VA ADVENTURE

Yesterday I had my semi-annual “checkup” at the Veterans Administration Hospital in nearby Palo Alto.  I put “checkup” in quotes because it is not much of a checkup.  But that is not why I’m writing about it today.

I should have known -- a 3:30 appointment.  They are never on time at that time of the day.  Well, I did know, somewhat.  I said to Cliff that I would not expect to see the doctor until 4 o’clock.  Turns out I was wrong.

Now with a 3:30 doctor appointment, they want me there at three.  Ordinarily that would mean that the nurse would get to me about 3:15 to 3:20 to weigh me, take my blood pressure and temperature, as well as my oxygen reading. This time the nurse called me about a couple of minutes after three.    That gets to be important to the story, as you will see, because she was finished with me by 3:15.  (All my readings were fine.)

As I said, I was wrong about when the doctor would see me.  While the nurse took me early --on time, really -- 4 o’clock came and went, and the one in the white coat was nowhere to be sight.  I was getting fidgety, and I said to Cliff, who had accompanied me, that five more minutes, and we were leaving.  He suggested I ask someone so I rolled my scooter toward the open door and saw the nurse.  “I had a 3:30 appointment!” I said, pointing to my watch.  “I’ll check,” she said, and came back to say the doctor would see me in about five minutes.  Right.  But about five minutes later (it was nearly 4:20 by then), a very apologetic young lady doctor came in.  Finally!  I knew she was a doctor because she had a stethoscope around her neck.

So she did her “checkup”.  Listened to my lungs (Yup, he’s still breathing), my heart (he is still alive) and asked a bunch of questions.  We were finally out of there about 4:50.  Yuck!

What cracked me up, though, was that after we got home, Cliff, who is usually pretty indifferent about such things said to me in a tone somewhat in awe, “You were really annoyed, weren’t you!”  He got that right.

Now that I've got that out of my system, let's go to the lighter side --

 

Are these real?

TRANSPORTATION ...

... of various kinds.

 WHEE!

 No one told me this was for pedestrians only!

 I hope this thing holds.  The 50 year guarantee runs out tomorrow afternoon.

 Where did you say the roadway was?

Now it’s easy!  It’s all downhill from here.

We’re not lion.  This is the official escort.

Quit monkeying around, and finish washing the car.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

(Written by kids)

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both don't want any more kids.
   - Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
  - Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
   - Martin, age 10

CHINA PATH

OSHA isn't spoken here..
The growth of China in tourism is very much indebted to these hard working, brave people.

Workers build a footpath around the vertiginous slopes of Shifou Mountain in China

 

Thousands of metres up the steep slopes of Shifou Mountain in Hunan Province, China, a team of workers, operating with hardly any safety measures, are building a footpath.

The workers are building a plank road on the side of the mountain that, once it is finished, will stretch for 3km (9843 ft) and be China 's longest sightseeing footpath.

 

48-year-old Yu Ji (above) is one of the workers and he has been working on high cliffs building such plank roads for more than 10 years. He comments: "Young people don't want this job, as it requires them to stay deep in the mountains for months or even years"

 Yu Ji takes charge of the most dangerous part of the project - drilling the holes to set up pipes to support the footpath.

 

Building a plank road on Shifou Mountain is difficult because the cliff stands vertical at 90 degrees, without any slope or alcoves

 

A finished section of the footpath.

 

Humor --

From the Bulwer-Lytton San Jose State Bad Writing Contest.  (Remember “It was a dark and stormy night”?):

“As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were to ever break wind in the sound chamber, he would never hear the end of it.”

and

“With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description.”

MY SIDE OF THE STORY

Today is Saturday.  The day before yesterday Alison had written on her blog that she owed me a chocolate torte.  She did?  Why should I argue?  She went on to say that her springform pans “... has been well used for a long time.  And they’re showing it. The latch on one is a little loose, the other, more than a little and it’s leaked a bit a few times...”  Then she went on to describe all the smoke she was creating (for Indian smoke signals?), and how the cakes were ruined, and she really should spring for new pans.

Yesterday I was at Avenidas, and those ruined pans were somehow bugging me.  So I asked Laura “Where does one buy springform pans?”  “Ask Polly,” she said.  I looked around, but didn’t see Polly.  But then at lunch time, I nearly backed into her when I pushed back from the table.  She was loading dirty dishes to be cleaned onto a cart.  “Polly, where can I get springform pans?”  She gave me an answer.

Now it so happens that Avenidas is fairly close to where Alison lives.  And it also just happens that the recommended store is between Avenidas and Alison.  You get the picture.  Cliff drove to the store, and I gave him instructions on what to get.  A pair of springform pans, of course.  Neither of us knew what we were talking about.  Then off to Alison’s.  Cliff parked, took the package, and rang the doorbell.   When she opened the door, he must have said something because she gave a big grin, gave him a big hug, and then came bounding out of the house like a gazelle to hug me through the open window.

Then last night, a little after 8, she phoned to ask if she could bring the cakes.  Now that had to be the silliest question of the week!  I was going to say No?  So here I am with a goofy grin and chocolate all over my face!




Humor --

Presumably from someone’s resume:
Fluent in both English and Spinach.

***

A little boy was brought into the emergency room after ingesting part of a plug-in air freshener.  After consulting poison control, and monitoring him, the doctor wrote on his discharge, “Patient doing well.  Ready to go home.  Smells good.”

SIGHTS AND SCENERY

A few of these I could identify; others, well just enjoy.

American Falls, Niagara

Monument Valley, Arizona

Mount Rushmore

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

(Written by kids)

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET  MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
   - Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
  - Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
   - Derrick, age 8

KITTENS AND CHICKENS

I thought these were cute.  Captions by yours truly.

 I got in.  How do I get out?

You can’t be cats.  You don’t look ANYthing like me.

Stop!  That tickles!

That’s quite an armful.  And then ...

 ... when you put them down, this is what happens.

Humor --

I used to eat a lot of  natural foods until
I learned that most people die of natural causes..

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

And from the Sunday paper --

“No elected official likes ruining a good story with facts.”
    Sam Liccardo, San Jose Councilman

NAME THAT TUNE

On Monday my new Avenidas partner and I held our first Name That Tune session.  I know I’m biased, but I thought it went extremely well.  This is the hour where we start an instrumental tune, and see if someone can guess the name. Beth’s approach is quite different from that of Audrey, my previous partner-in-music.   Often there is an immediate answer from the audience, but there are times when they seem stumped.  So Beth has ways to give hints.  Among them is her use of the whiteboard.  She drew some dashes   ____     _____   _____ to correspond to the number of letters in the name of the song, and then asked the audience for letters.  Worked every time.

We have different musical ideas planned for future months, including a light classics program for next month, Favorites another time, and certainly we will get back to Name That Tune.


Fun -

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. “Reverend,” said the young man, “I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.” The minister chuckled, “I know what you mean. It's the same in my business.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Sunday after church, a mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered,  “Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt.” Needless to say, the mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said, “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.”