Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Saturday, November 2, 2013
KEUKENHOF GARDENS, Part 2
Oops. Almost went past this one.
I didn’t think you’d mind seeing a few more pics from this lovely garden.
I didn’t think you’d mind seeing a few more pics from this lovely garden.
Race ya!
Beautiful bridge.
Ooh, looks like a party
Have a seat -- carefully.
Thanksgiving rabbits?
Pretty small pond for a dolphin.
Have a heart!
Yeah, we give a hoot.
For my next selection ...
Humor --
A guy is driving around the back woods, and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale’. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.’
‘But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten bucks,' the guy says.
'Ten bucks? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar……….. He's never been out of the garden'
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.’
‘But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten bucks,' the guy says.
'Ten bucks? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar……….. He's never been out of the garden'
Friday, November 1, 2013
Engineers Without Diplomas
They do a remarkable job, especially considering the tools they have to use.
A: Try a bookstore under fiction
Q: My wife is going through menopause. What can
I do?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus-year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 60-plus-year-old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus-year-olds to have problems with short-term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where do 60-plus-year-olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus-year-olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “I remember these!”
Fun --
Q: Where can men or women over the age of 60 find young, sexy members of the opposite sex who are sexually interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction
Q: My wife is going through menopause. What can
I do?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus-year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 60-plus-year-old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus-year-olds to have problems with short-term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where do 60-plus-year-olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus-year-olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “I remember these!”
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
KEUKENHOF GARDENS
These magnificent gardens are near Lisse, The Netherlands, close to Amsterdam.
An overview
All that the serious artist needs
Oooh! Almost lunch time!
After much consideration, I've decided that this is a butterfly.
The royal elephant!
Hmmm. The white keys seem a little out of tune.
Whooo said I can't fly!
This guy's so flighty, they had to tie him down.
Looks like a jelly roll.
Humor --
If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way Mom told you to.
**
Chocolate comes from cocoa, which comes from a tree. That makes it a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as salad.
**
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you are in deep water.
**
Always keep your words soft and sweet in case you have to eat them.
**
Chocolate comes from cocoa, which comes from a tree. That makes it a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as salad.
**
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you are in deep water.
**
Always keep your words soft and sweet in case you have to eat them.
Monday, October 28, 2013
ODD COLLECTION
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I agree that this a strange collection of pics.
Jack and Jill
Jogged up the hill,
Their breath came
Faster and faster.
Before the top
They made a stop,
Narrowly averting
A myocardial disaster.
***
Jack tried to be nimble
He tried to be quick.
He shot hoops with young guys
And ruptured a disc.
***
Oh where, oh where
Has my Estrogen gone?
Oh where, oh where can it be?
I was once young and fair
Now I sprout facial hair
Oh hormones, come back to me.
***
Low-fat cake, no-cal shake
Pritikin man,
I’ve tried every diet
From here to Japan.
I’ve poached it, I’ve steamed it,
I’ve drunk herbal tea.
I think from now on
I’ll just let myself be.
I should be in politics. I'm transparent.
I am having nothing to do with what appears to be a 3-headed snake!
Beautiful!
All dressed up.
Well, you needn't get all puffed up!
Another beauty
Big fella. Looks tired.
Probably from outer space.
Humor --
MOTHER GOOSE, REVISITED
Jack and Jill
Jogged up the hill,
Their breath came
Faster and faster.
Before the top
They made a stop,
Narrowly averting
A myocardial disaster.
***
Jack tried to be nimble
He tried to be quick.
He shot hoops with young guys
And ruptured a disc.
***
Oh where, oh where
Has my Estrogen gone?
Oh where, oh where can it be?
I was once young and fair
Now I sprout facial hair
Oh hormones, come back to me.
***
Low-fat cake, no-cal shake
Pritikin man,
I’ve tried every diet
From here to Japan.
I’ve poached it, I’ve steamed it,
I’ve drunk herbal tea.
I think from now on
I’ll just let myself be.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
DECORATIONS
Here are a number of photos of over sized ornamentations that you may like --
***
Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. “Young man, we're both 90 years old,” the husband said. “We may not have 45 minutes.” They were seated immediately.
Here, have a drink.
If these are boots, you need really curly toes.
A path not for walking
(Maybe in your bare feet?)
Beautiful bridge
That hat's too big for me.
Have a tall one.
Looks like a helmet to me.
I don't think I can lift that.
Too big for the dining room table.
Humor --
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
***
Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. “Young man, we're both 90 years old,” the husband said. “We may not have 45 minutes.” They were seated immediately.
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