ANIMAL DUETS

These are quite interesting pairings, not too often seen.  Or maybe more often than we realize.

Nice soft fur.  If he tries anything, I'll claw his eyes out!

Long neck distant relatives

Giddiyap!

We're buddies, but he don't talk much.

Wanna go for a swim?

Easy does it.  Plenty for all!

No, you may not hang from my horns!

I need my saddle

You needn't fawn over me.

Yeah, that's a hand.  Like yours.  A bit bigger.

Fun --

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 40

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb potato sacks, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand, and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)  After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each sack.

HAPPENS EVERY TIME

I have an iPod, and every now and then it needs to be charged.  Apple supplied me with a cable that plugs into the camera at one end, and a USB connector at the other.  Very easy to use.

I used to have a shallow drawer under my computer table in which I kept, among other items, that charger cable.  But I had to have Cliff take the drawer out because my legs were scraping on the bottom of it.  All that’s left are the side brackets.  Before the drawer came out, I carefully removed all the junk, stuff, valuables, and carefully put them away.  So carefully that the other day when I went to charge the iPod, I couldn’t find that charger.  I looked.  Cliff looked.  No luck.

I figured it had to turn up sometime, whenever that was, but I needed to charge the iPod!  It happens to me every time -- if I wait to discover it, it might take months.

 If I order a new one, the old one will turn up much more quickly.  So I ordered a new one.  It will be delivered later this week.  So look what I found!


Humor --

A Herd of Cows, A Flock of Chickens

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective
nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of
fish and a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well
as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and,
presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.



Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most
obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates.
And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

Believe it or not ....... a Congress!



Guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington!

CHEF’S DAY OFF

What do you suppose chef’s do in their spare time?  I trust they don’t do this on the job.
Some (probably unnecessary) comments by yours truly

 Riddup,  riddup

 Baaah humbug

 Hit that high note!

Funny looking vanilla

Fun --
Prepare to groan

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.  After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

BEAUTIFUL ALASKA, part 1

I hope you find these photos as gorgeous as I did.  My thanks to Marty for sending them to me.

 

Humor --

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

I went to a seafood disco last week...And pulled a mussel.

AWWW

Six days a week columnist Gary Richards deals with (mostly) road and driving issues.  People write in with questions, and he attempts to get answers.  The following was in Wednesday’s paper:

Q - I had an "awww" moment on the freeway recently that I wanted to share. My family (husband, three kids and two dogs) were squeezed into our minivan like a bad episode of "Hoarders" en route to Tahoe on Interstate 680 approaching the Benicia Bridge. When we got to the tollbooth, the toll-taker smiled and told us that a "nice lady in front of you paid your toll." It was completely random, and we were shocked that a stranger would be so kind. So to the woman in the blue Saturn SUV, thank you. Your gesture was a wonderful reminder of the inherent goodness and kindness in (most) people, and that we are all neighbors.
Mary McGuire, Saratoga

A - The story gets better. The McGuires then paid the toll for the person behind them. I traveled across this same bridge this past Saturday, and when I told the toll-taker I wanted pay the $5 toll for the driver behind me, the attendant smiled and so did I.


Car-toon --

That's too neat for the dogs to have fallen into a vat of dye.

TWO POINTS OF VIEW

Just in case you’re planning to do a little cooking...

To keep potatoes from budding,

place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Buy mashed potato mix.
Keeps in the cupboard for up to a year.

When a cake recipe calls for flouring
the baking tin, use a bit of dry cake
mix instead and there won't be any
white mess on the outside of the cake. 

Go to the bakery!
Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting
in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Celery?
Never heard of it!

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and
rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. 

Take a lime, mix it with tequila,
chill and drink! All your pains go away!

Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for future use
in casseroles and sauces.

Left over wine???

Other fun time --

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

JAGUARS

No, not the automobile.

Jaguars (the cat) are indigenous to areas in Mexico, Central America and South America.  Unfortunately, over the years civilization has encroached on the habitats of these (and other) animals to the point that the various groups are separated and cannot interbreed.  In fact there was a point where scientist thought that different jag groups were different subspecies.  Only recently it has been determined that the various sub-units belong to the same group (or whatever scientists call such a grouping).  Now there is an effort underway to create a jaguar ‘highway’ so that these cats can mix with one another.

The above information and the photos that follow come from the Smithsonian magazine.

Remarkable photo!

The magazine text said that this cat was yawning.  I wouldn't want to be around to check that out!

My, what big teeth you have, grandma!

You might be getting the idea that I like cats.  They are gorgeous animals.

Fun --

WHAT’S FOR DINNER?

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. "Here's what you do," said the Doctor. “Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."


 That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, “Honey, what's for dinner?" No response. So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife, and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response. Next, he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response. So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet  away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
"Ralph, for the FIFTH  time, CHICKEN!"