chippep

Great Tips for 2012

2012-02-13T08:35:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd better get these in before the end of the year --

Stay out of trouble.

Aim for greater heights.

Stay focused on your job.

Exercise to maintain good health.

Practice team work.

Rely on your trusted partner to watch your back. Take your time trusting others.

Rest and relax.

Always take time to smile.

Humor --

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add "es."

OOPS!

2012-02-11T10:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it is not a good idea for humans to mix with other types of animals.

Get him away from the nests!

Back in the car! Back in the car!

Ha! Look at that!

Oops!

Escorts

I told you! Get away from my kids!

Humor --

Doctor Bloomfield, who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis, had a waiting room full of people when a little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane. When her turn came, she went into the doctor's office, and, amazingly, emerged within 5 minutes walking completely erect with her head held high.

A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this walked up to the little old lady and said, "It's a miracle! You walked in bent in half and now you're walking erect. What did that doctor do?"

The answer? "He gave me a longer cane."

FAIRY TALE HOME

2012-02-10T09:25:00.000-08:00

Simon Dale is a family man in Wales, the western part of Great Britain. His interest in self-sustainability and an ecological awareness led him to dig out and build his own home—one of the loveliest, warmest, most inviting dwellings you could ever imagine. And it cost him only £3,000, about $4,700 American dollars!

Can you imagine a more charming entrance than this?

Simon gives two reasons for building the home. The first elegant one is:
It’s fun. Living your own life, in your own way is rewarding. Following our dreams keeps our souls alive.

His second reason is a plea for sustainability, in which he states that “our supplies are dwindling and our planet is in ecological catastrophe”

The tools are fairly simple. The main concession to modernity was a chainsaw, which he used to cut down about 30 small trees. No old growth forest fell to his family’s needs. He focused on tools that used his own energy, like shovel, chisel, and hammer. Yet it took him only four months to produce this lovely home.

The home is constructed from wood, stone, straw, and has a sod roof. It’s heated with a wood fireplace and has a solar panel for power. Most materials were scavenged. The effect, though, isn’t of a run-down get-by-with-second-best sort. It’s creative, artistic, elegant, and cozy.Most amazingly, the home didn’t require years of training or experience. Simon had none. He’s not an architect. He’s not an engineer. He’s not a carpenter. He started from scratch in every sense. He told the Daily Mail:

Being your own have-a-go architect is a lot of fun and allows you to create and enjoy something which is part of yourself and the land rather than, at worst, a mass-produced box designed for maximum profit and the convenience of the construction industry. Building from natural materials does away with producers’ profits and the cocktail of carcinogenic poisons that fill most modern buildings.

He was fortunate to obtain the land for his home. The plot, a bit of a large piece, was given to him in exchange for its caretaking.

Humor --

The Best Way To Pray --

A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.

"Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.

"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."

"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor."

The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."

CUTE CATS

2012-02-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

They can scratch, howl, be a nuisance, be demanding, but Lordy, they can be cute. See for yourself.

Surprise!

He’s my friend. Besides, I like to hear him snore.

Peek-a-boo!

I’m not upside down. You are.

I can’t sleep without my little bear.

I’m so cute! Why do you suppose they call me Tiger?

I didn’t do it! I didn’t do it! Whatever it was.

They said the bus would stop right here.

Just thinking. About supper time.

Angels as Explained By Children

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.
-Mitchell, age 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.
-Henry, age 8

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!
-Jack, age 6

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
Daniel, age 9

WONDERFUL WORLD, conclusion

2012-02-08T08:46:00.000-08:00

A few more photos to convince you (if you are not already convinced) that this is truly a Wonderful World.

Angels as Explained By Children --

I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold.
Gregory, age 5

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it
-Olive, age 9

It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
-Matthew, age 9

TRAILS, Part 2

2012-02-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

Some of these are most unusual. Does anyone recognize any? I don’t.

Humor --

The Usher

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row, please," she answered.
"You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No," he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No," she said.
"Good," he answered.

ANIMALS, with a twist

2012-02-06T08:43:00.000-08:00

Let's just say that I like to write captions.

Ahm nuttin but a houn dawg!

Supper time! I’m coming!

How’d you get down there? Get up here right now!

I’d swear that’s not one of us. Right color, but only has only two legs.

Safe, comfortable passage.

Ooh! For me? Delicious!

What is it?

Aren't we cute!

Don’t get no closer! I’m the guard dog, er, ah, cat here!

We’re good buddies.

I wuv you. What you been eatin’?

PUSH!

I’m pushing. That’s as far as I can push!

Fun --

The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
"Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.' "

QUIZ TIME

2012-02-04T09:28:00.000-08:00

Quiz for Bright People
There are only nine questions. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'

Answers down below.

But first a bit of humor --

The five-year-old boy couldn't wait to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, his father interrupted. "What caused the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity the boy replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!"

Answers To Quiz:

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls .. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

WONDERFUL WORLD

2012-02-02T09:12:00.000-08:00

David Attenborough has a video on you tube that shows the wonders of this world in many of its various forms. I managed to pick off some for your enjoyment. This is part one of two.

Fun --

I'm not quite getting the hang of creating links, butI think if you click on the following,
you will get a good laugh --

http://www.heaven666.org/the-woman-in-the-changing-room-set-up-58709.php

TRAILS

2012-02-02T08:38:00.000-08:00

All kinds. Up. Down. Wavy. Curvy. Straight. I recognize two of them -- the first and fourth. Have a look. This is the first of two postings.

We are in San Francisco, and we are looking up California Street

where the '...little cable cars climb halfway to the stars'

We are back in San Francisco, an that is curvy Lombard Street.

I've driven it many times, and yes, it is one way from top to bottom.

Humor -

A man, followed by his very large ostrich, walk into a restaurant for lunch. “What will you have, sir,” asks the waitress. “I’ll have a cheeseburger and a large coke,” he answers. “And your friend’?” The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.” They have their lunch, and when the waitress brings the check, the fellow reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount, tip included.

About a week later the fellow and ostrich return to the same restaurant for lunch. This time he orders the Chef’s Special and coffee, and the ostrich says it will have the same. Again, when the waitress brings the check, the fellow reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount, tip included.

Several days later the fellow and ostrich return once again to the restaurant for lunch. This time the fellow orders a grilled ham and cheese and a chocolate milkshake. The ostrich says it will have the same. And once again, when he gets the check, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount, tip included. “Excuse me,” says the waitress, “I don’t mean to be nosy, but now that is the third time that when I’ve given you the check, you’ve had the exact amount in your pocket. How do you do that?”

“Well, that’s quite an interesting story,” responds the fellow. “I was walking along the beach one day when I tripped over a metal pot of some kind. There was a big cloud, and a genie appeared, and said I could have two wishes. So I wished that I would always have the right amount of money in my pocket whenever I needed to pay a bill.”

“Well that would explain that. But what was your second wish?” she asks.

“Oh, that,” he says. “I asked for a chick with long legs.”

SNOW WONDER, Conclusion

2012-02-01T09:28:00.000-08:00

As promised, here are the rest of the snow sculptures I have to show. Once again, you can see the size of these pieces of art when there are humans in the photo.

