Tuesday, June 23, 2009

DON’T MAKE A SPECTACLE OF YOURSELF

When I first arrived at Fort Ord, I was issued one pair of G.I. glasses, that is, glasses with steel rims. Very chic! By the end of basic training, as previously described, we each received our army job numbers (MOS), and I knew I was to be a company clerk -- somewhere. The next step was to receive orders -- where we were to be assigned. As expected, I received orders for the Far East. Then it was a matter of going through processing for shipment overseas. (No, they didn’t send us Parcel Post).

As I went through the line, at one point I was asked if I had two pair of G.I.glasses. No, Sir, I only have this one pair I’m wearing. At which point they yanked me off orders, and told to go back to my basic company, wait for the second pair, at which time I would be back on orders for the Far East.

So I trudged back to my now empty basic company, save for the trainers (derisively known as RA’s - regular army). For some days I sat in the Supply Room with the Supply Sergeant, swapping stories. Then one day I had notice that my second pair of glasses were in, and I picked them up. A day or two later, there I was in the Supply Room when a call came over the squawk box, “Meyer, you’re wanted in the Orderly Room”.
“Yes, Sir.” The Orderly Room was right across the street, so I trotted around, and went in.
“Yes, Sir?”
“ Meyer, you’re wanted on the telephone.” (The thought that ran through my head: me? li’l ol’ private meyer? wanted on the phone?) I picked up the phone: “Private Meyer, Sir.” (Technically speaking we were supposed to say ‘sir’ only to commissioned officers, but at that point EVERYBODY was ‘sir’.)

“Meyer, we understand you’ve received your second pair of G.I.glasses.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“You can go back on FECOM orders, and get your 15 days leave, or you can be assigned to Fort Lawton, Washington immediately without the leave.”

Well I can tell you that was a hard decision to make. I took a long time mulling that over -- at least a tenth of a second.

“I’ll take the Fort Lawton assignment, Sir.”

When I told this story to my son Cliff, who had spent 4 years in the army, he gave me a startled look, and exclaimed, “You mean they gave you a CHOICE?

Yeah. Li’l ol’ me - given a choice. Unheard of! I knew I would get my leave SOME time. As it was, they gave me train tickets into San Francisco, and then from S.F. up to Seattle. I had three days to get to Fort Lawton, and they gave me three days worth of meal tickets. As it was, when I arrived in San Francisco, I walked down into the station, cashed in my train tickets, went around to Western Airlines and bought an airline ticket to Seattle for two days later, and stayed home for the two extra days. Then when I arrived on post, I checked in and cashed in my meal tickets. I think I came out ahead on the deal. Never did get overseas. With my two pair of G.I. glasses.

Humor time:













Monday, June 22, 2009

Nuthin' but fun

This has been a busy medical day, with which I will not bore you.
Instead let's have some fun.

APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING 
A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong 
number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After 50, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!!
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.



























Now this video is really funny!







Saturday, June 20, 2009

A Tale of Two Cockies

A Story of Love, Compassion, Friendship & Loyalty

About eight years ago a wild Australian Sulphur Crested Cockatoo flew into a car and broke its wing. The motorist took it to the Vet in Nerang, Queensland, who had to amputate the wing. We adopted her - for which we needed a National Parks and Wildlife permit - and kept her in a cage outside where she was often visited by wild Cockatoos. One of the things that impressed us was how she would push lettuce leaves through the bars of the cage, offering food to visitors.

Last Sunday 23 July 2006, she again had a visitor.







As usual he spent a lot of time sitting on the cage with a tamper proof latch.



















There was a lot of talking and grooming. A bloke has to look presentable when courting a bird!

















Things got interesting when he approached the front door. . .

















The clever fellow figured out how to undo the tamper proof latch!












He opened the door for a lot of mutual grooming and food sharing...


















Oooh that's nice! Scratch a bit more on that side, dear...

















He was not shy to get into the cage and would go in and out a number of times.
















They mated! We are looking forward to beautiful baby cockatoos. Will keep you posted.














Later on, the whole extended family came visiting but the special mate was back every day so far.










We leave the door open during the day but if we forget, it doesn't matter - cockatoos have intelligence that rival primates. Because she has only one wing, she stays inside or just sits on top. Guess what happened next...







The Babies

At first it seemed as though he was annoyed because she did not fly off with him and he would squawk a lot. He soon came to understand that she could not fly so he just stayed. However, she was no longer returning to her cage. The two of them would stay in the trees in our garden and because the yard is well fenced, they were safe from dogs but the neighbour's cat is not kept indoors at night and we often have to chase it away. Chances are the cat would come off second best in a confrontation with a Cockatoo but at night cats remain a danger because they could stalk a sleeping bird on the ground.






Cockatoos make their nests in hollow logs but we noticed the male hard at work digging a hole under a clump of Lilly Pilly trees. We put down a hollow log for them but they just ignored us. The nest he dug was a hole with a short tunnel leading off to where she laid her eggs. Once there were eggs in the nest, the male became extremely aggressive. You better not get near the nest or he will take chunks of flesh from your foot. It was difficult to take these pictures because I literally had to steal them while running away from the male.













