The following are photos from National Geographic. Indeed, they are most graphic! Some are beautiful, some calming, some violent.
In that first one, I think someone is rock climbing, but I'm not sure.
Humor --
RETIREMENT GOLF
Arthur is 90 years old, and has played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking very downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad, that when I've hit the ball, I can't see where it goes."
His wife sympathizes and says, "Why don't you take my brother with you, and give it one more try?"
"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother is 97, and won’t be able to help."
"He may be a 97," she says, "but his eyesight is perfect."
So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law, tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law, "Did you see where the ball went?"
"Of course I did!" says brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight!"
“So, where did it go then?"
There is a long pause before the bother–in-law replies, “I don't remember."
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
I CAN BEARLY STAND IT!
In case you were wondering, my internet has been down since Saturday morning. The technician just left as I was having dinner Monday evening.
So I have a few items backed up here. My next posting, barring another calamity, will be Wednesday morning.
This was sent to me by my niece Brenda. Thank you, Brenda
Humor -
KIDS ON ELECTIONS (Some of these are startling true!)
Calling a person a runner-up is the polite way of saying you lost.
The difference between a king and a president is that a king is the son of his father but a president is not.
What I learned about elections is that we aren't really getting to elect the president. It is some people in a college who get to. I have not decided what to do about it yet but I am not going to just sit around.
It is possible to get the majority of electoral votes without getting the majority of popular votes. Anyone who can ever understand how this works gets to be president.
Some of our presidents never did much else and are famous only because they became president.
The more I think about trying to run for president the less I think of it.
So I have a few items backed up here. My next posting, barring another calamity, will be Wednesday morning.
This was sent to me by my niece Brenda. Thank you, Brenda
Worried about squirrels getting into your bird feeder??
What is that line MADE of??
Humor -
KIDS ON ELECTIONS (Some of these are startling true!)
Calling a person a runner-up is the polite way of saying you lost.
The difference between a king and a president is that a king is the son of his father but a president is not.
What I learned about elections is that we aren't really getting to elect the president. It is some people in a college who get to. I have not decided what to do about it yet but I am not going to just sit around.
It is possible to get the majority of electoral votes without getting the majority of popular votes. Anyone who can ever understand how this works gets to be president.
Some of our presidents never did much else and are famous only because they became president.
The more I think about trying to run for president the less I think of it.
Friday, June 17, 2011
CATS
Quite a variety here. Anyone know what the second one is?
Fun -
Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate!
CLEVER KIDS
At a high school in Montana a group of high schoolers played a prank on the school. They let three goats loose in the schoolyard. Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2, and 4. Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3.
Bobcat
Cub
Just waiting for Halloween.
I'm just waiting for someone to pick me up.
Leopards
So! Where's my champagne?
Lion cubs
Sitten' kitten
Canadian lynx
Piggyback
As Ogden Nash once said, "When called by a panther, don't anther"
Fun -
Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate!
CLEVER KIDS
At a high school in Montana a group of high schoolers played a prank on the school. They let three goats loose in the schoolyard. Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2, and 4. Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
SENSE OF HUMOR NEEDED ...
by the troops overseas in order to retain sanity.
Humor --
ADVERTISEMENTS
FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.
Humor --
ADVERTISEMENTS
FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
PARK FLOWERS, CONCLUDED..
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
ANGRY MAMA
One angry mama: Pennsylvania Game Commission officer Doug Dunkerley shields himself from a mother peregrine falcon as a fellow officer retrieves her young chicks from their nest on the ledge of the 40th floor of the University of Pittsburgh's Cathedral of Learning. The chicks were given a check-up, banded and returned to the nest.
Humor -
This isn’t new, but I think it’s funny.
AUTOS vs COMPUTERS
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on...
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that get 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive--but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Humor -
This isn’t new, but I think it’s funny.
AUTOS vs COMPUTERS
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on...
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that get 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive--but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Monday, June 13, 2011
DESPITE THE RAIN
... and all our complaining about the January weather in June, the flowers in our park decided to come forth anyway. See for yourself.
Humor -
For sale by owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything.
***
The most popular labor saving device today is money.
***
If it weren’t for venetian blinds, it would be curtains for all of us.
***
It's against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas.
Humor -
For sale by owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything.
***
The most popular labor saving device today is money.
***
If it weren’t for venetian blinds, it would be curtains for all of us.
***
It's against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas.
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