TV AND MOVIES

I subscribe to Netflix movies, and the other night I watched a movie from the mid 90’s, The American President, starring Michael Douglas and Annette Bening. I hadn’t seen it in many years, but remembered it as something I had enjoyed. This time I found it with more humor than I had remembered, but what really surprised me was how much it looked and felt like the TVseries, West Wing.

Well, perhaps that should not have surprised me. The screen play for The American President was written by the same fellow who created West Wing, Aaron Sorkin. In fact there is one scene in West Wing that was very similar to one in the movie where the president is in the War Room, and something is said about a “proportional response”. And the president in each asks sarcastically about an UNproportional response. Must have been on Sorkin’s mind.

But the other thing that surprised me was that Martin Sheen, who was the president on West Wing, was Chief of Staff in the movie.

Humor -

HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES

Put 400 bricks in a closed room. Put your new employees in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after six hours. Then analyze the situation:

a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.

b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.

c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, but yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.

k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.

l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Government.

GREAT TIPS FOR 2010

We are pleased to bring you these Great Tips for the coming year. We are sure that you will find them most helpful.

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE

AIM FOR GREATER HEIGHTS

EXERCISE TO MAINTAIN GOOD HEALTH

STAY FOCUSED ON YOUR JOB

ALWAYS TAKE TIME TO SMILE

REST AND RELAX

Humor -

FIRST GRADE WISDOM

(Whether this story is true or not, the answers are funn—ee!)

A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are 1st graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

Don't change horses
....................................until they stop running.

Strike while the .........................bug is close.

It's always darkest before....Daylight Saving Time.

Never underestimate the power of
.............................. termites.

You can lead a horse to water but .............. how?

Don't bite the hand that .................... looks dirty.

No news is....................................... impossible.

A miss is as good as a ................................ Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new ................. math.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll ............ stink in the morning.

Love all, trust...............................................me.

The pen is mightier than the........................pigs.

An idle mind is................. the best way to relax.

Where there's smoke there's ............... pollution.

Happy is the bride who........ gets all the presents.

A penny saved is ................................. not much.

Two's company, three's ............... the Musketeers.

Don't put off till tomorrow what.......... you put on
to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and............................ you have to blow your nose.

There are none so blind as .............Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not................ spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed ............................. get new batteries.

You get out of something only what you
.......................................see in the picture on the box.

When the blind lead the blind .............. get out of the way.

And the WINNER!

Better late than.............................. pregnant.

A FEAST FOR A KING...

and that was just the “nibbles” we had for lunch! “Nibbles”, indeed! There was enough variety of food and drink to serve as a dinner, so far as I was concerned. Including those big, fat jumbo prawns that I so love.

As I’d mentioned, Cliff and I were invited to friends for Thanksgiving. They’d suggested we arrive before noon, which we did. Enjoyed the “nibbles” and watched the dog show, which is a standard item with this family on Thanksgiving. Then we watched the Dallas Cowboys make turkey hash of the Oakland (Awkward?) Raiders. And THEN we had the turkey dinner. No, not turducken, but delicious roast turkey with all the trimmings. And three kinds of dessert! One of the guests had brought a buttermilk pie, which turned out to be quite delicious.

A good time was had (burp) by all.

I may have shown this video before, but it was sent to me a few days ago, and if it is not funny, it sure looks like a lot of fun:

Happy Thanksgiving!

‘TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING,
BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP.
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS,
I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.

THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED -
THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE,
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION
WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT.
TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION,
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR,
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.

I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY,
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....
HAPPY EATING TO ALL - PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.

MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY,
MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP.
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS.
MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL

HOLIDAY SEASON

On Thursday, Turkey Day, as some call it, Cliff And I are invited to friends for dinner. But they want us to show up early -- noonish -- to watch the dog show (and ruin our appetite by noshing on nibbles). Then, if they serve what they had last year, we will be getting, not turkey, but turducken. Yes, that is precisely what you think it is.

On the first Saturday in December the park owners serve a Christmas dinner, along with a live band for dancing, and of course all the conversations that go on amongst the residents.

