CHICKEN WIRE

Chicken wire is used to make fences, papier mache objects, building stucco walls, creating shapes for bushes and hedges and art.   But this British-born artist Ivan Lovatt found another use for it.
See for yourself.

Fun -

* My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

* The 10 Commandments are not a multiple choice.

* The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
**
The youngster had been begging for weeks, so his Mom finally gave in and bought him a hamster.  But just as she feared, she wound up taking care of it.  One evening, exasperated, she asked him, “Why did you even want the darn thing?  How many times do you think it would have died if I hadn’t been looking after it?”  “I dunno.  Once?”

UNUSUAL PHOTOS, Part 2

Here's a few more of these, um, interesting photos.  Captions are mine.

 Hold still!  I’m trying to write!

 Aaaaah!  That’s cold!

 Hey!  That's my head!  The ball is over there!

Hey! It's my turn to be on top.

This is called 'Iced in'.  Or 'Outdoor Refrigeration'.

Which one can you ride?

  Speak!

 You like my new pet?

 Three decker bus

Don’t nobody sneeze!

Fun -

A gnome auditioned to conduct an orchestra, but was told he didn’t have what it takes to be a conductor.  Undeterred, the gnome bought some new clothes and cool shoes, and got a fancy haircut.  Then he auditioned again, and was hired on the spot.
Why?
Because now he was a Metro Gnome.

PLAY BALL!

FUN OUT OF REAL LIFE

Former NFL coach and sports announcer John Madden has a brief segment on local radio where he and sports announcer Steve Bitker, anchors Stan Bunger and Susan Leigh Taylor kick around the latest sports happenings.  Sometimes it’s the majors, or college sports, and occasionally it is about local sports events. Often their commentary is quite funny.

Apparently Madden is on a bocce ball team (similar to lawn bowling) that plays in a league, and Bunger and Bitker also play the sport.  The other morning Madden mentioned the bocce ball team that he is on, and Stan Bunger told John that he and Bitker were very close to having a sponsor for their KCBS bocce ball team.  I was able to re-hear the audio at the KCBS website, so the following is a close approximation of the ensuing conversation. Madden’s final line is verbatim.

Bunger:  We’re going to camp next week, aren’t we Steve? 

Bitker:  Possibly that’s correct.

Bunger:  We have the facility arranged, some expert guidance has been secured and a sponsor also secured, although it’s premature to make the full announcement on that.

Madden: Geez, but that’s great. But you guys are a little late going to camp.  Most of the teams have been in camp 2, 3, 4, 5 weeks.

Bitker, to Madden:  How much good has that done you?

Madden:  A little better.  We started training three weeks ago.  The first week back in camp I stunk.  The second week I just smelled.

***

More from real life - This is from the morning paper.  The headline reads ‘DANGER DOGS’ ARE HAVING THEIR DAY.  After reading the article, I have to agree with the name, for these are pretty good cholesterol boosters.  They are grilled hot dogs wrapped in bacon.  Sounds delicious, ... but ...


Humor -

Please make certain your E-mail addresses are correct before you send, because:

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel  where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel reservations. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, and his wife was to fly down the next day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her E-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....somewhere in Houston, a woman had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He had been a minister for many years and had been "called home to glory" following a sudden heart attack.  The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen, which read:
  To: My loving wife
  Subject: I've arrived

I know you're surprised to hear from me. I've just arrived and checked in. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is HOT DOWN HERE!  

WISTERIA

I don't remember who sent me these gorgeous wisteria photos, and I don't have any text to accompany them.  However, if I remember correctly, these are all somewhere in Japan.  Really magnificent!  Enjoy!

Doing a number on humor -

Why is 6 afraid of 7?  Because 7 8 9.

What did 2 say to 3 about the unruly 6?  Don’t mind him.  He’s just a product of our times.

UNUSUAL PHOTOS

Well, I think they're unusual!  Captions are mine, and do feel free to substitute your own.

I’m bushed!  Wake me for dinner.

Chow time!

What was that noise we heard?

Hey, come swimming with me.

X marks the spot.

 We’re guarding him.

Now how do I get down without getting my feet wet?

You only move that plane when the shade moves!

Oh!  Thank you very much.

You can let me off at the next restaurant.  I hope that chipmunk hasn't beaten me there.