Biblical humor --

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah He was floating his stock while everyone
else was in liquidation.

DRY RUN

2012-01-31T08:39:00.000-08:00

I was complaining to the physical therapist at Avenidas about the strong tendency of my left hand to curl up into a weird fist, especially at night. She suggested that I go to the Stanford Hand Clinic and be fitted for a night hand splint. The purpose of the splint is to keep my hand straight.

I talked to my doctor, and he wrote a prescription, which I sent off to the aforementioned Hand Clinic. I received a call back to set up a series of appointments. Now some years ago I was at the Stanford Hospital for something else, and I remembered that parking is nigh onto impossible except for their parking garage, for which there is a charge. Further, I’d recently heard that the road to the hospital is pretty messy because of ongoing construction.

So when I’d finished setting up the appointments, I asked about specific instructions, both in getting to the hospital, and how to find the Hand Clinic. The young lady proceeded to give me very specific instructions, which I jotted down. After hanging up I thought that it might be a good idea to do a dry run to be sure I’d know where we were going. So Cliff and I decided we would give it a try right after Avenidas this past Friday.

Oh, boy! It’s a good thing we did! The road is in a terrible mess, which slowed us down. After we finally parked the car, Cliff retrieved my scooter, and we found our way out to the area of the hospital. Unfortunately the area didn’t look anything like what I’d remembered. We finally found what we figured to be the proper entrance and then more confusion ensued. Cliff pointed out an information desk, so we inquired there. And that’s where we were most lucky. One of the volunteers guided us to the Hand Clinic, and I even found the young lady with whom I’d spoken the day before. Bingo!

More luck ensued. Now we knew where we’d be going the day of the appointment, but arriving on time was going to be iffy. Then our guide told us about a different route to the hospital, and avoid all that construction work. At home I checked it on a Google map, and it appears that what the guide suggested will work very nicely, thank you.

Oh, yes -- can’t forget! Cliff and I were so happy to have that over with, that on the way home, we treated ourselves to chocolate milkshakes! Delicious!

Cartoon time --

SNOW WONDER!

2012-01-30T08:59:00.000-08:00

In the San Francisco Bay Area part of California we simply do not get enough snow to make a miniature snow man, let alone anything like the following. Up in the Sierra’s, perhaps, but not down here. You get an idea of the dimensions of these sculptures when there are people in the pic.

And this is just part 1 of 2. Enjoy!

Humor --

A MATTER OF TASTE

A wife returned happy after having bought a new hat decorated with cherries and showed it to her grouchy husband.
He: Why do you have those cherries on your hat?
She: Because I LOVE cherries.
He: I love fried chicken livers, but I don't carry them around on my hat!

JUST PAPER

2012-01-28T09:26:00.000-08:00

I continue to be amazed at the variety of beautiful - unusual - amazing - startling - creative emails sent to me. It’s fun to share.

Here is what someone else had to say about this artist:

Paper artist Calvin Nicholls.
There is nothing simple or ordinary about his paper art. Where we would simply use a piece of paper and a pair of scissors, Calvin uses everything you could possibly think of to carve, cut and rip perfect details onto his creations.

The motifs are all wildlife, and that must be one of the hardest categories of things to make with paper since there are sometimes impossible details on animals. These details are amazing, and I can't even fathom the time it must have taken to create these masterpieces of art.

Humor --

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

***

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."

ANIMALS -- DIFFERENT KINDS

2012-01-27T08:38:00.000-08:00

Here’s a collection of odds and ends (odd ends?) with dialogue by Yours Truly.

And then I said to him ...

Mine! No, mine!

I told you not to interrupt when I’m squawking!

Okay, kids. Smile!

I don’t care what you think. I’ll do it my way!

Whoop! ap! yip! Look OUT!

Yup, I’m a parakeet. Cute, ain’t I!

Wheee! I love swimmin’!

A Gentoo penguin swims in a pool at the Melborne Aquarium. They are the fastest underwater

swimming penguins, able to reach speeds of 36 km/hr. (24 mph).

Wild turkeys. Scatter, fellas before Thanksgiving comes around again!

Fun -

The Picnic -
A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"

The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."

FABULOUS CONCERT

2012-01-26T08:51:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday Cliff and I attended an organ concert in Los Gatos. But that does not really tell the story of this remarkable musical extravaganza. Actually this was two hands and two feet that comprised a full orchestra, conductor and choir. I’ll have to explain.

According to the program, the organist, Hector Olivera “...was born in Buenos Aires. His first teacher (who was his father) encouraged him to begin playing the pipe organ when he was three.” Three? “Two years later he was appointed organist of the Church of the Immaculate Conception. At six, he entered the Buenos Aires Conservatory to study harmony, counterpoint, and fugue. By nine he had composed a suite for oboe and string orchestra which was performed by the Buenos Aires Symphony Orchestra.”

Well, you get the idea. Now there is no pipe organ installed at this auditorium, but Mr. Olivera brought his own digital touring organ, which he designed. Actually he has two touring organs, and the one he brought is the somewhat smaller of the two. Smaller in size, we were told, but not in performance. Again from the program: “It is a Roland Atelier AT-900 Orchestral Touring Organ. It consists of eight units on wheels plus two small pieces. The organ console itself weighs about 450 pounds. There are also four large speaker units, 39 inches high and each weighing in at about 120 pounds. In addition, the large sub-woofer measures 30 inches high and weighs about 400 pounds. The seventh unit is the amplifier-mixer case, and of course there is a pedal board and bench.”

Mr. Olivera speaks English with a bit of an accent, and when he was telling us about bringing in his equipment, I thought he said something about the lack of “... a lovely duck.” Huh? I finally figured out he was complaining about the lack of a loading dock! But they got everything in the building.

What makes this gentleman and his equipment so amazing is both the variety of music he plays, and the clarity of sounds that come out of his instrument. He played classic pieces -- Bolero and a Bach piece. The Bach was the only one that sounded like a pipe organ. He played modern jazzy pieces, including a very jazzy sax solo. He played gypsy (pardon me) geepsy violin music, Stephen Foster music (with a bit of the William Tell Overture to lead off Camptown Races), George Gershwin music (American in Paris, complete with pedestrians, honking horns and barking dogs), as well as Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture, including the cannon at the end.

Did we enjoy it? That’s an understatement!

Office cartoons --

BEAUTY IS WHERE YOU FIND IT

2012-01-25T08:52:00.000-08:00

How about beautiful golf courses? Someone sent me a series of photos, and I only thought it fair to share them with you. I don’t know where these are, but a couple have cacti, which would give a pretty good clue.

Humor -

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus

BEFORE CHIPPER

2012-01-24T08:42:00.000-08:00

We had just gotten Pepper, and Amalie said she wanted a bird. A neighbor passed away, and we acquired Honey, a little male parakeet. I don’t know how old Honey was when she came here, but unfortunately he did not last long. I did run across these photos the other day.

“Helping” Amalie on the ironing board. Can you see the size difference?

This should give you a good idea of their disparate sizes.

They did hang out together. I don’t know whose shoe that is; not mine. They do love shoe strings.

