THE DRUNKEN DUCK

From FIREBIRD by Janice Graham

The following is taken from a novel, but has nothing to do with the story line. I had read the story, and was intrigued and amused by the explanation. A gentleman comes to the Drunken Duck Inn in southern England. The driver who picks him up at the train station tells the gentleman how the inn came to have its name. All you knitters, please note what happens near the end.

“It had come by its name when Victoria was on the throne, when the landlady had opened her door one Christmas morning and found three ducks lying dead on her doorstep. She thought it provident and awoke her young daughters to help her pluck the ducks for a grand Christmas dinner. The creatures were almost plucked bare when one of the ducks lifted its head and, in a swift retaliatory blow, bit the younger daughter on the wrist. Terrified, the little girl flung the duck into the air, and it came down, featherless and infuriated, into the arms of her mother. It seems the ducks had wandered into a pool of beer leaked from a broken barrel and they had paddled and drunk their way to near death. Once she got over her disappointment at not having roast duck for Christmas, the landlady, distressed at the sight of the naked ducks, set about knitting sweaters for them until their plumage grew back. The ducks enjoyed immunity after the incident, and died of old age.”

And you want even more humor?

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is to simply be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.