Then 8 days later the park managers have what they call the Tree Trimming party. The first time they had this a few years ago, everyone brought an ornament to put on the tree. We were also to bring an unwrapped gift for a needy youngster. These were given to the Mountain View Police Department for their Gifts for Kids program. And we will be doing that again this year.

It is indeed the holiday season!

Fun -

Don't know if these are actual headlines, but could be:

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

SHOW AND DINNER and ...

Cliff and I treated ourselves yesterday (Sunday). In the afternoon we attended a stage play at Foothill College. They were presenting the stage version of what I had remembered from many years ago as a very funny movie -- My Sister Eileen. This turned out to be quite an outstanding performance -- very well cast, very well acted, and the stage set was pretty much as I remembered it, including the “genuine imitation fireplace”.

Then we headed down to Chef Chu’s, our favorite Chinese restaurant. We were both hungry, and we, um, stuffed ourselves. Quite delicious. Then home, where we both flaked out and took naps. Quite a pleasant ending to a most pleasant day!

A bit of fun -

You are never completely worthless. You can always serve as a bad example.

And I thought this was clever:

How to make pumpkin pie

WEIRD STATUES

Once again I have been sent some fascinating photos. And, no, I don't know how to get rid of this underscore. Enjoy.

The Magic Tap

It appears to float in the sky with an endless supply of water.
Actually there is a pipe hidden in the stream of water.
Location: Aqualand, Cadiz

La Trobe
Location: Melbourne

The Hanging Rhino
Location: Potsdam

Man at work
Rub its nose,and you will have good fortune. Many people must believe that
for the nose looks badly rubbed.
Location: Bratislava

De Vaartkapoen

A young rebel topplesover a policeman
Location: Brussels, Belgium

Melting Cow

Location: Budapest

Eating a biscuit together

Location: Seoul, Korea

Los Angeles
A true to life art work in fron of Ernst &Young Building
Location: Los Angeles, California

Knotted Legs Running

Location: Kanazawa, Japan

Location: Salt Lake City, Utah

Location: Dundee, Scotland

Location: CapeTown, South Africa

Location: Nice, France

And you want humor, too?

THE SCENE; An army training camp. A voice comes over the loud speaker system:
For all regular army personnel, dinner will be at 1700 hours.
For the new arrivals, dinner will be at 5 p.m.
For the new second lieutenants, when the little hand is on the 5 ...

SUBSCRIPTION

I subscribe to BIRDTALK magazine, which is mostly about members of the parrot family. A recent issue featured Caiques (pronounced "Kye-eek"), and I was so intrigued that I went online to learn more. The first three photos I scanned into my computer; the others I found at various websites.

These birds are about a third bigger than Pepper, my cockatiel, and they come from South America. They love to play, and like other members of the parrot family, they love to chew on things. Like leather, wood and paper. They have very strong legs, and may hang upside down from a perch.

They are funny, outgoing, fearless, acrobatic, rambunctious and lovable. You can see them in action simply by going to Google, and typing 'caique videos'. There are a number of examples, and I especially recommend the one near the top labeled bunny hop. Please do enjoy!















































































































Humor -

A pastor was concerned that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church. Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them on their away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to- door selling efforts the following Sunday.

The following Sunday, the minister asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?" Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church." "Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."

Turning to Paul, "Well Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the church last week?" Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied,"I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected." The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "So Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?" Louie just nodded.

"That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are the professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could." "Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie." Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered. Impatiently, Paul and Jack interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was, w-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or---wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"

We ain't lion!

The four passengers in the Jeep must feel a whisker away from death as a lion jumps up on the hood for lunch. But that’s part of the attraction! The Jeep is a new zoo exhibit that allows visitors to get incredibly close to the lions.


The astonished tourists are just inches away from the lion’s jaws at the Werribee Open Range Zoo in Victoria, Australia.

The lion tucks into his food as the tourists look on.




It makes for an exhilarating experience, according to Robyn and Davin Price, both 34, who visited the Werribee Open Range Zoo with their children Ariel, five, Eden, three, and baby Evie. Mrs. Price said, “It was absolutely amazing!” Her husband added, “I’m sure the lions thought our children were their dessert!”

Though the zoo has been open since 2006, the male lions were just recently added -- leading to some startling photo opportunities.


