CHALK DRAWINGS BY JULIAN BEEVER

Julian Beever is an English artist who's famous for his art on the pavements of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium. Beever gives to his drawings an amazing 3D illusion.

Thirsty?

Don't miss seeing Julian Beever on the Top of the Bottle

Do you notice everything is fake. even the hose and water?

Go ahead, put your hand in. It won't get wet.

Look closely and you can see the bricks through the chalk on the monitor screen.

There is no hole in this pavement.

People are actually avoiding walking in the "hole"

Which is the real guy and which beer is real?

Street not exactly paved with gold.

Girl in Swimming Pool (Remember, both his feet in reality are flat on the pavement)

Girl in Swimming Pool seen in Reverse from Opposite Side of Drawing

Politicians meeting their end.



Girl on a beach mat.

Other fun -

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

OUR OWN TWO-FER

A WORD OF WARNING -- IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY DONE SO, PLEASE GO BACK ONE POSTING TO TUESDAY, DECEMBER 29, "BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE". THIS IS A CONTINUATION.

Yesterday, after telling the long-ago story of a former disgruntled student when Amalie and I went to buy a limited quantity of something, Cliff and I set out today to get our own limited purchase. It was an ad in the paper for Kleenex - buy one, get one free- limit 4. At the store we had a number of other items to get, and while I was gathering some, Cliff went looking for the Kleenex. He came back to me holding one box and a disgusted look on his face. “This was the only one on the shelf,” he said. “Well, let’s get the rest of the stuff,“ I suggested, and headed for the checkout counter to complain. Cliff came up behind me, and it was obvious that the two of us were together.

When I complained about about the lack of supplies on the shelf, the checkout clerk called for the manager and when he arrived, he asked me, “How many do you want?” “Well, eight,” I replied, figuring that was how many we had hoped to garner. “You want 12?” he asked. “Sure,” said I, since I go through this stuff like greased lightening. He came back with -- 14, which we bought, two for the price of one.

ROSE PARADE HEADS UP!
Our own two-fer has a double meaning today, ‘cause you get two stories today.

I want to alert all of you to a group that will be in the Rose Parade Friday morning. These are the Giddy Up Gals, a local equestrian group. If you are a parade watcher, I would hope you’d keep your eyes peeled for these classy gals. Tracy Hinson is the team captain, and these young ladies come from various parts of our south bay. Tracy conceived the plan last March when she spent some 70 hours compiling the idea. Parade organizers were impressed with her idea, and invited her to Pasadena where they asked questions (will the girls wear leggings? Will the wings be fire retardant?), discussed the plan, and gave her a tour of the route.




The drill team routine is based on a story about a lonesome fairy who gains wings and new friends. The drill features high speed spins, pivots, maneuvers, and colorful streamers choreographed to music.

But the highlight of the show, Hinson tells us, will trail the horses: the Pooper Scoopers, a pair of fathers -- one skinny, one stout -- dressed as bumblebees in yellow tigh
ts. They’ll pull a wheelbarrow decorated as a bee hive. Hinson says they are the comedy act, dancing around with their shovels. Don’t think you want to miss that part of the parade.

Fun -
Caller: I’ve been dialing 700-1100 for two days and can’t get through to a store salesman.”
Operator: Where did you get that number?”
Caller: “It was on the door”.
Operator: “Those are the business hours”.

BUY ONE - GET ONE FREE

There was an ad in yesterday’s paper for Kleenex - buy one, get one free- limit 4. I said to Cliff that I’d like to get some. I would go in first and get four; then he would go in and get four more. He laughed at this, though he said he would do it. But that reminded me of a similar instance some years ago.

There was something at a local supermarket that Amalie wanted, and like yesterday’s ad, there was a limit. As I had suggested to Cliff, Am wanted me to go in and get the item, and she would also pick up her portion. I went into the store, picked up what she wanted, and went to the checkout line. There was one person ahead of me, and then another woman came into line behind me. Amalie came in line behind that second woman.

After the person in front left, the clerk looked at me rather indifferently, and fiddled around rather than wait on me. When he finally did start to check out my purchase, he was a good deal less than friendly. This bothered me; I hadn’t said a word to him, and when I finally left the store, I was thoroughly annoyed.

A short while later Amalie came out to the car laughing. “What’s so funny?” I demanded. “Well, the clerk was telling the woman in front of me that that guy (me) had flunked him in accounting,” Am related. Of course the clerk didn’t know that the “guy’s” wife was standing there listening to him, and she did not enlighten him. I suppose his behavior toward me was his way to get “even”. I didn’t remember him, but apparently he remembered me. From my point of view, he flunked himself for not doing the work. Gee, just think where he might have been, instead of at a checkout counter, if he’d passed accounting.

Sports Humor --

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees," --Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein," --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.

GETTING UP IN THE WORLD

In the bathroom, actually. The toilet is the one place from which I cannot stand, So I ordered a piece of equipment that would go under the toilet and raise it 3-1/2 inches. Unfortunately the unit wouldn't fit properly -- I had quite an explanation from the plumber -- so he is ordering me a taller toilet, on top of which I will probably have put a raised seat. More'n one way to skin a cat, or stand up, or something.