Hey! Enough! My turn!

That’s better. I like chewing on this.

Okay, I’ve got one end. You have the other. Now who can we get to play jump rope.
Actually I caught them in the hall fighting over the string, but that was not the pic I caught.

Boy, all that playing, and tugging just wore us out!

Incidentally, Honey did talk. I remember saying to him, “Such a pretty bird!”, and him saying, “Such a bird.”

Humor --

Why Go to Church?

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."
"Why not?" she asked.
I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "(1), they don't like me, and (2), I don't like them."
His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church:
(1) You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!"

FANTASTIC!

2012-01-23T08:37:00.000-08:00

I keep having to come up with new superlatives. See if you agree that the word fits the following photos --
I don't know the location of these pics, with one exception.

That's the Golden Gate Bridge under the fog.

Humor --

Henry found out that he is allergic to beer, garlic, and paprika.
So he gave up garlic and paprika.

LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

2012-01-21T08:16:00.000-08:00

I was looking for something else, when I stumbled upon an old video. As best I can figure, it was taken around 1982-83. Frankly, the quality is pretty poor, and so the pics I pulled from it are of equally poor quality.

Now! A question for you. Look at the first three photos, and see if you can tell where we are. The third one is certainly a dead giveaway.

Where are we?

That's right! Yosemite National Park.

In the fourth and fifth, the woman is Amalie, my late wife. But who is the kid? He sure has a happy, buck tooth grin in the sixth.

Finally, this guy is trying to get out the door in the seventh.

And there I am, recognizable to those of you who have met me. But I'm about three inches shorter now.

Yeah, the youngster is Cliff, at about age 11 or 12. Just for the record, Amalie convinced some

agency in Santa Clara County to pay to have Cliff’s teeth straightened. Take a look.

T-Shirt humor -

~ On the front: 60 IS NOT OLD... On the back: IF YOU'RE A TREE

~ AT MY AGE, "GETTING LUCKY" MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT

~ MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED

~ LIFE IS SHORT. MAKE FUN OF IT

~ IT'S MY CAT'S WORLD--I'M JUST HERE TO OPEN CANS

TYPEWRITER ART, concluded

2012-01-20T08:47:00.000-08:00

Enjoy some more of Paul Smith’s typewriter art work --

Fun --

ANOTHER EXCERPT FROM BBC QUIZ PROGRAMS -

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester

JUSTICE IS SERVED

2012-01-19T08:54:00.000-08:00

I have been following in the local paper, a lawsuit by a giant in the bicycle industry against a tiny, two person bicycle manufacturer. Both firms make high end bikes -- four to five thousand dollars each. The giant accused the tiny one of stealing the giant’s secret designs. The tiny firm countered by saying that the giant simply did not want any competition, and wanted to drive Tiny out of business.

It seems both of the individuals at Tiny (named Volagi) had worked at Giant, and Giant contended that one of the two fellow began planning his own competing company while working at Giant Not supposed to do that.

As the trial progressed, the judge threw out many of Giant’s claims, the most important being the claim of theft of trade secrets. Nonetheless, the jury found that the one former employee had violated his contract obligations because he began planning his own firm while still employed by Giant.

As a result, Giant was awarded damages

in

the

stupendous

amount

of

--

--

--

Keep going

--

--

Almost there

--

--

One dollar!

Both sides claimed victory. Giant released a statement claiming to be satisfied with the amount awarded because “... the lawsuit was a matter of principle.”

In the meantime, Tiny (Volagi) is still in business.

So who won? It makes a difference, as each side spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees. Both sides can seek reimbursement, claiming that they won. Pardon me, while I go eat a piece of chocolate.

Fun --

From the court house to the office -- cartoons, that is. Thank you, Marty.

JUST A TYPEWRITER

2012-01-18T10:01:00.000-08:00

He lived at Rose Haven Nursing Home, in Roseburg , Oregon for years. Paul Smith, the man with extraordinary talent was born on September 21, 1921, with severe cerebral palsy. Not only had Paul beaten the odds of a life with spastic cerebral palsy, a disability that impeded his speech and mobility but also taught himself to become a master artist as well as a terrific chess player even after being devoid of a formal education as a child.

When typing, Paul used his left hand to steady his right one. Since he couldn't press two keys at the same time, he almost always locked the shift key down and made his pictures using the symbols at the top of the number keys. In other words, his pictures were based on these characters ..... @ # $ % ^ & * ( )_ . Across seven decades, Paul created hundreds of pictures. He often gave the originals away. Sometimes, but not always, he kept or received a copy for his own records. As his mastery of the typewriter grew, he developed techniques to create shadings, colors, and textures that made his work resemble pencil or charcoal drawings."

This great man passed away on June 25, 2009, but left behind a collection of his

amazing artwork that will be an inspiration for many.

Humor --

EXCERPT FROM BBC QUIZ PROGRAMS

BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with “What A Wonderful World?”
Contestant: I don't know.
Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm
Stewart White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant: Strong.
Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis
Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song “What A Wonderful World?”
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

A RARE TREAT

2012-01-17T11:58:00.000-08:00

Would you believe! An albino hummingbird!

Fifteen-year-old photographer Marlin Shank was fortunate enough to capture several images of a rare albino ruby-throated hummingbird while in a park in Staunton , Va

Very high quality photographs for such a fleeting subject.

I'd always thought that albinos had red eyes, but perhaps that is not always so.

Humor -- T-shirt humor --

~ EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE

~ DANGEROUSLY UNDER-MEDICATED

~ MY MIND WORKS LIKE LIGHTNING--ONE BRILLIANT FLASH AND IT'S GONE.

~ LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE, THE PREACHER WON'T HAVE TO TELL LIES AT YOUR FUNERAL

SCENERY

2012-01-16T08:05:00.000-08:00

These photos have just a bit of a twist to them -- most lovely, some - what? - just a bit -- um -- with a bit of a twist. And a couple of probably unneeded comments from me. Have a look --

Waiting for the storm.

If the Toucan, you can.

Looks almost unreal

Toothless in Seattle?

Humor --

Freddie found himself in serious trouble. His business had gone bust and he was in dire financial straits. He was so desperate that he decided to ask God for help. He began to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."

Lottery night came, and somebody else won.

He again prayed... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lottery night came and he still had no luck.

Once again, he prayed... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You. Please let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens opened. Freddie was overwhelmed by the voice of God, Himself...."Freddie, work with Me on this... Buy a ticket."

GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE, SEVERAL YEARS LATER

2012-01-14T09:35:00.000-08:00

I must have been 14 or 15 years old when my nephew Jack, another friend and I decided that the thing to do was to ride our bikes across the Golden Gate Bridge. I suppose we were on summer vacation, because the weather was warm.

At the time we lived near the south side of the city, and the bridge is at the north end. So off we went -- across 19th Avenue, through Golden Gate Park, over Doyle Drive, and onto the bridge. When we paid the toll, which wasn’t much, we learned to our horror that we had to walk the bikes, not ride them! Well, all right. It is a beautiful view, and it was a beautiful day. So being law-abiding young citizens, we walked. It wasn’t nearly as crowded as when my dad walked.