A pause between courses: The lion polishes off his meal, and awaits hungrily for the next.


Davin added, “The children were trying to reach out to touch the lions. It’s a brilliant idea. I’ve never been so close to such incredible animals before.

Heather Sargeant, who was also at the zoo, said, “You don’t realize just how big they are until they are staring you in the face like that.”

Okay, I cheated, and deliberately left out some of the opening text:

Behind the looking glass: Another view of the exhibit from the zoo’s website.

“I did ask a staff member a few questions about how strong the glass was before I felt able to sit down. It’s frightening, exciting and exhilarating all at the same time,” said Davin.

This unique opportunity to get up close to the fearsome cats has won the 25 year old zoo an award, and promises to be a main (mane?) attraction for years to come.

The back part of the vehicle, up to where the windshield should be is actually on the outside of the reinforced glass cage. The hood is on the inside, and covered with meat to entice the big cats closer.


Well, I suppose you need something funny --

When my daughter, Kelli, was 3, she and my son, Cody, would say their nightly prayers together. As most children do, we have to bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls." As this soon became part of her nightly routine, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about ‘all girls’?" Her response: "Because we always finish our prayers by saying 'All Men'!"

CHINA ROAD

Recently I’d commented on an incident in Rob Gifford’s book CHINA ROAD, and said I’d get back to you with more on this rather astonishing story. Rob is a correspondent for National Public Radio (NPR), and at the time (2007) was stationed in China. He made the nearly 3,000 mile trip from Shanghai to the Khazakstan border in the west, taking Route 312, with a few side jaunts in order to understand this immense country.

In this publication over the course of his trip Gifford talks with as many Chinese as he can. He describes the differences of the various groups, from the (relatively) well off workers in the east, to the factory workers in the newly industrialized interior, to the literally dirt poor farmers all along the way. He also notes that the inhabitants of China are not one homogeneous population, but an amalgam of Han Chinese to the Tibetans, to the Muslims of far western China, and the growing population of Christians, as well as others.

He writes about the contradictions in present day China, especially the need for the Government to maintain control, but also the need for creativity, which the Government is reluctant to allow. He notes the difference between American democracy and Chinese autocracy, and wonders, despite China’s growing influence in the world, if the whole system is simply too fragile to last. And he cites his reasons for so wondering, from the lack of creativity to the unrest of the huge peasant population. China has done much to improve the lives of some of the population, especially in the cities of the east coast, but many of the peasants he talked to complain that their lives have changed but little.

This book was an eye-opener for me. I learned more in this volume than I ever knew before. What the West has to say about this country is quite limited, and what the Chinese government tells the rest of the world is certainly far from the whole truth. I heartily recommend Gifford’s book.

Humor -

A True Scot:
A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing
out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's noo time aboot time for a wee cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed. And the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg." The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.

"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well, noo," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time.' "Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad, nodding. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request. Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"

SWEATER STORY

This sweater has a story to tell. No, it’s not about the sweater itself, but it was present at the critical time. In fact it had been purchased that very day.

My nephew Paul had been married to a very sweet and lovely young lady, but for whatever reason, they were divorced. Now Paul is a very friendly and gregarious fellow, and once divorced, he wanted to socialize with people. As the story is told, on his very first outing he met Trish, a very cute and friendly young lady. And apparently they began dating.

One day Amalie and I received a phone call from Paul, who was living in Chicago, saying that he was visiting someone in Southern California, and would love to come north to visit us. Oh, and by the way, he was bringing his new girl friend with him. I don’t recall why we decided to meet in Monterey, but we did. And we took them to the Monterey Bay Aquarium (which is when I bought the sweater). Later we took a drive around the coastal area, and then decided to go to dinner.

By then the day had cooled considerably, and in the restaurant I was feeling chilled. Paul offered to go out to the car and get my new sweater, and that’s it was there when the following took place:

Paul and Trish were sitting on one side of the table, and Am and I on the other. My dear wife, never one to be shy, said, “So when are you two getting married?” Trish lit up like a neon sign, obviously pleased with the idea, but Paul looked as if someone had hit him with a 2 x 4. One year later Am and I flew back to Illinois to attend their wedding. Now they have three adorable daughters, and Paul loves ‘em all.



