TOOTHLESS IN SEATTLE

Okay, not Seattle.  I live in Mountain View.  Nonetheless and howsomenever, I’m going to need some major dental work.  That’s spelled with a capital $.

When I saw my dentist last week to have my lower denture adjusted, he determined that when I fell and hit my jaw, I loosened an anchor tooth.  In the past he has mentioned other lower teeth are loose, so he is recommending that at some point those have to come out, and a new denture made.  That’s what I get for growing old.

My personal philosophy regarding unpleasant things that must be done is to get it over with -- get it behind me!  Not, you understand, that I look forward to the dental work, but I don’t want to keep looking forward to it!  So I’m thinking that as soon as my ribs heal sufficiently, I will go ahead with this.  Oh, goody!

How about something on the light side --

SENIOR TEXTING

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting, there
appears to be a real need for a STC (Senior Texting Code)..!

ATD:........At The Doctor's
BTW:........Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT:.......Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM:........Covered By Medicare
CUATSC:.....See You At The Senior Center
DWI:........Driving While Incontinent
FWB:........Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW:.......Forgot Where I Was
FYI:........Found Your Insulin
GGPBL:......Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA:........Got Heartburn Again
IMHO:.......Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO:.......Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL:........Living On Lipitor
OMMR:.......On My Massage Recliner
OMSG:.......Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL/CGU:...Rolling On The Floor Laughing/Can't Get Up
SGGP:.......Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL:.......Talk To You Louder
WAITT:......Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA:.......Wet The Furniture Again
WTP:........Where's The Prunes?
WWNO:....... Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI:......(Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)

SYLVIA

Sunday we had a great time!  Russ and Sandy, two long-time friends, joined Cliff and me for a staged production of a play I had seen many years ago entitled Sylvia.  In the play, Sylvia is a dog of indeterminate lineage, and the young (human) lady who played the part was just marvelous!  The other actors were also excellent.  One fellow played three different bit parts.  Now that isn’t unusual in theater, but this guy played a man, a woman, and one indeterminate. The story is funny and poignant.  We thoroughly enjoyed it, Russ and Sandy especially so since they have two golden retrievers of their own!

Then we went to our favorite Chinese restaurant, Chef Chu’s, where we had a delicious meal, and a great time swapping jokes and stories.  All in all, a great day!

Punny -

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
***

The following is a get-well card from a friend.  I found this to be particularly funny since I move about as fast as a turtle, and I was wearing one of those stretch bands.

PARROT FAMILY MEMBERS

I subscribe to a magazine called Bird Talk, which is almost exclusively about members of the parrot family.  The latest issue has quite a variety of different kinds, and there are more.

This guy is on the cover

Senegal

Cockatoo

African grey

Don't have a name for this guy, but he sure is cute.

Parakeet

Don't have a name for this guy, either.

Blue fronted parrot

Looks green to me.

Blue and Gold Macaw

Scarlet Macaw

Hyacinth Macaw

Patagonian Conure

Conures are fairly small members of the parrot family

Fun -

Bizarre classified ads

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so service- able
that lots of women wear nothing else.

KITCHEN CREATIVITY, part 2

A few comments by me.

That's called 'puckering up'.

Hey there, sweetie.  Wanna make an omelet?

Ow!

The meeting will be called to order

Computer humor -

Customer:    Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find  printer'.  I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
***
Customer:   I have  problems printing in red...
Tech  support:    Do you have a color printer?
Customer:    Aaaah....................thank you.
 ***

Tech  support:    What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:    A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

PARK MAGAZINE, conclusion

So there was the park magazine, being chased by the indians, and approaching the cliff, when suddenly ...
Okay, it wasn’t that dramatic.  But one other fellow and I didn’t want to see this publication go down the drain.  I don’t remember why we thought Marty would make a good editor.  She was fairly new to the park, and a very bright woman.  But we did approach her to ask if she would take over the editorship.  She agreed provided she didn’t have to do the computer work, so I agreed to continue that part of it.

And so it has been ever since.  She designated me Associate Editor, and we work quite well together.  She gathers up material from a variety of places, including submissions by park residents, as well as other sources.  She is excellent at grammar, spelling, and punctuation -- better than I, and we will often discuss the suitability of any given piece of material.

For my part, I have added double columning to the pages, photographs, and a far better printer.  She emails me her copy, and I form them into the appropriate pages.  I quite enjoy doing this, and there are times when the paging gets quite challenging.  And where do you think I get some of the humor for this blog?  Right!

Speaking of which --

More definitions:

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
A grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.


OUR PARK MAGAZINE

I can’t believe that after all this time doing my blog, I haven’t told you about our park magazine.  There is a printing firm a few miles away who prints these mobile home park magazines for free, and make their money with the ads they solicit.  Apparently they print these publications for parks all over California.

Back in 1988 I was still getting used to my handicap status, when one day the then park manager said to me, “Here, you’re not doing anything.  Do this!”  ‘This’ was an anemic copy of a park magazine he had been doing.  Well, at the time I had an Apple 2e computer and a dot matrix printer (lousy printer), so I accepted.  At the time the printer was allowing up to some 20 pages of park copy, followed by all their ads.  I tackled the job with some glee, and my first edition came out in July, 1988.

Amalie and I did this all on our own for a total of 14 years -- reporting, writing copy, editing, proof reading, printing copy for the printer, and delivering copy to the printer.  After some 13 years, I was getting weary, and announced that the June issue one year later would be my last.  No one volunteered, until virtually the last moment when a group of women realized they were about to lose the publication.  So they talked one gal into taking over if I agreed to do the computer work until they found someone else to do it.  Poor gal, she was in over her head, but she did accomplish one very important thing -- she got others to write articles.

But after a year she had a family emergency back east that was going to consume several months of time.  So she had to give up the editorship.

Tune in tomorrow to find out how this dilemma was ultimately solved.

Humor --

New definitions:

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have,
Similar to my character lines.

KITCHEN CREATIVITY, Part one

Well, this is certainly a different kind of creativity.  No comments from me required.

Other fun -

Bizarre classified ads --

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

For Sale -- eight puppies from a German Shepard and an Alaskan
Hussy.