Having been driven across the bridge many times since the opening, I remembered that there was a twisty back road down into Sausalito, the first town on the other side of the bridge. (Which reminds me of a joke by Jack Benny, if I can recall it all.) Anyway, we went sailing down the back road into the little town of Sausalito, and that was a lot of fun. Then we road across town on the level adjacent to the bay where that little road intersects with the main north-south highway.

We may have had some lunch, and then it was time to head back. Well, we had to go back by way of the main highway (at least we thought we did) in order to be on the correct side of the bridge going home. The first stretch was a lo o o ng uphill hike - we walked - until we got to the top of the grade. That was not fun! And then back on the bikes, and swo o o osh down the road onto the bridge. That was fun! Of course we had to walk across the bridge again, and we headed home.

I really don’t remember, but it must have taken us all day. I do remember my mother asking us when we got in, “Where have you guys been all day?” I suppose we told her.

**
I know, I know. I said we had to walk our bikes across the bridge, and the photos show people riding. Perhaps the policy was changed at some later date.
**

Humor --

My sister Frances (Jack’s mother) used to take me to plays and such. One time Jack Benny was in person on-stage at one of the downtown theaters, and Fran took me. Part of Benny’s routine was to extol the virtues of San Francisco from its beautiful hills, to its lovely buildings, to the friendly people, and on and on, and on. He continued by talking about the beautiful Golden Gate Bridge, and the gorgeous view to be had, and again on and on in this praising manner. He must have been saying all this for a good five minutes, when he ended up with (and I probably don’t have this exactly right, but close), still in his voice of praise, “...and when you get to the other side of this marvelous bridge, what do you find?” Slightly disgusted tone, “Sausalito.”

DIFFERENT

2012-01-13T08:45:00.000-08:00

Unusual? Weird? Let’s just say that these photos are different from anything I’ve ever seen before.

The airport on Maldives is located on a man-made island right in the middle of the Indian Ocean.

The longest traffic jam in the world was created in China, about 175 miles.
(And we complain about traffic around here!)

These desert flowers bloom once every few years.

House of Rizz, Germany. Looks like a house of cards.

Restaurant on a cliff on the east coast of Zanzibar.

Depending on the waves that day, you can walk, or take a boat.

These trees grow in the Grifino forest of Poland. The reason for the curve is unknown.

Funny --

A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.  The boy asked, “What is this, father?” The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life; I don't know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The  walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls  light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.   Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous young blonde stepped out.   The father, not taking his eyes off the woman, said quietly to his son.....   ”Go get your mother.”

75th ANNIVERSARY

2012-01-12T09:06:00.000-08:00

This morning’s paper announced that the City of San Francisco “has launched a yearlong 75th anniversary of the opening of the iconic Golden Gate Bridge...”

From Wikipedia --
“It has been declared one of the modern Wonders of the World by the American Society of Civil Engineers. The Frommers travel guide considers the Golden Gate Bridge ‘possibly the most beautiful, certainly the most photographed, bridge in the world’.”

“The bridge-opening celebration began on May 27, 1937 and lasted for one week. The day before vehicle traffic was allowed, 200,000 people crossed by foot and roller skate.”

And therein lies a personal tale. Vehicle traffic was allowed on May 28, and that must be the day (evening, actually) that I remember. I was not quite 7 years old, as my birthday is in June. That evening when my dad came home he suggested we all pile in our new Buick, and go for a ride across the newly opened Golden Gate Bridge. So after dinner, that is what we did. So did 90 gazillion other people.

By the time we reached the bridge, traffic was creeping along. My sister’s husband Mark was driving, and at one point my dad said he wanted to get out and and walk. He was in his bedroom slippers. There was no problem in his getting out of the car and onto the bridge sidewalk, and we continued to drive across the bridge. We then turned around to return to the city. Somewhere along the way we realized that pop was on the other side of the road -- even if we could see him! So Mark continued across the bridge and turned into Doyle Drive which has a couple of turnouts, where we stopped. Soon a highway patrolman on a motorcycle stopped to ask if we needed help. We explained the situation (I suppose my dad’s description was given, along with the bedroom slippers), and off went the cop. A while later, he comes back, with pop riding behind him. Pop looked pleased as punch, whether about the motorcycle ride, or the walk on the bridge, or both. Great memory!

Other fun --

SKELETON :
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE :
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW :
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN :
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES :
Something other people have. You have character lines.

SCARY

2012-01-11T09:10:00.000-08:00

Once again I grabbed these from a video. Now I have been instructed in no uncertain terms that I may not post these scary type pictures along with any knitting joke. Rest assured that at the moment I am out of knitting jokes.

Shooting the rapids

Hey! it’s wet!

The next three are a sequence. Can you tell what is going on?

Hey, fella, the skis are supposed to be on your feet!

ON YOUR FEET!

Ah! Oh! Yuck! Eek! Is that a safety rope he is attached to? No confi-- LOOK OUT!

Oooh, pretty!

And the last three are a sequence from the video.
Hey, mister, you’re supposed to get in before you take off!

Go on! Make a fool of yourself!

You’re almost in, and headed straight down. Clever!

A bit of humor to sober things up --

‘TWAS THE MONTH AFTER CHRISTMAS
From Kay Weeks

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...

I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter, disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like
(such as kolacky, dumplings, meringue cookies, and caramels)
must be banished
‘Til all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet!

I CAN BEAR-LY STAND IT

2012-01-10T08:59:00.000-08:00

Here are Norbert Rosing's striking images of a wild polar bear coming upon tethered sled dogs in the wilds of Canada 's Hudson Bay. (My comments are in italic.)

A pat on the head, or a bang on the shoulder?

Grabbing the dog for dinner, or just a hug?

The photographer was sure that he was going to see the end of his dogs when the polar bear wandered in.

Bite? The dog seems unafraid.

It's hard to believe that this polar bear only needed to hug someone!

Hey! What's going on here?

The Polar Bear returned every night that week to play with the dogs.

And now for the funny stuff --

This happened on a flight getting ready to depart for Detroit . Bob was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.

"What's the matter?" Bob asked.

"I've been transferred to Detroit , there are crazy people there. They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation."

Bob replied, "I've lived in Detroit all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the world."

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. By the what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."

FAW DOWN, GO BOOM!

2012-01-07T11:01:00.000-08:00

Or as the old song title has it, “I didn’t slip; I wasn’t pushed; I fell”. Actually, my left ankle turned over on me, and down I went. I was in pain, so Cliff drove me to the emergency room. Since I’d hit my head as well as my shoulder, they did a cat scan of the noggin, and x-rayed the shoulder. Results? No damage to the head; slight crack in clavicle. Yeah, it hurts, but only when I move. This too will pass.

How about something on the light side --

KOALA RELIEF!

2012-01-06T20:50:00.000-08:00

At 120 degrees in Australia, it was so hot that koalas were asking people for water. That’s never been seen before!

One went to a house to try to hide from the heat and get a bit of shade. Here’s what happened when the owner gave him something to drink.

This drinkable? Cool?

Hey, I might like this.

Just what I had in mind

I think I'll stay here for a while.

