SMALL DOG

This is a true story.

When I was just a little kid, my older sister came home one evening with a little Chihuahua puppy.  And this dog was so little it could stand in your hand.  My dad took one look at this animal and exclaimed, “That’s a dog?”  Apparently he had had bigger dogs in the past. 

M sister was grinning, and told us about what had happened on the way home.  She had stopped at the local bakery to buy something and was standing in line.  She was holding the pup, but wanted her hands to be free, so she put the dog on a large decorative button on the lapel of her coat.  After a few minutes the woman standing behind my sister suddenly exclaimed, “IT MOVED!”  Apparently she thought was just part of the coat’s decoration.

My sister kept Henry (that’s what she named him) in her bedroom where he had water and a basket with a blanket on the floor where the dog could sleep.  Each morning my mom used to give me a plate with some scrambled raw egg for me to take up to Henry, which he would happily schlurp up.

One time the family went out for the evening, but my dad did not go.  When they came home, Pop was no where to be found.  He wasn’t in the living room, or the kitchen, or asleep in his own bed.  Then when my sister opened her bedroom door to go to bed, she discovered Pop -- stretched out on the floor with his head in the dog’s basket.  Where was the dog?  Sound asleep, on top of my father’s head!


Other humor -

A man goes to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"

The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything."

"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient.

To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"