BEAUTIFUL CARPET

The following is courtesy of Patricia E:

This beautiful "carpet" is created every year in the Grand Place in Brussels , all fresh flowers - Begonias. Breathtaking sight. So much beauty in this world and the computer enables all to enjoy it..









Humor -

Q & A at school:

Q. Name one measure that can be put into place to avoid river flooding in times of excessive rainfall (e.g. in Mississippi).
A. Flooding in such areas as the Mississippi may be avoided by placing a number of big dames into the river.

Q. Explain the phrase ‘free press’.
A. When your mum irons trousers for you.

Q. Joanna works in an office. Her computer is a stand-alone system. What is a stand-alone system?
A. It doesn’t come with a chair.

Q. Name six animals that live specifically in the Arctic.
A. Two polar bears and three, uh, no, four seals.

Q. Name the wife of Orpheus, whom he attempted to save from the underworld.
A. Mrs. Orpheus.

Q. What is the meaning of the word ‘varicose’?
A. Close by

DEMENTIA QUIZ

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time--answer all of them immediately.

First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana 2. Nene 3. Nini 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Bonus Question: A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does he indicate what he wants?






DEMENTIA ANSWERS

Answer to First Question: If you answered that you are first, you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Answer to Second Question: If you answered that you are second to last, you are wrong. How can you overtake the LAST person?

Answer to Third Question: Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Answer to Fourth Question: Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

Answer to Bonus Question: He just has to open his mouth and ask... It's really very simple.

BUSY, BUSY

Yes, today was a very busy day. First my financial adviser dropped by, and we discussed a number of things. Then Cliff and I had a lot of errands to run, and we just got back.

One of the stops had to do with something I believe I've mentioned previously. My current bank, just down the street, is being sold to another bank which is closing this branch. I wanted to stop in and discuss with them some banking items of interest. One had to do with the type of checking account would be best for me -- they have several different types. The one that the young lady pointed out looked pretty good to me, so she asked me, "Are you over 55?" "I'll be 80 on my next birthday," said I, smiling. "Really? You look only 40."

Um, yeah. Of course.

Other humor -

A very busy boss placed the following ad in the local newspaper: Local photocopy shop looking for someone with reproductive experience.

***
A youth league soccer coach didn’t much care for the refereeing, and said as much to the referee. Fed up, the ref threatened the coach with a penalty. He calmed down, but an older woman in the stands took up where the coach had left off. “You’d better control your sideline,” the ref warned the coach. The coach turned to the woman, and yelled, “Knock it off, Mom!”

TRAVELERS THREE

Kitty is perhaps the most adventurous cat in the world. She is
the beloved cat pet of a French couple/explorers, Guillaume and
Laetitia, who are on a mission to travel from Miami , US, to
Ushuaia, Argentina, purely on foot. At this writing they are currently
in Columbia, heading south.

On our way.

Well, here we all are!

I can find the most comfortable places.

Got my own umbrella, too!

This is pretty comfy.

Traveling first class

Kitty enjoys the trip as much as the couple. She often climbs on the
shoulder of her daddy to get a good look at every new scenery. She
does not seem to be shy or bashful about meeting new people and
visiting new places. If we have an award for the most adventurous
cat in the world, I’d said Kitty is purr-fect for it.

Got my own hat.

Cat nap.

Ah, the comforts of travel!

Fun -

From church bulletins:

~ Wednesday, the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

~ Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.

PICK ME UP! PICK ME UP!!

Most of the time when I'm headed from the dining room back to the den, Pepper wants to ride along on my walker. If I think about it, before I stand up, I'll say something like, "You wanna come with me?" And she will start wiggling and waggling, practically dancing up and down, waiting for me to put my hand down so she can jump on. That works when I'm sitting. But if I'm standing, as when I come in from the living room, she starts her figure eights around me and the walker, and I really have no desire to step on her. Would make a heck of a mess on the carpet. "No, I'm not picking you up," I tell her. It's not that I don't want to, nor is it because I can't bend down. It's getting back to an upright position that worries me. But Pepper is one smart little bird. When I tell her "No," now she runs over to her ladder, climbs up, and onto the stool. It's easy for me to get her from there. I don't want to hear one word about bird brains.

Humor -

(speaking of smarts)

A mother was driving her three year old daughter to day care before going to work when she noticed a family of dead raccoons on the road. She sped quickly past hoping her daughter wouldn’t notice. No such luck.
“Mommy, what was that?”
“Some wood must have fallen from a truck,” she fibbed.
“Oh, is that what killed all those raccoons?”

THE ALTOS ...

Like the Sopranos, only lower. That was the only description available for the play that Cliff and I went to see last weekend. Though I'd never seen the TV series, I somehow knew that that had been about a Mafia gang. So I wasn't sure what to expect -- a grisly Mafia tale, or maybe a spoof.

It was a nice sunny, warm afternoon that day, and several of the actors were outside meeting the patrons. "Glad you could make it to my uncle Tony's funeral," was Chris Altos' typical greeting. He and I got into a discussion -- he eyed me sitting in my scooter -- "You shua you aint heer to blow up da joint?" I assured him I wasn't. He may have believed me. I asked how his uncle died. Chris said Tony was blown up in his SUV, and the explosion was so big that only bits and pieces of Uncle Tony were left. My immediate suspicion was that dear Uncle Tony wasn't dead, but I kept this conclusion to myself. This did turn out to be a spoof -- quite funny, actually. But I'm not giving anything away in case this gem turns up in your neighborhood sometime in the future. Shua.

