A WEIGHTY SUBJECT

Of necessity, today's fun is split:

BRAIN TEASERS
Study the following brain teasers. Then, see if you can answer without looking at the answers below.

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

***

Yesterday I posted some health information about yours truly, including the fact that I have lost about 15 pounds (they should be around here somewhere) in the last couple of months. That reminded me of another time when I had lost a considerable amount of weight.

It was back in the late 60’s when I was hospitalized with a severe illness. I was in the hospital for about 10 - 14 days, and when I was released, I weighed myself on my home bathroom scale. I was down to 113 pounds, from my typical 140.

As luck would have it, I received an insurance check and decided to treat myself to, among other things, a new bathroom scale. My nephew Jack (6 years younger) phoned to see how I was doing, and I asked him if he would like to have my old bathroom scale. “Sure,” he said. “When can I pick it up?” “Anytime,” I replied, and a day or two later he came by. “This thing work?” he asked. “Of course,” I replied. At that point he weighed about double what I did. Now Jack was -- is -- a big man. “Double? Nah!” he said as he stepped on the scale. And he promptly got off! Wouldn’t tell me what he weighed, but I suspected it was something over 230.

As to my weight loss, my mother and eldest sister decided to take care of that. As my sister put it, I had to stand twice to cast a shadow. I was invited to dinner, invited for dessert (“Would you like some ice cream for dessert?) They knew my weakness for it. You’ll just have to imagine how high over the rim of the bowl they could pile a frozen dessert. So naturally I gained back what I’d lost. Fairly quickly.

Well, today I must find those lost pounds myself. Um, that’s not completely accurate. A.H. brought me a chocolate torte, ingredients noted: “ The top is one half a Trader Joe's Pound Plus bittersweet bar and about 3/4 c of manufacturing cream--nothing else. The latter being 40% butterfat as compared to the measly 32% of heavy cream.” I suspect that should have some effect.

BRAIN TEASER ANSWERS:

1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

2. The woman is a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.