Humor -

A woman goes to a museum of modern art.  She is not familiar with this art form, but thinks she should have a look around.  So she wanders through the various portions of the museum.  At one point she enters a gallery that she finds most disturbing!  The paintings, if they can be called that, are really horrendous -- ghastly colors that look as if they have been hurled at the canvas, others with weird streaks and spots, and others to grotesque to describe.

It just so happens that the artist is sitting over in a corner of the gallery, so the woman goes over to him and says, “I’m really sorry, but I do not understand your paintings.”  The artist stands and draws himself up to his full height.  “Madam,” he says, “I paint what I feel!”
Her response -- “Have you tried Alka Seltzer?”

STRANGE SITE/SIGHT

 This is the Diga del Cingino dam in Italy

 Look close...see the spots on the dam wall?

My first horrible thought when I saw those spots was that birds were crashing into the wall of the dam.

What on earth...?

Obviously not birds!

They are European Ibex and they like to eat the moss and lichen; lick the salt off the dam wall.

Punnin' around --

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

AND I’VE NEVER EVEN PLAYED HOCKEY!

You know what hockey players look like.  Okay, ‘tis done.  Five of my lowers gone.  Big hole there?  Oh no.  The dentist put in my temporary denture and said it will act as a bandage.  I asked Cliff if it would be too gross if he took a picture of me with or without my bright shiny teeth.  Yeah, it would be too gross.  How about just a pic of the denture?  No.  Ah, well, there are others (thank you, Laura) who will help further the cause of knowledge.

So I’m drinking lots of liquids, and in a day or two I can try soft foods.  I can even have ice cream!  At Avenidas they pureed my lunch.  Pretty tasty, and it slid right down.
***
Following morning:  I slept surprisingly well, and this morning I’m not even feeling any pain.  The temporary denture needs a bit of adjustment, and that will be done on Monday.  Frankly, I’m astonished at how well I feel.

***
Friday evening --
I just finished watching the movie The King’s Speech.  I thought it was superb.

***
Saturday morning --
Still doing well.  Couple of sore spots.  Boy, that's gotta be a big surprise.
Comment on yesterday's post that the 'hamster', the one with the peanut, was French-Canadian.  The fifth one down.  Huh? How could one tell?  Then an email saying that is not a hamster, but a chipmunk.  As to French-Canadian, I was told to look at the writing behind the animal.  Wow, these people have sharp eyes!


Humor (Thanks to Sandy)  --

It is known that some species of fish on the coral reef have adapted to be able to survive the poisonous sea anemone's sting.  This gives them a safe place to hide from predators.  What isn't so well-known is the story of the single fish that decided to be different.  One day he swam away from his protective anemone, in search of some other hiding place.

At first, he swam into a small crevice in the rock, but he very quickly swam out of there, chased by an eel.  Then he decided he could hide inside a shell, so he found a nice big one that he liked, but had to retreat from the crab that got there before him.  Finally, exhausted, he swam into the coral beds, and hid among the brilliant colored fern-like fronds of the corals.

The next day, when he hadn't come back to the anemone, some of the other fish decided to go out and look for him. They hunted everywhere for him, but they couldn't find him.  Eventually, just as they had given up, they heard him calling to them.  They looked around, but they couldn't see him anywhere.
He was perfectly hidden by the coral.

Finally, he showed himself and they tried to persuade him to come back home.  But he refused.  The coral was too good a hiding place to leave and "After all," he said, "with fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

***
See you on Monday with some dam interesting photos.  No, I'm not swearing.

MORE CUTE ANIMALS

There seems to be a lot of snoozing.  Not all, of course.  Have a look.

 I’ll sleep anywhere I want.  Even on top of his laptop.

 Look alikes.

 I’m just waiting for Halloween.

Rabbits!  Some are real, and some are not.  Is that a cat at one end?

Mine!  All mine!  You can’t have any.

Obe Wan Kenobe’s cousin.  I think.

All curled up, and ready for a nap.

Well, this way he can’t bite me.

We always sleep like this.

Fun -

FIRST TIME IN CHURCH

A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates.  When they came near his pew, he exclaimed loudly, “Don’t pay for me, Daddy.  I’m under 5.”

***
GRANDMA’S AGE

Little Johnny asked his grandmother how old she was.  Grandma answered, “39 and holding.”  Queried the youngster, ”How old would you be if you let go?”