***
Note to Pegi - What is your blog url? Glad to see you on mine.
***

Humor --

INFLATION :
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MYTH:
A female moth.

MOSQUITO :
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN :
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET :
Something you tell to one person at a time.

AWESOME

2012-01-04T19:42:00.000-08:00

And maybe a bit scary! I took these from a video. Just watch.

Don’t look down!

The next six pics are a sequence of this skier. Have a look!

Wheeee!

I love the patterns!

Humor, specially for the knitters --

This is from a Pickles cartoon in the paper the other day. My wording is approximate, as the paper is gone --

Cast: Mr and Mrs Pickles, and their grandson, Nelson.

Situation: Mrs Pickles is knitting, and Nelson says, “Gee Grandma, you sure know how to knit good.”

Gramma, demurring: “Oh I’m not that good.”

Grampa: “She’s just being modest. Give her a ball of steel wool, and she’ll knit you a bicycle!”

THE DOGGIE BOWL

2012-01-04T19:21:00.000-08:00

No, this has nothing to do with football, or any other recognizable sport on television. Take a look!

Hmmm. Very tasty.

Think I’ll just take another little taste.

Well, I need to get closer in order to appreciate the flavor.

Maybe I’ll get the full flavor if I let it soak through my skin!

Humor --

~ I've reached the age where “happy hour” is a nap. 

~ The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 

~ Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!) 

~ Always be yourself because the people that matter, don't mind and the ones that mind, don't matter. 

~ Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

...AAAND, WE HAVE A WINNER!

2012-01-02T16:44:00.000-08:00

I was going through some old computer files the other day, and found some of Amalie’s recipes. One was for chicken (or beef) pot pie, which I gave to Eric to fix for us. Delicious! Another was her recipe for waffles, and if you like waffles you would love these. There is one slight difficulty, though. They are so light that they need to be eaten off the ceiling. Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but they are very light.

Now I have cooked in the past -- scrambled eggs, omelets, French toast, hot cakes -- but I had never prepared the waffles. So when I asked Cliff if he would like to give it a try, it was with some trepidation. He said ‘yes’, then ‘maybe’, then ‘ok’, then ‘next week’, and then yesterday he said, ‘I’ll do them tomorrow morning.’ Which he did! Success! Delicious!

Let me know if you want the recipe, and I’ll be happy to send it to you.

And speaking of eating, try this cartoon for an appetizer --

LILY AND MADDISON

2011-12-29T19:39:00.000-08:00

At first this had me puzzled. The still photos made Lily look like a sculpture. I checked Snopes, but could find nothing there. So I googled ‘Lily and Maddison’, and found that several British newspapers had this to say:

“Meet the blind Great Dane in need of a home (but you'll need to make space for HER huge guide dog). Maddison will lead and Lily will walk nearly touching her so she knows where to go. It’s lovely to watch. Maddison is always looking out for her”

“Lily is a Great Dane that has been blind since a bizarre medical condition required that she have both eyes removed. For the last five years, Maddison, another Great Dane, has been  her sight. The two are, of course, inseparable.”

Then the newspapers reported the following:

“Anne Williams, 52, and her husband Len, 53, a retired fireman, fell in love with the dogs when they read about them in the Mail and their offer was accepted by the trust."

"Mrs Williams, a business manager for an insurance company, said: ‘We've always had two dogs together, I like them to have company and so taking on two of them wasn't a daunting prospect. 'My daughter moved out five months ago, taking her two English setters with her, so the house has felt a little quiet without them.’”

Finally, I found a video of the two dogs, and if that’s a sculpture, it sure moves pretty fast!

Humor --

~ Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks? 

~ There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 

~ There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m.… It could be the right number. 

~ No one ever says, “It's only a game” when their team is winning.

OCTOBER, revisited

2011-12-29T16:58:00.000-08:00

Here it is, the dead of winter, and we may be longing for nicer climes. So let’s go back a few months and reminisce.

Fun --

~ One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 pounds.

~ The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 

~ If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all. 

~ Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

AMBITION TRUMPS BLINDNESS

2011-12-28T09:47:00.000-08:00

No self-pity. Not even a whiff of frustration. Just ambition and perseverance, gilded with humor: "If you Google 'blind actor Bay Area,' you'll find me," Brandon Keith Biggs says. You'll find news of the Mountain View resident's latest musical theater roles. What you won't find is this: the fact that he has kayaked, ice-skated -- and surfed. The 19-year-old, has been blind since birth.

Biggs is a Foothill College student, and aims to become a professional opera singer -- at New York's Metropolitan Opera, a goal that's about as easy to achieve as, oh, becoming a Major League Baseball player. “Be hungry for what you love,” he says. And Biggs is hungry. With unwavering support from his parents, he takes private voice lessons in Hayward and acting lessons in San Francisco. He studies Italian via Skype with a teacher in Italy, and he is about to do the same for German -- because any top-notch opera singer must sing fluently in numerous languages.

Over the past year, opera has become "my addiction," he says. He loves its stories, its passion, the discipline it demands. His dream is to sing the role of the villain Scarpia in Puccini's "Tosca." His idol is Welsh bass-baritone Bryn Terfel, a sighted superstar on stages worldwide: "Basically, I want to grow up and be Bryn Terfel," Biggs says.

Admittedly late to hard-core musical training, Biggs -- who lives independently in a Mountain View apartment -- studies piano and music theory and is learning to read music using Braille. All this is outside his studies at Foothill, where he hopes to graduate in the spring with a general music degree. Someday, he hopes to attend a top music conservatory.

"Brandon has a wonderful bass-baritone voice," says David Rohrbaugh, Opera San Jose's music director and principal conductor, who has coached Biggs in the past year. "There's a heightened awareness to his listening. He hears fine nuances, sounds, phrasing, vowels and consonants. He hears and quickly imitates, has a sharp memory -- and a beautiful smile."

One day in early November -- not long after Biggs had finished a run in Gilbert and Sullivan's "H.M.S. Pinafore," singing the role of a sailor with Lyric Theatre of San Jose -- his teachers dropped by his studio apartment, which is crowded with computers, school books and his new digital piano. There was Carla Frazier, his daily living skills teacher, who taught him to make cannolis and pizza from scratch. There was Alec Karp, his orientation and mobility teacher, who trained him in picking up audio cues for crossing dangerous streets.

Music was important to Biggs as a child, too. When he was 3, his father took him to see Newsboys, a contemporary Christian group. His mother sang him folk songs. He experimented with drums, violin, recorder, clarinet. At age 14, Biggs heard "Phantom of the Opera," which made him fall in love with singing.

That year, a visiting children's theater cast him in the role of a knight in "The Frog Prince."
Remembering this, Biggs breaks into song, mellow-voiced: Be a knight! Do what's right, helping when life isn't fair! His current voice teacher -- Pamela Hicks, in Hayward -- has told him to get to work if he hopes to reach his goals. "We're going to make you into a musician," he remembers her telling him. "You've been dabbling."

There's much to master: the endless mechanics of singing, as well as the vast operatic repertoire. Biggs says he's confident that he can work hard enough. "I've got loads to learn, I know, and I'm hungry," he says. "And like my music teacher says: With opera, once you're hooked, you're hooked. I want the rest of my life to be opera."

