MISPLACED ANTECEDENT

I was reading the morning paper the other day when I read this sentence:

“Since June, when he came to the former cattle ranch from New Jersey, he’s been recording the birds.”

It struck me funny, as I recognized a misplaced antecedent.  So I emailed the columnist and said,

“Gee, I learn something new every day.
For instance, I never knew that cattle ranches came from New Jersey.
I never even knew there were any cattle ranches in New Jersey!”

He emailed back:

“This sounds ominously as if you've discovered some poor grammatical construction. I will investigate. Congratulations on the excellent sarcasm.
BN”

I had to respond to that, so I emailed back:

“Me?  Sarcastic?  Yeah, I s'pose so.
Actually I burst out laughing when I read it.  Aha!  A misplaced antecedent!  Easily fixed.  Switch the 'to' and 'from', thus:
"Since June, when he came from New Jersey to the former cattle ranch, he's been recording 
the birds."
No, I am not now, nor have I ever been an English teacher.  I'm a retired accountant.  But I do appreciate good writing.
Here are a couple of juicy ones from Google:

“Breathe in through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, then breathe out through your mouth”
or
“The room contained a chair, a desk, and a lone light bulb. It was twenty-six feet long by seventeen feet wide.
Don Meyer”

Then he emailed back --

Thank you for that very entertaining reply. At first I thought I had an "aha" moment of my own when I spotted your "nor" without a corresponding "neither," but apparently this isn't a hard and fast rule, and the preceding "not" will suffice. Language is a supple thing; not always easy to get it just right. I'm always pleased when someone with an eye for its suppleness wants to discuss it. Cheers, bruce Fun of a different kind --

Oh, goody!  my favorite medicine!

Who you lookin' at?

Who you looking at?

MBARI

That stands for the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute, and it is located at Moss Landing some miles up the road from the aquarium in Monterey.  As the name suggests, they do research in the very deep Monterey Bay, using remotely operated vehicles, or ROV's.  The descriptions are from the MBARI website.

 

This fangtooth was photographed by MBARI's ROV Ventana about 2,600 feet below the surface of Monterey Bay. Although it looks fierce, this fish is only about five inches long. Like many deep-sea predators, it may drift in the darkness for weeks at a time, waiting for prey to swim by.  Its oversized mouth and teeth help it grab and hold onto fish and squid almost as large as itself. These unique adaptations and feeding strategies appear to be quite successful, because the fangtooth is found in deep waters around the world.

 Apolemia is a large midwater colonial jelly that is fairly common in Monterey Bay. Its tail consists of thousands of stinging cells, which form a living driftnet that can stretch up to nearly 100 feet long. The long tail is pulled slowly through the water by pulsing motions of the "head" section. This one was photographed by MBARI's remotely operated vehicle Tiburon at a depth of about 3400 feet. 

     

"Big red" is the nickname that MBARI marine biologists gave to this startlingly large jellyfish, which grows over 3 feet in diameter. After determining that it was an entirely new species of jelly, they named it Tiburonia granrojo after MBARI's remotely operated vehicle Tiburon. It lives deep below the ocean’s surface, at depths of 2,000 to 4,800 feet. "Big red" has since been observed in deep waters off the west coast of North America, Baja California, Hawaii, and Japan. It uses its four to seven fleshy "feeding arms" instead of stinging tentacles to capture food.

Somehow I managed to not pick up the text on this one.  I do recall that it is called Barrel Eyes because of its ability to rotate its eyes.  It is also somewhat transparent.

MBARI researchers have discovered many new species of gelatinous organisms, and shows how important they are in marine food webs. Many other animals, such as this lobate ctenophore, had yet to be given scientific names.


Humor --

On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past--but never the present.

A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work."

The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.

Many girls like to marry a military man; he can cook, sew, and make beds, is in good health--and he's already used to taking orders.

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

MORE DOGS

This is the last (for the time being) of the canine photos I have.

Is that a dog, or a kid in costume?

Ok, we're ready to decorate.  We'll start in the living room.

Every dog has his day, and its place in the spotlight.

Oooh!  So comfy to cuddle up!

The Chairman of the Board

Secretary-Treasurer

Bad hair day.

Hey!  One at a time!  One at a time!

You sleep where you want; I'll sleep where I want.

Bet you can't do this!

(This caption came with the photo)

Little Wolfgang never lived down that dark day when Mommy thought it would be cute to dress him up.

Fun -

Whether a man winds up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.

Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.

When a man marries a woman, they become one--but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred she will never turn into an old nag.

OUTDOOR DINING, Part 2

Some places look more comfortable than others.

 

 

Only slightly ridiculous, but this is a true story.

I didn’t laugh out loud, but ...

The other day I scootered down to the store to pick up a sandwich for lunch.
As I waited for the green light, I saw a fellow wearing a Superman T-shirt.
The fellow was on crutches.

I KNEE-DED THAT

When I was a teenager, about half a gazillion years ago, I injured my right knee in a pickup game of football.  The doctor diagnosed as a cartilage injury, and every now and then I’d re-injure it, and it would swell up like a balloon.  Then for years it didn’t bother me at all, but lately it has been giving me grief, making it difficult to stand up.

Finally I asked my family physician (aka primary care physician) about it, and he sent me off to an orthopedist.  This is the same fellow who put me back together some years back when I fractured my hip.  So I was a bit concerned that he might want to operate.  But no.  He took x-rays and determined that the knee is actually pretty sound (I’ll comment on that in a moment), but the pain was caused by bone rubbing on bone.  He asked me if I wanted a cortisone shot.  How long might that last, I asked.  Possibly the rest of my life.  So I had the needle, and the relief has been almost immediate.  Let's see how long it actually lasts.

As to my ‘sound knee’, I could claim that I’m inhabited by a ghost because when I stand up, I c r e e e a k. 


Funny headlines --

There's a good use of public funds!

They'll never find it.  Too good a job.

Wow!  What a surprise!

And here they were looking for candy canes.

JUST FOR FUN!

There are days when all we need to get going, or perhaps get over a bum day, is a good laugh.
So if you can’t laugh at any of these, you may need a lube and oil change.

My favorite

MOOSE!

I grabbed these from a video sent to me.

Hey Ma!  That outfit we hired to mow the lawn?

They're eatin' the flowers!

Only way I can get the kids to take a bath.

Fun --

Startling headlines!

Uh, yeah.

Learn something new every day.

Shall we tell them?

I'm speechless with indignation!

Does he get to kill this one, too?

102 years ago

THE YEAR IS 1910

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
************ ********* ***********The year is 1910  
One hundred two years ago. 
What a difference a century makes! 
Here are some statistics for the Year 1910:
************ ********* ************
The average life expectancy for men was 47 years.
Fuel for this car was sold in drug stores only.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower The average US wage in 1910 was 22 cents per hour.
The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, 
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .
Ninety percent of all Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which
Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard.'
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.
The Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars...
The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school...
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores.
Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,

Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help ...
There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !
I  now send this to you without typing it myself. 
From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD - all in a matter of seconds!
Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.
IT STAGGERS THE MIND

MAGNIFICENT SCENERY

What else might one say about these photos!  Enjoy --

That's some swimming pool!

White cliffs of Dover?

Good for privacy

Somewhere, over the ...

Fun -

Rules of the air, part one

Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.