THEY’RE NOT STUPID, REALLY

Perhaps forgetful, or careless, or simply used to doing things the old way.  Any commentary from me would be completely superfluous.

 

OOPS! Part 2

Okay, just a few more.

You go your way; I go the other way!

He is NOT my racing trainer!

I told you!  You’re doing it wrong!

I think somehow you got off the freeway.

You get a car wash whether you want it or not!

Dang!  I didn’t know dogs could climb trees!

I’ll let you know when I want my picture taken!

Fun --

Biblical explanations by children, mis-spellings and all.

IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE . NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

COLORS

When I was a little kid, my folks got me a box of Crayola crayons.  It had a lot of pretty colors, like green, yellow, red, and blue.  And there were shades of colors, like pink, purple, light blue, orange, and dark green.

Then in the paper the other day I read an article that shows how far behind the times I am.  It appears that since the year 2000, an outfit called Pantone Color Institute has been announcing Pantone’s Color of the Year!  Good grief!  For the past dozen (baker’s dozen, actually) I have been the wrong color!

And the names!  Such creativity!   A word of warning -- I scanned these from the newspaper, so I presume the shades are not exactly true, even for True Red.  See for yourself.

2001 - Fuchsia Rose.  Smells delightful.

2002 - True Red.  Does that mean that there is a False Red?

2002 - True Red.  Does that mean that there is a False Red?

2003 - Aqua Sky -  I think we’re back to cerulean.  Son of cerulean?

2004 - Tigerlily - Sounds potentially dangerous.  Or are we back to flowers?  Looks red to me.

2005 - Blue Turquoise -  Looks like Aqua Sky to me, but then with my eyesight ...

2006 - Sand Dollar.  Oh, come on!  Everyone knows that sand dollars are those flat shells we pick up at the seashore.

2007 - Chili Pepper.  Now that’s a food seasoning!  Chili Pepper, indeed!  2013 is liable to be Pot Roast.

2008 - Blue Iris.  I have nothing to say.

2009 - Mimosa.  Looks yellow to me.  Let me check my Crayola box.

2010 - Turquoise - I won’t argue with that, but didn’t we already use that?  Oh, no.  That was Aqua Sky.

2011 - Honeysuckle - More flowers.  Or song titles.

2012 - (You’re not gonna believe this, and they didn’t even print a small rectangle of color!) - Tangerine Tango!  Not just Tangerine, We need to Tango!  I suppose we are supposed to dance our way through the year!

Your comments are invited.  Go ahead.  Tell me I’m behind the times!

Humor?  You want humor?  Go dream up some color names of your own.  I’ve already got Pot Roast.

Great Tips for 2012

Thought I'd better get these in before the end of the year --

 Stay out of trouble. 

  Aim for greater heights.

 Stay focused on your job.

  Exercise to maintain good health.

  Practice team work.

  Rely on your trusted partner to watch your back. Take your time trusting others.

  Rest and relax.

  Always take time to smile.

 Humor --

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add "es."

OOPS!

Sometimes it is not a good idea for humans to mix with other types of animals.

Get him away from the nests!

Back in the car! Back in the car!

Ha!  Look at that!

Oops!

Escorts

I told you!  Get away from my kids!

Humor --

Doctor Bloomfield, who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis, had a waiting room full of people when a little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane.  When her turn came, she went into the doctor's office, and, amazingly, emerged within 5 minutes walking completely erect with her head held high.

A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this walked up to the little old lady and said, "It's a miracle! You walked in bent in half and now you're walking erect. What did that doctor do?"

The answer?  "He gave me a longer cane."

FAIRY TALE HOME

Simon Dale is a family man in Wales, the western part of Great Britain. His interest in self-sustainability and an ecological awareness led him to dig out and build his own home—one of the loveliest, warmest, most inviting dwellings you could ever imagine. And it cost him only £3,000, about $4,700 American dollars!

Can you imagine a more charming entrance than this?

Simon gives two reasons for building the home. The first elegant one is:
It’s fun. Living your own life, in your own way is rewarding. Following our dreams keeps our souls alive.

His second reason is a plea for sustainability, in which he states that “our supplies are dwindling and our planet is in ecological catastrophe”

The tools are fairly simple. The main concession to modernity was a chainsaw, which he used to cut down about 30 small trees. No old growth forest fell to his family’s needs. He focused on tools that used his own energy, like shovel, chisel, and hammer. Yet it took him only four months to produce this lovely home.

The home is constructed from wood, stone, straw, and has a sod roof. It’s heated with a wood fireplace and has a solar panel for power. Most materials were scavenged. The effect, though, isn’t of a run-down get-by-with-second-best sort. It’s creative, artistic, elegant, and cozy.Most amazingly, the home didn’t require years of training or experience. Simon had none. He’s not an architect. He’s not an engineer. He’s not a carpenter.  He started from scratch in every sense. He told the Daily Mail:

Being your own have-a-go architect is a lot of fun and allows you to create and enjoy something which is part of yourself and the land rather than, at worst, a mass-produced box designed for maximum profit and the convenience of the construction industry.  Building from natural materials does away with producers’ profits and the cocktail of carcinogenic poisons that fill most modern buildings.

He was fortunate to obtain the land for his home. The plot, a bit of a large piece, was given to him in exchange for its caretaking.

Humor --

The Best Way To Pray --

A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.

"Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.

"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."

"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor."

The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."

CUTE CATS

They can scratch, howl, be a nuisance, be demanding, but Lordy, they can be cute.  See for yourself.

 Surprise!

He’s my friend.  Besides, I like to hear him snore.

Peek-a-boo!

 I’m not upside down.  You are.

 I can’t sleep without my little bear.

 I’m so cute!  Why do you suppose they call me Tiger?

 I didn’t do it!  I didn’t do it!  Whatever it was.

 They said the bus would stop right here.

 Just thinking.  About supper time.

Angels as Explained By Children


Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.
-Mitchell, age 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.
-Henry, age 8

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!
-Jack, age 6

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
Daniel, age 9