UNUSUAL

2011-12-28T09:39:00.000-08:00

Here are some of what I consider unusual photographs. I could identity a few of them.

Buildings in Dubai

Storm in Montana

Turquoise lake, New Zealand

Humor --

***
The Reservations

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.
He wrote: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel.

And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

CLICK & CLACK STRIKE AGAIN

2011-12-25T14:33:00.000-08:00

I was silently reading the Click and Clack column the other morning when suddenly I said aloud “No, no, no, no!” Startled, Cliff looked up and said, “What?” So I read him the following:

“Dear Tom and Ray:
My husband is 68 and I am 72, and the following has been a lifelong argument. We have a small gravelly hill leading to our driveway. When it is icy, my husband insists on driving (or sliding) down the hill in neutral.” To which Cliff immediately responded with, “No, no! You lose control of the car in neutral!”

Which is precisely what Tom and Ray went on to explain. End of lesson for the day.

More daffynitions --

COMMITTEE :
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST :
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST :
Someone me-deep in conversation

GOSSIP :
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF :
Cold Storage.

IMPERIAL CHINESE VASE

2011-12-24T15:28:00.000-08:00

To say this is astonishing is an understatement. This posting appears all by itself because I could not conceive of anything that could possibly go with it.

An Imperial Chinese vase, thought to have been kept at the royal palace in Beijing's Forbidden City, which sold for more than £9 million at auction at Bonhams auction house in London. The buyer, from the Chinese mainland, paid £9,001,250, making the vase the highest-priced Asian artwork to be sold in London this year. Its pre-sale estimate was £5 million to £8 million but it went for a higher price following a bidding war between three separate phone buyers.

(A British pound sterling is about $1.50 U.S.)

MORE SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL

2011-12-24T15:11:00.000-08:00

Relax and enjoy these --

Humor --

Three Brazilian men were in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.

A HOLIDAY WISH

2011-12-24T11:18:00.000-08:00

We wish the best for all

When on the move,

Or simply having fun,

or just relaxing together!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND THE BEST IN THE NEW YEAR!

WHERE DID IT GO?

2011-12-22T14:00:00.000-08:00

My wrist watch is not waterproof, so I take it off before showering. As I did the other evening. Put it on the night stand.

When I came out of the shower, I picked it up and put on the corner of the bed next to my pillow, turned around and sat down. After I put on my night shirt, I reached for my watch ... reached for ... WHERE DID IT GO? “CLIFF!! What?” “I can’t find my watch.” He comes into the bedroom. “Where did you put it?” he asks. “Right there on the corner of the bed,” says I, pointing. He gets down on his knees (I can’t do that and expect to get up again) and peers under the bed. Under the pillow. Under the blankets. No watch.

Given my lousy memory, I think maybe I picked it up and put it on the turned back blankets, which are now scrunched up. So I say to Cliff, “When I stand up, pull the blankets back and see if they are in the folds.” As I start to stand, Cliff says, “There it is,” as he picks it up off the floor right at my feet. It hadn’t been there a minute ago. Where had it been? I’d been sitting on it!

The moral of the story? No sense; no feeling.

Other funny stuff --

DAFFY-NITIONS

ADULT :
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR :
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL :
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS :
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL

2011-12-21T16:56:00.000-08:00

These photos came from various sources. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Humor --

Watch out for this scam!!!!!

Police say that the gang usually is comprised of four members, one adult and three younger ones.  While the three younger ones, all appearing sweet and innocent, divert their "mark" (or intended target) with a show of friendliness, the fourth -- the eldest -- sneaks in from behind the person's back to expertly rifle through his or her pocket or purse for any valuables.
Be on the alert!!!

FASCINATING ANIMALS, part 2

2011-12-21T16:14:00.000-08:00

Enjoy a few more of these fascinating friends:

If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times -- GET DOWN FROM THERE!

As I see it, you’ve not been flossing enough.

I’m not talking to you!
And I’m not talking to you!

Who dat down dere?

We’re blue ‘cause we’re sad.
(I was trying to come up with something about 'talk to you 'til blue in the face', but without success)

Scram! That monster is back!

Now here is why I called this meeting ...

***

True story --

I'm reminded me of the time Amalie and I went with a group to Ashland, Oregon for the Shakespeare festival. At the outdoor theater we had seats down front, which concerned me because there were rain clouds threatening. I don't remember which play it was, but there was a continual change of reign. At the end of one act, an actor proclaimed, "Let the reign begin!" And sure enough, it started to rain.

POLLINATION

2011-12-20T19:24:00.000-08:00

What are some of the agents of pollination? Try birds, bees, bats and butterflies. I gathered these photos from a video that was emailed to me.

Funny video

FASCINATING!

2011-12-20T09:41:00.000-08:00

Here is a variety of birds and animals you may find interesting. I'm responsible for the captions.

Oh! I'm gorgeous!

I’m so graceful!

Ok, guys, how we gonna get him outta there?

All together now ... YAWN!

What can I say? The heater broke.

Go away! I’m napping!

Round and round we go...

Ain’t I the cutest thing!

The Darwin Awards. These Annual Honors are given to the persons who did the human gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

This year's winner was a genuine Rocket Scientist...no kidding!

Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.   Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off...actually a solid-fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his 1967 Chevy Impala into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO.  The facts that could be determined are that the operator of the Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of about three miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location.  The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within five seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.   The driver, and soon-to-be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event.

However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable.

  Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.

COME FLY WITH ME

2011-12-17T12:30:00.000-08:00

My thanks to Brende for sending me this one.

***

After all that, do you really want a bit of humor?

I have a perfectly dreadful pun, and if you don't like puns, I suggest that you skip this one.

Rudolph Kavnikoff is a member of the Communist Party in Russia, and he is known for his obstinancy,
especially when he thinks he is right, which is most of the time. One evening he comes home from work and tells his wife that it is raining outside.
"No, dear," she says, "it's snowing."
"I said it's raining!"
"Snowing."
"Raining!"
"Snowing"
"Look, wife," he says, "Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!"

ONCE IN A LIFETIME

2011-12-14T15:39:00.000-08:00

An amateur stargazer who surveyed the night sky every day for a year to capture the perfect shot finally struck gold after snapping this picture of a moon circling Jupiter - using a £20 web cam. David Billington, 56, captured the phenomenon using a 12in telescope attached to the bargain web cam which he bought down his local computer store. After 12 months patiently waiting for the perfect shot, he finally managed to capture one of Jupiter's four moons, Europa, circling the giant planet. Previous attempts at the shot were thwarted as it required the perfect conditions, which included dry weather, clear skies and the planet, moon and sun all being aligned.

Europa is that little white 'marble' on the right side of the photo. That looks like the moon's shadow just to the left a bit. What may be even more fascinating is that scientists believe there may be liquid water beneath the surface of that tiny moon. Europa is covered with ice, and the ice has deep ridges in it that astronomers have reason to think is caused by liquid water moving because of Jupiter's pull of gravity. (From DISCOVER magazine).

