ANIMAL CONVERSATIONS

You just need to know the particular language.

Now who is gonna get me down from here?

His father is a red head.

You were going out for a short walk, and you didn’t come home ‘til three in the morning!

Hi, there, old friend!  Now how do we get untangled. 

Git down from there!

You see anything?  I don’t see much through the mail slot.

Humor --

OFFSPRING:
Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

BRIDGES

Where else do you want to go?  Perhaps we can bridge the gap --

 

Fun - 

SOUND OF MUSIC Parody

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillac's and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, when the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short, shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And I don't feel so bad.

IT'S JUST PAPER

By a paper artist .There is nothing simple or ordinary about his paper art. Where we would simply use a piece of paper and a pair of scissors, Calvin uses everything you could possibly think of to carve, cut and rip perfect details onto his creations. The motifs are all wildlife, and that must be one of the hardest categories of things to make with paper since there are sometimes impossible details on animals. These details are amazing and one can't even fathom the time it must take to create these masterpieces of art.

 

 And here is the artist

Humor --

An old man and  woman were married for many years, even though they fought with each other.

Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the  night.
The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of  the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbors  feared him.  They believed he practiced magic because of the many  strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.

The old  man liked the fact that he was feared.  To everyone's relief, he died of a  heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the  funeral.

After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and  began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
Her neighbors, concerned for her  safety, asked "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out  of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her  drink and said, "Let him dig.  I had him buried upside down.
And  I know he won't ask for directions."

BRIDGES, part 1

Bridges of all kinds, to get from here to there, and everywhere --

 

Humor -

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up' "?

ANIMAL SAYINGS, part 2

Ok, this is all I have of these.

Now how did I get up here?

 

Fun -

Life is short.  Smile while you still have teeth.

...AND THEN HE SAID ...

Ever watch an animal as it does something unusual, and wonder what it is thinking?  Well, wonder no more.

FIND A SUNBEAM – TAKE A NAP

 

 Family portrait

Funny cartoon --

SEA LIFE

This is an absolutely astonishing video from youtube.  Some pretty weird looking creatures!

SIMPLY GORGEOUS, part 2

We certainly have beautiful places on this planet.  See for yourself.

Humor -

CHURCH MIS-ADVERTISEMENTS

~ For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

~ The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
 
~ At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

~ Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.