Let me specify right at the beginning that the mistake was mine. However ...
Back in mid December I ordered two used (pre-owned?)books from Amazon. My error was that while I thought I’d ordered two different books, I actually ordered two of the same. When the second one came in, I realized what had happened, so I called Amazon to find out how to return the second copy. I explained the situation, and was told to send the supplier an email using the Amazon site. I was told that it would take three days for the supplier to get back to me. And so I sent the email. This was the Tuesday before Christmas. Let’s see -- Wednesday, Thursday, Fri - oops, don’t count Friday; that’s Christmas eve. So I figured I wouldn’t hear before the following Monday.
The week between Christmas and New Years -- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday I heard nothing, so I called Amazon again, and went through the whole sad story again. “Send another email,” I was told. “Oh, and it will take about three days. Here we go again. Thursday, Monday, Tuesday... guess what? Nothing. So I called Amazon once more. “You’ll have to file a claim.” But the fellow did walk me through that process. “Oh, and by the way, it will take about three days.” Yeah! I’ll let you know how this turns out.
Let’s change the tone with a bit of humor --
These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
"You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
ASTONISHING STORY
If it weren't photos that accompanied the email, I might have been led to believe it was a joke. My thanks to Brenda for sending it.
His present owner Jude Stringfellew has given up her teaching post and plans to take him around the world to preach that even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul'.
In life there are always undesirable things, so in order to feel better you just need to look at life from another direction. I hope this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone and that everyone will appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day. Faith is the continual demonstration of the strength and wonder of life.
Humor -
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
This dog was born on Christmas Eve in the year 2002. He was born with 2 legs - He of course could not walk when he was born. Even his mother did not want him.
His first owner also did not think that he could survive and he was thinking of 'putting him to sleep'. But then, his present owner, Jude Stringfellow, met him and wanted to take care of him. She became determined to teach and train this little dog to walk by himself. She named him 'Faith'.
In the beginning, she put Faith on a surfboard to let him feel the movement. Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and reward for him for standing up and jumping around. Even the other dog at home encouraged him to walk. Amazingly, only after 6 months, like a miracle, Faith learned to balance on his hind legs and to jump to move forward. After further training in the snow, he could now walk like a human being.
Faith loves to walk around now. No matter where he goes, he attracts people to him. He is fast becoming famous on the international scene and has appeared on various newspapers and TV shows. There is now a book entitled 'With a Little Faith' being published about him. He was even considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.
His present owner Jude Stringfellew has given up her teaching post and plans to take him around the world to preach that even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul'.
In life there are always undesirable things, so in order to feel better you just need to look at life from another direction. I hope this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone and that everyone will appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day. Faith is the continual demonstration of the strength and wonder of life.
Humor -
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
DISCOVERED!
Yesterday I was in the doctor’s office waiting my turn, and picked up a magazine I had not remembered seeing before -- DISCOVER MAGAZINE. I was barely into it when I was called to the exam room, but I’d seen enough that I knew I wanted to see more. So I dropped it on the floor of my scooter, and later Cliff folded it into my carry bag. I’m just borrowing it, I promise.
Later that evening I read further and found the articles and photos quite fascinating. For example, did you know that there are ice worms (related to earthworms) whose metabolism rises as the temperature gets colder? Or the news that the military is trying to convert to alternative fuels because they are more efficient? How about ocean thermal energy conversion to create electricity? There were also articles about growing a new lung, the secret social life of plants, and some fascinating astronomy discoveries.
Now I’m no scientist, but these are written for lay people, and I, find them quite intriguing, so much so, in fact, that I went on line this morning, and purchased a two year subscription (they had a special on). And yes, I will give back the borrowed magazine.
Fun -
FROM “THE WEEK” NEWS MAGAZINE:
Travis Pittman of Des Moines, Washington, accidentally dropped his engagement ring into Puget Sound while proposing to his girl friend on a pier. “I shudder to think I may be engaged to a salmon,” said Pitman, whose fiancee accepted anyway.
***
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'That's not what I said!'
Later that evening I read further and found the articles and photos quite fascinating. For example, did you know that there are ice worms (related to earthworms) whose metabolism rises as the temperature gets colder? Or the news that the military is trying to convert to alternative fuels because they are more efficient? How about ocean thermal energy conversion to create electricity? There were also articles about growing a new lung, the secret social life of plants, and some fascinating astronomy discoveries.
Now I’m no scientist, but these are written for lay people, and I, find them quite intriguing, so much so, in fact, that I went on line this morning, and purchased a two year subscription (they had a special on). And yes, I will give back the borrowed magazine.
