A VISIT TO EGYPT

Surely you recognize this famous landmark as the Great Sphinx located in Giza, Egypt.

I have seen the head many times, but I had not realized that the body was that of a lion.

 I learned from a video that most sphinxs have the body of a human, and the head of an animal. (However, that’s not what Wikipedia says.  In Greek tradition, they say, it has the haunches of a lion, the wings of a great bird, and the face of a woman.)  Scientists and others have been trying to figure out who the head of the Great Sphinx represented.

In their search for answers, artists were employed to illustrate what they believed the Sphinx looked like when first built. Here are a few examples:

Humor – –

MANY N0N-LIVING THINGS  HAVE A GENDER

A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.

A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be Male, didn't you? But consider this: It gives a man
pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!

UNUSUAL ANIMALS, part 2

Here are more creatures in what some may consider unusual situations.

Now when you see what you want, then that you click the shutter.

 No, I'm not his mother; just the babysitter.

 I see you! Now go away!

 Is that all I get for lunch?

 Just be sure to clean up this mess when you are done.

 A handy place to take a nap.

Mine.  Mine!  ( Note that the small bird's feet are completely off the ground.)

  Will you marry me?

Fun --

THE NEW ALPHABET

A is for Apple, and B is for Boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before Beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now A’s for arthritis;  B's the bad back,
C is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
P for prescription's, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!

U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.

Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have--in my mind.
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
and I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!.

QUITE A CONTRAST

Would you believe that this guy ...

and this guy ...











are the same person as this guy?

Meet Tim Lincecum, ace pitcher for the San Francisco Giants baseball team.  He had been noted for his long, messy hair.  Then a few days ago he decided to get a haircut.  When I first saw his picture in the paper, I did not recognize him!  It wasn’t until I read the story that I realized who that was.  His teammates say he looks like Buddy Holly.  He doesn’t really need glasses.  These are non-prescription, and just for show.  As long as his pitching arm remains strong!


WHY, WHY, WHY?

~~ Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have
materialized?

~~ Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

~~ How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

~~ Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

~~ How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

SIMPLY ASTONISHING

I find it astonishing the number of different acts, positions, and poses that various animals will take. Take a look at the following to see what I mean – –

 Hey, Ma, slow down!

 Well, somebody has to feed me!

 You gonna play wif me?

 I told you! Get off my back!

 You wanna swim with me?

 This is the last time I'm going to scratch your neck.

 I have no idea what this thing is. Any suggestions?

 Nothing like a good cold drink.

BURMA SHAVE ROAD SIGNS

Trains don't wander all over the map
'cause nobody sits in the engineer's lap
Burma Shave

She kissed the hairbrush by mistake
She thought it was her husband Jake
Burma Shave

Don't lose your head to gain a minute
You need your head your brains are in it
Burma  Shave

Drove too long
Driver snoozing
What happened next is not amusing
Burma Shave

Brother speeder let's rehearse
All together
Good morning, nurse
Burma Shave

THE ISLE OF CAPRI

I had to do a bit of research here.  Tyrrhenian Sea? Never heard of it. Sorrentine Peninsula? Well, that’s slightly familiar.  The peninsula gets its name from the town of Sorrento.  And the Tyrrhenian Sea is off the west coast of Italy. A major nearby city is Naples.


Capri is a small 4 square mile island in the Tyrrhenian Sea off the Sorrentine Peninsula, on the south side of the Gulf of Naples in the Campania region of Italy. The main town Capri on the island shares the name. It has been a resort since the time of the Roman Republic.

 

WARNING LABELS

As heard on a recent news broadcast.

Label on a kitchen knife:  Warning - if knife falls, do not attempt  to catch.

Printed on a napkin depicting the area around Hilton Head, North Carolina - Warning:  Not for navigational use.

Label on an industrial strength heater, used to soften up things in the construction trade, and which can generate temperatures over a thousand degrees - Warning:  Do not use to dry hair.

PEPPER WITH SALT AND PEPPER

A friend whom I hadn’t seen in some months came to visit the other day.  She is taking a photography class, and had brought her camera, so she took these shots which she shared with me.  Pepper photographs really well.
Thanks, Laura!

Yeah, that's me (I).  Not my better side.

Pepper always looks good.  At least I'm trying to smile.

Ah, she finally got a smile out of me.  That's my fine feathered friend on my shoulder.

There! That's a pretty pose.  It even looks like she is smiling.

On the other hand, she is sitting on top of my binders where she doesn't belong.

Fun --

IT’S SAID…

~ “Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.”
(Swedish proverb)

~ “Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.”
(Scottish saying)

~ It takes a person who is wide awake to make his dreams come true.”
(Roger Babson)

~ It is sometimes said, “We eat too much because of what’s eating us.”

A TEST -- JUST FOR FUN

Okay, everyone, time to take the Dessert Test. If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which would you choose? (Sorry, you can only pick one.) Pick your dessert, then look to see what psychiatrists think about you.

1. Angel Food Cake
2. Brownies
3. Lemon Meringue
4. Vanilla cake with Chocolate Icing
5. Strawberry Short Cake
6. Chocolate on Chocolate
7. Ice Cream
8. Carrot Cake


DESSERT TEST MEANINGS

1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE -- Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

2. BROWNIES -- You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons.  When tempers flare up you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

3. LEMON MERINGUE -- Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.

4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.

5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE -- Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. Can be very emotional.

6. CHOCOLATE ON CHOCOLATE -- Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

7. ICE CREAM -- You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

CARROT CAKE -- You are a very fun loving person,  who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

***

Frankly, I think this is a bunch of baloney, but it is a bit of fun. I like too many of those desserts.