We kept a vigil to see how things were progressing. They took turns incubating the eggs and covering the tunnel. After about three weeks, the eggs hatched. Have a careful look at this picture and try to spot the bit of yellow fluff.









Whenever Mum & Dad Cockatoo leave the nest, we try to get a look but you have to do it while running because Dad Cockatoo is chasing you!














Second lap running around the Lilly Pilly trees!








Well, I hope his mother thinks he is pretty and eventually I might think so too but at the moment, both of them just look like pink balls with a bit of yellow fluff.






They are growing fast and if the Dad allows me, I'll try to get some more pictures as they grow up and share with you.

And humor, too:
WELL PLANNED

Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school, Did you manage to live a well planned life? " " Yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm married to an undertaker."

Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"

"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

Friday, June 19, 2009

THE STARRY SKIES


On a clear night we can gaze at the starry skies and wonder at its beauty. If we have a small telescope, we can see even more detail. But our view of the heavens is limited by the earth’s atmosphere.

The Hubble Space Telescope is a robotic telescope located on the outer edge of our atmosphere. It was named as a tribute to Edwin Hubble, and was launched into space on April 24, 1990. These are just a few of the magnificent wonders photographed by the Hubble, unseen by the naked eye. Enjoy!







M42: Orion Nebula














M57: Ring Nebula






Here is the Galaxy Hat, also called M 104 in the Messier catalog, distance of about 28 million light-years it is considered the best photograph taken by Hubble.









Nebula MZ3, called Fourmi, between 3000 and 6000 light years















Eskimo Nebula NGC 2392 located 5000 light years












The impressive Nebula Cat's Eye















The Hourglass Nebula located 8000 light years away, a beautiful nebula with a narrowing in its central part.







Two swirling galaxies, the NGC 2207 and IC 2163 located 114 million light-years.














NGC 2237: The Rosette Nebula









And after all that, you want something funny? Too bad I don't have an astronomy joke.
Well, let's see.

I love carbs, but they don't like me;
Look at my thighs, so all can see--
A curse that comes from too much pie
Snack cakes, sweet tea, ham on rye.

Go to the gym four times per week,
Dance class twice, stay with beat,
Bend knees, side step, back once more,
Hang tough, fall down, hit the floor.

Jump rope, bike hard, swim ten laps
Push up, pull back, walk real fast.
Lean, mean shape and abs of steel
Less food in, needs good strong will.

Now, for you, this tale is done;
Look out, bake shop, here we come!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

PICK A NUMBER -- ANY NUMBER

Sorry I'm late with this. Had trouble getting online.

ARMY ADVENTURES - Fort Ord #3

As I’d mentioned previously, after my hospitalization, I was assigned to an 8 weeks basic training company. We were told that by the last week of training, we would either receive a heavy weapons MOS (that’s a number describing the job trained for), or, failing that, a light weapons number. None of us were delighted with the notion of going to Korea, but heavy weapons was preferred, because light (presumably) would be in the very front lines. And we knew which number was which.

So in the last week, there was posted on the side of the Orderly Room all the trainee names with corresponding MOS number. There was quite a crowd around the posting when I managed to get there, so I had to wait, and then try to squeeeeze my way in. Scanned down the list for my name, and then across to the number. Now at this late date I do not remember the numbers, so I’m making up my own. Let’s say heavy weapons was 5401, and light weapons was 5515. As I scanned down the list, I was seeing 5401’s and 5515’s. Got to my name -- 4050. (Made up number). 4050? What on earth is that? So I went into the Orderly Room and asked the company clerk, “What’s a 4050?” He looked at me blankly, and finally said, “I dunno.” Interesting. Since he was a company clerk, HE was a 4050. Bright fellow. At any rate, I think my bum knee was doing its job. I was to be a company clerk. I did have typing skills, and office experience. My guess is that they were not going to put me in the front lines with a bum knee, and the chance to shoot one of our own. Even if they were sending me to the Far East. The next step was to receive orders. Most all of us expected orders for FECOM -- Far East Command. And that likely meant Korea, though some lucky souls might end up in Japan. We were told that following the end of training, we would be receiving 15 days leave before departure to wherever. We all looked forward to THAT!

Next time -- army glasses, and how things get screwed up.

Humor: funny signs










































Tuesday, June 16, 2009

LOOK-A-LIKES

Following my post of the dog-and-cat video rip-em-up, one comment wondered what the pet OWNERS were like. This evolved into a brief email exchange that eventually came around to pet owners who look like their pets. That led to my commenter sending me a URL showing a number of owner/pet look alikes. Well, why not? I’m happy to bring you these pairings for your own amusement and edification. Enjoy!












































































Now this last one is a real dandy. I defy you to tell the owner from the pet!











Please note: Today is Tuesday, June 16. My next post will be on Thursday.

Okay, humor :

Q: Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?
A: Because she wanted to mail a litter.

Q: Why does a tiger have stripes?
A: So he won't be spotted.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them!

Q: What do you call nervous insects?
A: Jitterbugs!

Q: Why did the farmer call his pig "Ink"?
A: Because it was always running out of the pen.

Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock.

Q: Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
A: It was out of odor.