HUMOROUS QUOTES

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side of the bed.
Stuart Turner

When they told me that by the year 2100 women would rule the world, my reply was ‘Still?’
Winston Churchill

To attract men, I wear a perfume called, ‘New Car Interior.”
Rita Rudner

I want a man who is kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
Zsa Zsa Gabor.

A HAT-VERSATION

2011-12-14T14:40:00.000-08:00

I must thank some of my blog followers for keeping me apprised of the proper protocol in certain situations. For example, the following email conversation took place after I had posted those last photos of me and my new knit hat --

Your hat could not have found a better home! Just look at all the fun it's having! Excellent! (I do believe the hat looked happiest at Avenidas and least happy at the bank.)
LynnM

Me--
There was no problem at the bank, but Cliff was giving me a bit of a bad time about taking the photo.
Yes, I think the Avenidas pics were the best. At least I was standing up.
Don

Not YOU, the HAT. I could tell it was not having a good time. Next time, do the hat a favor and don't take it to the bank. It obviously does not like banks. Leave it in the car for a happy nap while you do your banking. You don't want to push the hat into doing too many things it does not enjoy. I'm sure Diana will agree.

Remember, these snaps aren't about "you", they're about showing the hat a good time (and if you have fun, that's fine, too!)
L.

Me--
Yes, Ma'am. Thank you for keeping me on the right track. I'll have to find another hat to wear at the bank -- the serious kind, not one that is looking for a good time.
Don

***

This bit of humor has nothing to do with the previous exchange --

A burglar breaks into a house one night. He shines his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark says, 'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumps out of his skin, clicks his flashlight off, and freezes.When he hears nothing more, after a bit, he shakes his head and continues.Just as he pulls the stereo out so he can disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he hears 'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shines his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam comes to rest on a parrot.

Did you say that?' he hisses at the parrot.

'Yep', says the parrot, then squawks, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'

The burglar relaxes. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'

'Moses,' replies the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughs. 'What kind of people would name a bird
Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS

2011-12-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

... here at our mobile home park. See for yourself --

I've been wondering how penguins got in on the act.

***

And in somewhat the same vein --
a bit of holiday humor --

Hi Sweetheart,
I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights. I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something.   I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy. All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season.   Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights! I took the time to hang the lights for you today and now I will be off to the golf course.   Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I'll be home later.  
Love you

NOT MY IDEA

2011-12-12T19:37:00.000-08:00

Several days ago, I posted a photo of me in a colorful knit hat. One of my followers suggested I have more pics taken and post them. So, as the title suggests, this is not my idea. Nonetheless, I thought these came out reasonably well, of the hat, I mean. You are entitled to your own opinion.

Hat and I at breakfast

Getting out of the car

At the doctor's office

At the bank

Grocery shopping

The next three photos were taken at Avenidas.

Here I am, hat and all, standing by one of the Christmas trees.

Beautiful tree, nice hat, and guess who.

This last one shows how popular I am.

Or is it the hat?

Fun --

IF YOU SEE A FAT MAN,

Who's jolly and cute,

Wearing a beard and
a red flannel suit,

And if he is chuckling

and laughing away,

While flying around
in a miniature sleigh,
With eight tiny reindeer
to pull him along,

Then let's face it...

Your eggnog's too strong!

Merry Christmas and
a Happy 2O12

WINTER WONDERLAND

2011-12-11T15:23:00.001-08:00

Diana had the following photos on her blog, and she gave me permission to share them. She said,

"We more usually get the blue skies when the deep cold comes, closer to January. More often in November and December it is gray like it is today.

My favorite (visually) is a day when there is snow on the ground and we had an overnight ice storm. It looks like every twig and bush is coated with crystal.

Of course those days make driving anywhere dangerous and tend to bring down trees onto power lines. I took these photos in the back yard a few years ago."

Then she had another group which I’m allowed to share. She titled these

“Winter hits softly”

Just a bit of humor --

Praying for Leroy
"Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher says.

Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray
about for you."?

Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy.

After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks,"Leroy, how is your hearing now?"?

Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't til next Wednesday!"

A HAPPY HOLIDAY TO YOU ALL!

2011-12-11T11:29:00.001-08:00

RIDDLE PLUS

2011-12-09T19:46:00.001-08:00

Today's Riddle for Seniors..

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off.

And on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo.

What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation safely?
See answer below.

***

The Ultimate Answer (Nothing to do with the quiz)

Apple has a Personal Assistant on its iPhone 4s called Siri that you talk to. It (or ‘she’, since it is a female voice) can send messages, schedule meetings, place phone calls, and much more. But my mentioning it is not an ad for Apple. Apparently Siri ”understands” what you say and can talk back. Now some folks have discovered that Siri will answer more esoteric questions, such as, “What is the meaning of life?”

Turns out she/it has an assortment of answers to that question, including:

“I don’t know. But I think there’s an app for that.”

“Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in and try to live in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”

“I give up.”

“Life: a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings. I guess that includes me.”

“To think about questions like this.”

“42.” (Sorry, Russ and Sandy. I think I gave you the wrong number.)

“Life: the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter including the capacity for growth, reproduction functional activity and continual change preceding death.”

“I can’t answer that now, but give me some time to write a very long play in which nothing happens.”

And my favorite:

“All evidence to date suggests it’s chocolate.”

***

Answer to quiz

Get off the merry-go-round before you hurt yourself!

EXPRESSIONS

2011-12-07T10:56:00.001-08:00

Just in case you don't recognize certain expressions, we bring you the following --

This is what SORRY looks like

This is what TIRED looks like

This is what BAD SPELLING looks like

This is what INTIMACY looks like

This is what COURAGE looks like

This is what GOOD GRIEF looks like

This is what I CAN WAIT looks like

This is what IMPATIENCE looks like

This is what HELPING HAND looks like

This is what COLD looks like

This is what BAD MOOD looks like

This is what MOTHERING looks like

Humor --

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in the United States' capital this Christmas season.

This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find three wise men in the nation's capitol.

There was no problem finding enough asses to fill the stable.

HEAD WARMER

2011-12-06T19:56:00.001-08:00

Diana said she had some knit caps for sale, and one caught my eye.

This is my Christmas present to me. Waddya think?

Other funny things --

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?
For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.

Just wondering -- what is the difference between a wise man and a wise guy?

And then there is the fellow who asked the gardener if he watered the blooming idiots.

FUN FIRST

2011-12-06T11:15:00.001-08:00

That's because it is a riddle, to wit --

Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips. 

This may come as a surprise to you, if you don’t live in Las Vegas, but there are more Catholic churches than casinos. Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday Services will give casino chips rather than cash when the collection plate is passed.

Since they get chips fom many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to convert the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastary for sorting, and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.

Who is this done by? Answer below.

***

Lately Pepper has been in egg laying mode, wherein she gets into her waste basket, hereinafter called "The Bucket". It has a ladder for her to get up and down. While she is there she condones no intrusions whatever. Ever hear a bird snarl?

But this time it's a bit different. Some days she is in The Bucket; some days, no. Like today. She is all over me. Wants her head rubbed. NOW! Oh, well, this, too, shall pass.

***

GAMBLING CHIPS ANSWER

The Chip Monks.

