SAYING FAREWELL

Yesterday Cliff and I attended my late nephew Jack’s burial ceremony at the Sacramento Valley National Cemetery at Dixon, California, about 90 miles from here. Jack, who had been in the Air Force, had been cremated, and his remains placed here.

What I want to tell you about are his offspring.  Jack had a daughter by his first marriage, and two sons by his second with Linda. All three are  “Friends” on Facebook, but I have not seen any of them in some years as they all live some distance from me.

When Jeffrey first saw me, he waved and called out, “Hi, uncle Don.” There is no mistaking Jeff. He is a tall, rather hefty individual.

At the cemetery office, the only air-conditioned space in the vicinity, I was sitting in my scooter, when daughter Brenda came up to me and said, “Do you know who I am?” I said, “You’re Brenda.” That was an easy one because I see her photo on Facebook.

Then another tall fellow came over and stood in front of me, but did not say a word.  He just stood there, grinning. I almost said, “Hello, Jack.” But what I did say was, “You’re Jim.”  James, as he prefers to be called, is a dead ringer for his dad about 30 years ago. He looks like Jack, sounds like his dad, and even moves  as his father did.  If you want to believe in science fiction, standing before me was Jack, 30 years ago, in some kind of time warp. And if that were the case, I don’t know what happened to Jim.

Shortly thereafter, a rather attractive blonde lady came up to me and said, “Are you uncle Don?” “Yes, I am,”  I responded. I had no idea what ever who this lady was. Turned out she was an old friend of Jack’s from at least 30 years ago (maybe more) when Jack and Linda lived in an apartment building in Sunnyvale. As a matter of fact, the mobile home in which I now live is just over the fence from the apartments in which Jack and Linda then lived. Amazing!


Humor?  You want humor?

Later, at the restaurant where we held a Celebration of Life, I said, among other things, this: Jack’s mother was a storyteller; Jack was a storyteller; and I am a story teller. This gathering reminds me of a particular story.
Old George was invited to a dinner honoring some person or event. When he got there, he saw that there were several hundred people in attendance, and it appeared that he didn’t know anybody. In addition he was seated next to a Chinese gentlemen, and George had no idea how to talk with him. Finally he turned the Chinese fellow and said, “Likee soupee?” The Chinese gentleman turned to George, but did not say a word.

When dinner was over, it was time for the featured speaker of the evening, and that turned out to be the Chinese gentleman. He gave a stirring speech in flawless English, and when he was finished, was greeted with a standing ovation. Then he returned to the dinner table, turned to George, and said, “Likee speechee?”

SIGNS

I was trying to decide whether to have these as the main part of the post, or as the humor.  Guess what?  Both!

 

 

 

 

PLACES YOU’D LIKE TO BE, part 2

None of yesterday’s locations appealed to you?  Try some of these --

Here we are at Machu Pichu.   Tired? Just lean against your llama.

 Here we are in Colmar, France, drifting quietly in the boat.

 What a lovely cave pool here in Satorini, Greece

 Maybe you would try this dining pod in Soneva Kiri, Thailand.

 What a lovely setting in this floating bungalow at  The Maldives.

 Or perhaps this glass floored ocean cottage in the Maldives.

 You want something a little more modern? Here is a glass walled library in Germany.

 Perhaps you'd like to lie in a hammock at one of these tiny cottages in Santa Marta, Colombia.

 You would prefer, perhaps, this over water hammock at Dedon Island, Philippines.

 How about a meal on the peninsula on Mykonos, Greece.

And finally, here is the Sunken Garden in New Zealand.

Humor --

NATURAL LAWS --

** The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

** Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

** Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

**Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

PLACES THAT YOU’D RATHER BE

Here it is, the beginning of summer, and perhaps you would rather be someplace else. Here are several to choose from – –

How about hanging hammock in the Philippines?

 Try a floating hot tub in Seattle

 This is called an infinity pool

 Oh! Let try kayaking in Glacier Bay, Alaska

 Ah! A nice comfortable porch on one of the Thousand Islands in the St. Lawrence River

Aha! Another hot tub, this time in Gothenburg Sweden

Ah, now here is something unusual -- rock pools in Turkey.

 Let's try rowing through a cave in Kefaloni, Greece

 Oh boy, the sea restaurant in Bora Bora

 Great idea! Relaxing in the sea swing somewhere in the South Pacific

 And finally, for the moment, a tree house in Nicaragua

Fun --

The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass produced by unskilled labor.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

AWESOME FLOWERS

Ok, the trees aren’t flowers, but they are most unusual, which is the point of this posting.
See for yourself.

 A river of flowers

That's quite a bouquet

 Hand painted?

 I wonder who knitted this lovely hat

 This train isn't going anywhere, but then it doesn't need to.

 Just needed a little support.

 Wow! Almost outdoes the real thing!

  That tells quite a tail.

Fun --

NATURAL LAWS

** Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

** Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

** Law of Bio mechanics -The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

** Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance.

VARIETY OF ANIMALS

From little ones to bigger ones.  Have a look --

Bug eyed

 Running in the wind

 Obviously transparent

 Let me climb on your back, mom.

 I'll take a nap as soon as I can get comfortable

 At least we're all facing the same way

 Say that again!

 Please don't go!

 Did the polar bear adopt the dog?

Humor --

NATURAL LAWS

**Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

**Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

** Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

**Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

**Variation Law -If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

**Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

SCENERY

Some of these are rather unusual.

 

 

Humor --

My daughter thinks I’m nosy. At least, that’s what she wrote in her diary.

Don’t spend two dollars to dry clean shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They will clean it and put it on a hanger. Then you can buy it back for seventy-five cents.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of car payments.

To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of the one’s voice.

Life is like a hot bath.  The longer you stay in it, the more wrinkled you get.