolph was a staunch member of the Russian Communist party.  One day he came home after a hard day’s work, and announced to his wife that it was raining.

“Oh no, dear.  I was just outside and it was snowing.”

“I said it was raining!”

“But dear, I just saw the snow,” the wife protested.

“RAIN!  Rudolph, the Red knows rain, dear!”

And then there is this:

You all know about Santa’s reindeer -- Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen; Cupid, Comet, Donner and Blitzen.  But there are two more.  You know what they are?  For one clue, see previous joke.  Ah, you got it -- Rudolph.  Now one more.  Any one?  No?

The tenth reindeer is Olive.  Olive?  Sure.  As in the song --
“Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names!”

Groan.

POSSIBLE NAME CHANGE

On Mondays at Avenidas at the ten o’clock hour, there is a group called Hope group, where participants are urged to introduce themselves and tell what they hope for, or what they are grateful or thankful for.  A few weeks ago I asked Sarah, the social worker leader, if I could tell a joke.  She agreed, and so I did.  The following week she told me that I was now the official joke teller.  Nothing like having a title!

Then there is Bob, who is sharp as a tack.  But Bob is 90 years old, and very hard of hearing.  So I have taken to typing up my jokes for him, and he usually roars with laughter.  Last week he asked if he could read the joke, and I agreed.  He got quite a kick out of it.  He insists on giving me credit for the humor.  And again yesterday he read the joke, which is repeated here on the blog.

Then another said that he had a joke, too, so Sarah let him read it.  Another good one.  (Reproduced below.)  After which Sarah commented that maybe the group should change names to Joke Group.

Humor -
Here’s the one I brought --

This is the story of the young lady who phones her boy friend.

“Hi, I’m having trouble with a jig saw puzzle.  Would you please help me?”

“Sure, what’s it supposed to be?”

“Well, there’s a big red rooster on the box.”

“Okay, I’ll be right over.”

The boy friend arrives, and looks at all the pieces spread out all over the table.  “Tell you what,” he says.  “Let’s just relax, have a nice hot cup of coffee, and then we’ll put all these cornflakes back in the box.”

Here is the joke told by the other fellow --

Father Flanigan was walking down the street when he met Catherine, whom he had married to her husband about a year ago.  “Top o’ the mornin’ to ya,” he said.  “And how ya be?  Any wee ones yet?”

“Ah, no, Father, no wee ones yet,” she responded.

“Weel, I’ll tell ya, Catherine.  I’m off to Rome for a meetin’, and I’ll light a candle for ya for some wee ones,” promised Father Flanigan.

It was some years before they met again.  “Ah, Catherine, any wee ones yet?”

“Oh, yes, Father.  I have three sets of twins and four other youngsters -- 10 in all.”

“And how is your dear husband?” asked Father Flanigan.

“Oh, he’s off to Rome to blow out that candle.”

HOLIDAY DECORATIONS

Every year our park managers put up these fancy figures around our clubhouse.
Enjoy!

Humor

Dear Abby, I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?  Signed, Sam

Dear Sam, Yes. Run for public office.
~
Dear Abby, I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits. Signed, Rose

Dear Rose, So would I.

IN THE RIGHT LEAGUE

A friend loaned me Darwin's  The Voyage of the Beagle, and Darwin uses leagues for measurement, which got me wondering,  “What is a league?” When in doubt, look it up, and those of you with computers know that virtually anything can be found on Google.

It turns out that a league has had a variety of measurements, ranging from the old Roman of about a mile and a half to something over six miles.  Though the measure is not in much use these days, the standard used these days is three miles.

Which got me thinking.  Remember the old Jules Verne story 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea?  There
was also a movie back in 1954.  Old Jules really had his story in a strange place.  Even under the old Roman definition of a mile and a half, 20,000 leagues would be around 30,000 miles.  Ahem!  The earth is only 7,900 miles in diameter, which would put Captain Nemo about 22,000 miles out in space (on the other side, of course).

Well, apparently Jules Verne either didn’t know or didn’t care how big the earth was.  “20,000 inches under the Sea” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.


Humor -

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.  The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down.  I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies,  and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars."

The guy says,  "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."