Clockwise from left:
Bianca (blonde), Trish, Paul, Karina( Brunette), and Delaney (redhead)





Fun -

MOSES AND THE RED SEA:
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

UP’N ATOM

I’d mentioned previously that for some months -- July through near the end of October -- that I’d been unable to stand from a sitting position. Then my doctor sent me to a physical therapist, who gave me lots of exercises to do, and recently I reported that I was able to stand from my bed, and then from the dining room chair. Lately, getting up from those positions has become somewhat easier, but getting up from the toilet or the recliner chair in the living room was not possible.

Then I had a brilliant idea! At least for the recliner. I called my handy man friend, and asked him if he could raise the recliner a couple of inches. He came by, and put some temporary blocks under the chair, just to see if that height would work. IT DID! Then he went back to his workshop and made some permanent risers. He came back and attached them, and I tried it out. Guess what? It worked! Getting better all the time.


Fun -

GOOD SAMARITAN: A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead.

She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence: "I think I'd throw up."

PANDA - MONIUM

More of these cuddly guys. Enjoy!




Mum, can you come and get me down?













I’m not coming out. You’ll have to come get me.



















On the count of three -- LIFT!

















Does this log make my butt look fat?
















You go. I’ll just stay here and rest a bit.

















It wasn’t me! I didn’t steal this bamboo shoot. I was just sitting here, I swear.

















I’ll give you 2 seconds to get off me, or I’m calling Mom!















Pardon me, but do you have a napkin?














Shhh, I’m thinking.











Humor -

INNER PEACE !!
 I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives! Some doctor on the TV this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. 
 So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't 
finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, abutle of 
 vocka, a pockage of Pringlies, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets Yu haf no idr ow gud I fel. Peas sen dis orn to anyy yu fee ar in ned ov inrpece.

THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE

The following is a book review I wrote for our mobile home park magazine. We have a small library at our clubhouse, and when I don’t have the time or inclination to go to the public library, I’ll go there to see what might be interesting. Recently I picked up a Readers Digest Condensed volume, and this story was in it. I had not heard of this author before.

THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE
by Kristin Hannah
A book review by Don Meyer

Ms Hannah has written a novel that touches many aspects of love, and what we do as a result of that love. This is not a romance novel, though there are aspects of that. It is also love within a family, the love that can come from helping someone, love that is lost, love that perhaps was never there, love of nature - sun, wind, rain - and even love of food.

Kristin Hannah lives in the Pacific Northwest, and it is there that this story is told. She has a knack for building multi-dimensional characters that stand out in one’s mind. For instance, there is the Italian mother who gesticulates wildly even when talking to her deceased husband. There is the determined teenage girl who yearns for the love of a mother. There are the divorced couple who still love one another, but find it difficult to connect. And there are others.

I found this tale so engrossing that after reading it in the Readers Digest condensed form, I bought the novel and re-read it, finding nuance and details missing, of course, from the condensed version. I highly recommend it.

Fun -

BEING THANKFUL: A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

MUSICAL MEMORIES

I listen to the music on my iPod while exercising, and the other day the selections were Broadway hit tunes from the 40’s and 50’s, performed by the Boston Pops Orchestra. And suddenly I was struck with a memory from about 40 years ago.

At the time Amalie and I were not yet married, and we belonged to a Jewish singles group. The group had a dance scheduled, but somehow the Jewish Community Center was booked for the that night . Then one of the members managed to rent space at a local “Y”. Beautiful space. The only problem was that while there was a P.A. system, there was no music available. Now this was at a time long before CD’s, iPods, and other electronic gear available today, so Am and I went to our respective record and reel-to-reel tape collections, and put together several hours of what we figured was danceable music on reel-to-reel tape.

The night of the dance I was rather nervous, hoping that the group would both enjoy the music and be able to dance to it. I needn’t have worried. Once the music started, not only were they dancing, but they were singing on the dance floor! Great success!

Okay, here are the remainder of that quiz I started the other day. Answers at the bottom.

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Answers -

Six - Knight mare

Seven - Light Beer

Eight - Pool Table

Nine - Egg plant

Ten - Dandy Lions