BEST USE OF VEHICLES

Really, now! You do agree, of course, that regardless of the kind of vehicle you have, you want to make the best use of it.  Like these ...

Just asking -- is the vehicle carrying that load, or did it crash into it?

Moo-ving right along.

Ok, lumbering along.

Whatever it is, it's well wrapped.

Sheep? Some kind of livestock.

They won't get tire-d

The lead bike seems to be leaning into the load.

There might be a bus under there.

Humor --

50-YARD LINE TICKETS

A man had 50-yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes along and asks the man if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No", he says, "the seat is empty". "This is incredible," says the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sport event in the world, and not use it?" Somberly, the man says, "Well... the seat actually belongs to me. I was supposed to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we have not been together since we got married in 1967." "Oh I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else--a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head, "No. They're all at her funeral."

STARTED SOMETHING

That certainly was not my intention. I just wanted to show a video to our Book Club members. I subscribe to a scientific video series from DISCOVER Magazine, some of which are quite good, and others perhaps not so much. The one I wanted to show is about hummingbirds, and if you think these little creatures are amazing, you don’t know the half of it! (Tell 'em, Lynn!)

The Book Club members were quite open to the idea, and there was some discussion about when to show it.
There is a television screen mounted on the wall in the small room where the Book Club meets, and at the other side of the room is located a DVD/VCR player, as well as two remotes -- one for the TV set and one for the DVD/VCR player. 

Then one member suggested the idea of starting a monthly movie club. She even volunteered to head up this activity and has dubbed it “The Sunset Film Society”.  She is bringing the first DVD -- Woody Allen’s Death and Love in July.  Then I will present Hummingbirds: Magic in the Air in August.  Yes, we do have creative people here.



Fun --

If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

There are no new sins....the old ones just get more publicity.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

SCARED

SCARED

Yesterday Pepper scared the bejabbers out of me!  Cliff and I had gone to a (not very good) play in the afternoon, and then to a (very good) dinner, after which we came home.  It was very quiet here. And then it struck me! Usually when Cliff and I return after being gone a while, Pepper starts her yelling. I don’t know if she’s glad to see us, or is bawling us out for leaving her alone. But here it was -- deathly quiet.  “Pepper!’ I called out.  Nothing. “PEP? WHERE ARE YOU?” Not a peep. Literally.  So Cliff and I started searching in all her (known) hiding places. Then all the places she shouldn’t be. Then all the places she couldn’t be. Since her wings are clipped, Cliff got down on the floor in the living room, dining room, his bedroom and then mine, both bathrooms, and the den looking under all the furniture. Not a sign of her.  “Maybe she died,” said Cliff. “Even if she did,” said I a bit shrilly, “her body would be around here some place!” I was devastated.

About 45 minutes later I was talking on the phone when I thought ... NO!  I heard a chirp! I spun around in my chair just in time to see Miss Guess Who come strolling casually out from under my desk! “Cliff!  Here she is!”

So how come Cliff didn’t see her when he looked under my desk? Well, there is a very dark corner where the desk comes up against the filing cabinet, and that must be where she was hiding.  Whew!  All’s well that ends well!


***

On the other hand ...

The Polish Divorce

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.
One day he rushed into a lawyer's office
and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand.
Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?

She going to poison me.
She buy a bottle at drugstore
and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read... it say:

Polish Remover

AWESOME

That’s the title that came with these pics. They are a variety of seemingly unrelated photographs, as we gasp at the beauty, or originality, audacity, or idiocy of each.  You’ll see what I mean.

WOW!  Talk about one's own personal aquarium! 

Hard to believe that those are real colors.

 Ah, a flutterby, er, um, butterfly

Don't feed the animals. The ones in the cage, I mean.

Simply beautiful

For someone who has a hard time getting the words out.

I think this guy belongs with the Staying Young group.

Just curious. How does he stop at the bottom?

Now that I think is clever.

The original sea horse.

I can think of other ways to take a bath.

Humor --

Light travels faster than sound. "That's why some people appear to be brilliant until you hear them speak.

***
My wife and I are a forgiving couple.  Years ago she forgave me for not being Robert Redford.  On her birthday, I forgave her for not being Dolly Parton!
            ~ Rodney Dangerfield
***

An Oklahoma State Trooper pulls over a pick-up truck on I-40 and says to the driver,"Got any ID?"  The Driver says,  "Bout wut?"

OFF TO PANAMA

Last month my barber/hair stylist Holly and her husband Scott retired to Panama.  They had spent many months exploring other parts of the world, and this is where they decided to spend the rest of their days.

Holly has an ongoing blog, describing all of the adventures they are having, including buying cars, signing up for health insurance, meeting other Americans (expats, they are called), and certainly not least, taking classes to learn Spanish.

Scott is one of these relaxed handy fellows who can build/repair practically anything, but it also turns out that he is an excellent photographer.  Holly had posted a number of photos he has taken, and I found so many to be striking that I asked permission to post some here.  Permission granted.
Have a look at their view of Panama --

Okay, that's Scott's view in Panama. Meet Holly, flaking out!

Beautiful flora

...and interesting fauna

Is that a monkey?

Don't let it bug you.

Hiding in plain sight

Yeah, we know what this is.

This is part of the Rambala jungle. Looks like jungle, doesn't it.

Rock pool

Pretty little waterfall.

Fun?

AN EXERCISE FOR SENIORS

The following exercise is designed to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It is suggested for three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks, then 50-lb potato sacks,  and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

AFRICA

Perhaps when we think of Africa, we picture immense deserts or entangled jungle filled with wild beasts.
Perhaps we need another look.

Cairo, Egypt

Capetown, South Africa

City of Dares Salaam, Tanzania

The equator passes through Sao Tomes Island, West Africa

Golf Course, South Africa

Housing in Accra, Ghana

Kampala, Uganda

Khartoum, Sudan

Obudu resort, Nigeria

Tunisia

Humor For the Elite --

When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg.

A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one with everything”.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.”

Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.

STAYING YOUNG, part 2

I’ll stick with what I said about part 1 -- A Good Way To Keep From Getting Old

 

Humor --

 TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT

It happened on an automotive call-in show.  One caller asked if there was a device that could tell the driver if he was following too close -- perhaps some kind of radar mechanism.  “Oh, yes,” said the automotive expert, “I have one of those.  My wife.”


A COUPLE OF WEDDINGS

The Invisible Man and Invisible Woman got married. They eventually had children, but they weren't much to look at.

Two antennas got married. The wedding was so-so, but the reception was great!