I didn’t slip, I wasn’t pushed, I FELL!

I really was hoping to get away from health issues, but ...

I have had trouble standing up the past month, and this morning I almost made it straight up, but I lost my balance and fell. Don’t know how it happened, but the toes of my left foot hurt. Cliff iced it down for me, and after due consideration, I called 911. They hauled me off to the Emergency Room of our local hospital, where they x-rayed the foot. The results? Three hairline fractures of the second, third, and fourth metatarsals. They fitted me with a shoe cast, and now I’m sitting in a rented wheelchair narrow enough to go down my hallway. Cliff gets to push. Aaarrghhh!

How about something funny. (The above is NOT!)

A TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
~
TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow?
~
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
~
TEACHER: Ronald, what is the chemical formula for water?
RONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
RONALD: Yesterday, you said it's H to O.
~
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
~
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now,
Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
~
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.