Fun -
FROM “THE WEEK” NEWS MAGAZINE:
Travis Pittman of Des Moines, Washington, accidentally dropped his engagement ring into Puget Sound while proposing to his girl friend on a pier. “I shudder to think I may be engaged to a salmon,” said Pitman, whose fiancee accepted anyway.
***
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'That's not what I said!'
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
BEAUTIFUL SWITZERLAND, part one
Just enjoy these...and then a few more later in the week.
Humor -
This is presumably true --
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Now remember, this is supposedly true.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
Humor -
This is presumably true --
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Now remember, this is supposedly true.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
Monday, January 3, 2011
SMALL DOG
This is a true story.
When I was just a little kid, my older sister came home one evening with a little Chihuahua puppy. And this dog was so little it could stand in your hand. My dad took one look at this animal and exclaimed, “That’s a dog?” Apparently he had had bigger dogs in the past.
M sister was grinning, and told us about what had happened on the way home. She had stopped at the local bakery to buy something and was standing in line. She was holding the pup, but wanted her hands to be free, so she put the dog on a large decorative button on the lapel of her coat. After a few minutes the woman standing behind my sister suddenly exclaimed, “IT MOVED!” Apparently she thought was just part of the coat’s decoration.
My sister kept Henry (that’s what she named him) in her bedroom where he had water and a basket with a blanket on the floor where the dog could sleep. Each morning my mom used to give me a plate with some scrambled raw egg for me to take up to Henry, which he would happily schlurp up.
One time the family went out for the evening, but my dad did not go. When they came home, Pop was no where to be found. He wasn’t in the living room, or the kitchen, or asleep in his own bed. Then when my sister opened her bedroom door to go to bed, she discovered Pop -- stretched out on the floor with his head in the dog’s basket. Where was the dog? Sound asleep, on top of my father’s head!
Other humor -
A man goes to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"
The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything."
"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient.
To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"
When I was just a little kid, my older sister came home one evening with a little Chihuahua puppy. And this dog was so little it could stand in your hand. My dad took one look at this animal and exclaimed, “That’s a dog?” Apparently he had had bigger dogs in the past.
M sister was grinning, and told us about what had happened on the way home. She had stopped at the local bakery to buy something and was standing in line. She was holding the pup, but wanted her hands to be free, so she put the dog on a large decorative button on the lapel of her coat. After a few minutes the woman standing behind my sister suddenly exclaimed, “IT MOVED!” Apparently she thought was just part of the coat’s decoration.
My sister kept Henry (that’s what she named him) in her bedroom where he had water and a basket with a blanket on the floor where the dog could sleep. Each morning my mom used to give me a plate with some scrambled raw egg for me to take up to Henry, which he would happily schlurp up.
One time the family went out for the evening, but my dad did not go. When they came home, Pop was no where to be found. He wasn’t in the living room, or the kitchen, or asleep in his own bed. Then when my sister opened her bedroom door to go to bed, she discovered Pop -- stretched out on the floor with his head in the dog’s basket. Where was the dog? Sound asleep, on top of my father’s head!
Other humor -
A man goes to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"
The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything."
"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient.
To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"
Friday, December 31, 2010
WILDLIFE
Next posting will be on Monday, January 3, 2011. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wildlife magazine published what they called the best wildlife photos of 2010. I think they are pretty remarkable!
End of year humor -
Presumably these are actual comments made by Police Officers, that were taken off police car videos around the country:
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
Wildlife magazine published what they called the best wildlife photos of 2010. I think they are pretty remarkable!
Snowy owl
Mountain goat
Ruby-throated hummingbird
Pronghorns
Penguin convention
Bobcats
Scissor tailed flycatchers (that's what the caption said)
Arctic foxes
Walrus
Baby gorilla
End of year humor -
Presumably these are actual comments made by Police Officers, that were taken off police car videos around the country:
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
Thursday, December 30, 2010
ORIGAMI
Won Park is the master of Origami. He is also called the "money folder", a practitioner of origami whose canvas is the United States One Dollar Bill. Bending, twisting, and folding, he creates life-like shapes in stunning detail.
Crab
Scorpion
Jacket
Fun -
Presumably, these are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded.
Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
I would not allow this student to breed.
Your child has delusions of adequacy.
Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
Butterfly
Camera
Crab
Dolphin
Fish
Penguin
Scorpion
Shark
Toilet bowl
Dragon
Jacket
Spider
Fun -
Presumably, these are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded.
Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
I would not allow this student to breed.
Your child has delusions of adequacy.
Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
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