Fun -

A worker was reviewing pending sales activity with a co-worker at the printing company where they worked, and asked where a particular customer was in his decision process. “He’s at the 10 yard line,” the colleague answered. “Would you mind putting that in terms I can understand?” Recognizing a shopper when he saw one, he responded, “He’s at the checkout counter, and has his credit card in his hand."

A QUIET CHRISTMAS

Yes, I know that Thanksgiving is the time for giving thanks, but I, found myself, on this quiet Christmas day, giving thanks for what I have -- a comfortable home in which I live, good friends, two beautiful little birds, one of whom (Pepper) makes me laugh, and certainly the presence of my son Cliff, without whom I wouldn’t even be here.

To me these were the most important gifts this year. Oh, we’d received two plates of cookies, but no partridge in a pear tree.

Now I look forward to the coming year with some hope. I wish the same for all of you.

Humor -

A woman was heating water for pasta, and kept checking to see if it was boiling. Her thirteen year old son shook his head. “Stop doing that, Mom. It’s like that old saying, ‘A watched website never loads’ “.

***
It seems that getting a new passport requires a new photo. As one woman handed her new photo and her ten year old passport to the clerk, she sighed, “I like the old photo better.” “Trust me,” said the clerk, “ten years from now you’ll like this one.”

Weeweechu

My nephew sent me this today. I find it hilarious. Hope you agree.

It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said,
"Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu.
"

Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.


Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu.
I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.


"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.


Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.
"

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."


Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....


"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! From My House To Yours

And for fun, we have something unusual. These also came in today:

Give the dog a bone!

That's no heat wave!

Mouthwash? Swimming pool? Other?

Gotta hand it to ya.

Thirsty?

Get the cleanup crew!

Jesus saves

No comment

PAIN IN THE NECK...

and other parts of the anatomy. About 10 days ago I awoke about 3 a.m. with a terrible crick in my neck - right side- and my right shoulder wasn't feeling to swift, either. This was a Sunday morning, and fortunately I had a chiropractic appointment on Monday. Problem fixed. I thought.

Well, the right side was all right, but then a couple of days ago I awoke about 2:30 a.m. with sore left shoulder and neck. Back to the chiropractor. Ouch! When he finished with me he said that if the following day I still hurt to call and he would get me in. This in spite of the fact that he had a full schedule. When I awoke the following morning, I felt as if I'd been run over by a tractor. So back I went. Oooh, the adjustment was painful! But this morning, though there is quite a bit of discomfort, it is noticeably better. Thank Heaven!

It better be better! The chiropractor is now off for a two week holiday!

Now for some humor --

One week after moving into his first apartment, Ed called his mother to complain about his neighbors. “One woman cries all day, another lies in bed all day moaning, and then there’s the guy who keeps banging his head on the wall all day”. “You better keep away from them” she said. “I do, I stay inside all day and play my tuba”.

***
Ants can carry up to 20 times their own body weight. That’s useful information if you need help moving a potato chip across town.

Thousand Islands

Some years back Amalie and I took a small cruise ship from Rhode Island, around the tip of Manhattan Island, up the Hudson River, into the Erie Canal, eventually into Lake Ontario, and down the St. Lawrence River. The Thousand Islands were a wonder to behold, and while these photos are not ours (most taken from the air) they certainly are worth seeing.

The Thousand Islands are a chain of islands that straddle the U.S-Canada border in the Saint Lawrence River as it emerges from the northeast corner of Lake Ontario. The islands stretch for about 50 mi (80 km) downstream from Kingston, Ontario.

The number of islands was determined using the criteria that any island must be above water level for 365 days per year, bigger than one square foot (roughly 900 cm²), and support at least one tree or shrub.
The area is very popular among vacationers, campers, and boaters, and is often referred to as the 'fresh water boating capital of the world.'



























































Humor -

DEFINITIONS

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

A HOLIDAY GREETING...

...of sorts. Some of you have seen this as I mailed out to those on my holiday mailing list.

For this holiday season, we have a quiz/joke:
What are the names of Santa’s ten (yes, 10) reindeer?
Surely you know some.

Well, let’s see. There’s Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen. And then there’s Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen.

Very good. That’s 8 of the 10.

Two more?

Two more. Think Gene Autry.

Um, ... Oh! Rudolph!

Of course. Now one more. Stick
with Rudolph.

What? I don’t get it.

Think of the song. This is a bit tricky.

I don’t know. I give up.

Olive!

Olive? Where do you get Olive?

Right there in the song. “Olive the other reindeer used to laugh

and call him names...”

We wish you the happiest of holiday

seasons, and we will
ring out the old,
and welcome the new year!

Now for some updates. I just read that it isn't Donner, but Donder.
Did any of you see the Dear Abby column wrote in about reindeer? It seems that reindeer are the only species of deer where both the males and females have antlers. Furthermore, the males lose their antlers with the coming of winter. So all of Santa's reindeer must be girls. Which would make Olive correct.