Humor --

"What's wrong?" a teacher asked one of her young students. He was at his desk, looking as though he were about to burst into tears. "M-m-my grandfather," he stammered. "Gone away." "Sorry," said the teacher, "but he's in a wonderful place now. Do you know where that is?" "Yes," he said, "he's in prison."

Now I swear I did not choose that joke to go with the posting, but it does seem somewhat appropriate, no?

I don't post on Sundays, so I'll see you all on Monday.

WRONG NUMBER

Dr. M, my M.D. had once told me that the best way to reach him was not by calling the office, but by sending him an email. That has proved to work quite well for me.

Well, there are minor exceptions. I’d been feeling rather listless lately, so when my chiropractor asked me how I felt, I told him. A quick perusal by him and he determined that I had a case of bronchitis, and should ask my doctor for an antibiotic. So I emailed Dr. M. explaining the situation, and did he want to see me, or just call it in to my favorite pharmacy? He emailed back saying “Either way”, so I asked him to call it in. Much later that day I called the pharmacy to ask if they had my prescription ready. What prescription? Cliff and I were out running errands, so using my cell phone, I called the office to find out what was going on. “The doctor is busy with patients,” was the only answer they would (or could) give me, so since we wouldn’t be home for a while, I gave my cell phone number, and asked them to call when they knew something. They never called.

The next morning the pharmacy phoned to say they had the prescription. Thank you very much. Later in the day Cliff went to pick it up for me.

I was sitting in my favorite lounge chair (I’ve only got one, so that has to be the favorite) when my cell phone rang. That is a bit unusual since very few people have the number. A vaguely familiar voice said something I did not understand, so I said, “What number are you calling?” and he reeled off my cell phone number. “Is this Economed Pharmacy?” asked the voice, which I suddenly recognized. Laughing, I said, “No, Jerry, this is Don Meyer.” It was Dr. M. “Oh,” says he, “I was trying to reach the pharmacy to check on your prescription.” “Well, by this time, Cliff has picked it up. I hope!” I replied. “Oh, okay. Bye”

As Shakespeare once said, “All’s well that ends well.”

Humor -

~ Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

~ Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

~ For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

More beautiful cacti

Thought you might appreciate more of these lovely cacti.
Enjoy!





























Fun -

OLYMPIC GAMES QUERIES

Vancouver hosted the 2010 Winter Olympics, and these are some questions people from all over the world are reported to have directed to Canada. Snopes says the questions have been around since 2000--and obviously, the answers are a joke. Regardless, there are some good chuckles here…

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto. Can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles. Take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton, and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?


Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your north...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.


Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunters/gatherers. Milk is illegal.


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a “moose”. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

CLINK, CHUNK, BONK, etc.

Back on April 14 I talked about going to a neurologist to determine if I should drop a particular medication. The mutual decision was "No", but the neurologist still wanted me to get an MRI of my head. To determine if there was anything in there, I suppose.

Well, today was the day, and I must say it was quite an ordeal. I've had CT scans, which I endured, and while the equipment is somewhat similar, the experience was ... well, ...not similar. For one thing they placed some gadget over my face, so that when my nose itched, I couldn't scratch. Ok, I endured that. But Good Grief, Charlie Brown, was this thing NOISY! There was a constant BANG, BANG, BANG, to which was added Clink, clink, clink, clink, followed by bong, bong, bong, interspersed with chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk, grk, grk, grk, clack, clack, glk, glk, glk. Sounded like an out-of-tune marimba band. I finally decided that the equipment was a cross betsween a CIA torture unit, and a badly managed sound effects studio. I lived through it.

Howzabout sumpin' funny -

This is the story about the woman who was born and grew up in a small town. (Hope I haven't told this one before.) She lived there all her life. Went to the same church all her life. But as she grew older, she was not always able to make it to church, so the minister would come to visit her now and then. On this particular occasion, when the woman was really up there in years, the minister said to her, "You know, you're at that time of life when you should be thinking about the Hereafter." "Oh, I do, Reverend, I do" exclaimed the lady. "Whenever I go into a room, I think to myself, 'What am I here after' "

MORE WEIRD BUILDINGS

Now if you thought the last batch of buildings were strange, wait 'til you get a load of these. Makes one wonder if the architect was drunk, or insane, or maybe the camera was out of focus, or ...




























Humor -

MEN/WOMEN COMPARISONS

NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

QUIZ TIME

What is the difference in these two photos of Pepper. Yes, it's the same bird, and, no, the answer is not in the pose. Answer below.















Humor -

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

QUIZ ANSWER:

Of course you saw it. The tail! Pep had twin tail feathers, one of which was broken. So of course she lost the good one.
And her tail end looked something like this:

xxxxxxx
x
x
x
x
x

For the time being we have renamed her Miss Bobtail.

AMAZING CACTI

I received these without any explanation. I suppose we are just meant to enjoy them. You may be able to see the names in one corner. I typed a few into Google, and it appears that they are all cacti flowers. Amazing!

































FUNNY -

I sowwy.

So that's how it happens!