REMARKABLE PICS

2011-12-05T16:47:00.001-08:00

People keep sending me beautiful/fascinating/unusual/remarkable photos. The least I can do is share them with you.

Dang! This food is too far off the ground!

Yeah, someone dumped a bucket of blue paint on me.

Coming in for a parachute like landing.

Ya like my new hat?

I’m not really a one-legged owl.

I thank you, Lord, for this food I am about to eat.

The masked stranger strikes again!

Mine! No, Mine!

Eat!

That is so funny!

I’m gonna catch that!

I see you!

Fun, of sorts --

Army Helicopter Crash

While practicing autorotation during a military night training exercise a Huey Cobra screwed up the landing and landed on the tail rotor. The landing was so hard that it broke off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remained upright on its skids, sliding down the runway doing 360s.
As the Cobra slid past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this was the radio exchange that took place...
Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know Tower, we ain't done crashin' yet."

MORE MARVELOUS ANIMAL PHOTOS

2011-12-02T20:20:00.001-08:00

To my mind, these are remarkable. See if you agree.

I be de judge heah

Hey! One at a time!

I am NOT near-sighted. I see you perfectly well.

Kangaroo? Or other pouchy animal?

Aaah, shaddap!

Turn off the sprinklers!

Let's see what food falls in.

Really! I'm not related to the porcine family.

(Singing) First ya put your right foot out in space ...

Honest! There's two of us!

A bit of humor --

Ask a woman how she feels, and she'll tell you about every relationship she's ever been in. Ask a man how he feelms, and he will tell you he feels like a pizza.

No woman ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

The best way to get a husband to do anything is to suggest that he's too old to do it.

BOMB SCARE

2011-12-01T18:25:00.001-08:00

The following article appeared in the local media a couple of days ago. Did not look like good news:

SAN JOSE (CBS SF) — Police responded to reports of a suspicious package in a mail collection box near a U.S. Postal Service mail processing facility in San Jose Tuesday afternoon. A customer leaving the post office at 1750 Lundy Ave. saw a man wearing a gas mask and what looked like a bulletproof vest, said Gus Ruiz, a spokesman for the postal service. San Jose police Sgt. Jason Dwyer said that a passerby reported seeing a suspicious person run up to the box wearing a mask, drop something inside it and run away at 12:16 p.m.Customers and workers were evacuated from that part of the building, Ruiz said.A robot and an officer wearing a protective blast suit checked the mail collection boxes and it was determined that the package was harmless, Dwyer said. Police were able to single out the suspicious package and the rest of the mail was unharmed.
Gus Ruiz said he has been with the U.S. Postal Service’s San Jose branch since 1984, and said that no other bomb scares have occurred under his watch.

Then the following turned up in the media the following day:

Masked Man Explains Attire That Caused San Jose Bomb Scare
December 1, 2011 12:02 AM

29-year-old Long Hoang said he wore this mask and vest to a post office in San Jose on November 29, 2011. The bomb squad showed up soon after and detonated a package he stuffed into a mailbox, which turned out to be harmless. (CBS)

SAN JOSE (CBS 5) – A masked man’s recent visit to a San Jose post office led to a response by the bomb squad. But the student at the center of Tuesday’s bomb scare has an explanation for his attire.
The first reports were unnerving: a man wearing a mask stuffed a package into a mailbox at the busiest post office in San Jose Tuesday afternoon.
The bomb squad, firefighters, and the postal inspector closed down nearby streets. After four hours, a robot blew up the package, which turned out not to be dangerous.

What the paper explained, but was not in the online article, was that Long Hoang was wearing special exercise gear to lose weight, including what looks like a gas mask. See for yourself.

Lesson to be learned? Don't exercise near the post office.

Food Fun --

Everyone's a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian between meals.
Coleman McCarthy

I did not become a vegetarian for my health; I did it for the health of the chickens.
Isaac Bashevis Singer

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Anonymous

CLEVER PHOTOGRAPHY

2011-11-29T14:30:00.001-08:00

Some funny; some cute. Enjoy!

Scratch a little further down

Just had my nails done. Don't want to get 'em wet.

All together now -- la la la...

...and dozey doates ...

I'm bearly making it today.

I like it up here.

Turn right at the next corner.

Like Ferdinand, I love flowers.

(Yes, that's a cockatiel)

I'm not cross-eyed! That's my normal look!

Ain't I the cutest! When's Easter?

Fun --

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his ice cream cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

DELUXE SERVICE

2011-11-29T14:22:00.001-08:00

Yesterday morning I had my nails done -- manicure and pedicure. No, no polish. Now if you think I’m indulging myself, you’re right. But I am quite incapable of trimming my own nails, any of the twenty. I’ve been going to the same shop for many years now, and while there has been some turnover in the hired help, the quality has remained high.

But yesterday I got a bit of a surprise. The shop owner asked if I wanted my fingernails and toenails done at the same time. Well, yeah, sure. So there I was, sitting on my scooter (the seat turns) while two lovely Vietnamese ladies worked on me. There was a problem, though. My left hand likes to curl up, and yesterday it was most stubborn. At one point there where three of us trying to get the hand open enough to be worked on. Finally made it. Cliff took this photo for me later in the day, and you can see how difficult it can be.
Open, O Sesame!

Humor --

A bee’s front end is good and kind
But never trust a bee’s behind.
A bee can sting if it can sit,
So always stay in front of it.

THANKSGIVING AND OTHER EVENTS

2011-11-26T20:30:00.001-08:00

I really must say what a great Thanksgiving Cliff and I had! We, along with two others, were invited to the home of Russ and Sandy. They had a magnificent spread, and that was just the noon time snacks. This photo (thank you, Sandy) shows five of us. Sandy was taking the picture. I look as if I’m saying, “Why are you
interrupting my salad? Marvelous food, great and sometimes hilarious conversation. Oh, and I mustn’t forget J.D. and Snickers! They are the timekeepers.

Okay, I suppose I should explain. The 6 of us sat down to dinner at 4 p.m. Promptly at 5, the timekeepers let Russ and Sandy know what time it was, so Sandy had to go and feed these two lovely ladies -- the two golden retrievers.

Now if you believe as I do that I took a lousy photo, I have a recent alternative. Our good friend Boyd was celebrating his 90th birthday. He helped his daughter put this event together to which a goodly number of friends, including Cliff and I, were invited. In the invitation we were told that we would be given the opportunity to make comments, congratulatory or otherwise, if we so wished. So here I am, making my comments.

Now here is a photo of Boyd, who was standing right behind me at the time. He looks less 90 years old than I, do you agree?

A small bit of humor --

I always start running in the fall… Not all of me, just my nose.

***
CHANGING SEASONS

I just love the foliage on the first day of November when the colors change instantly
from orange and black to red and green.

OUR SOLAR SYSTEM

2011-11-25T15:32:00.001-08:00

Most of it, anyway. Here is our sun, the planets, and one rather peculiar object.

The following photos were taken by the Hubble telescope.

Here is our sun, shown with its atmosphere

Mercury is the planet nearest the sun.

Venus has an extensive cloud cover, but

here it is without its clouds.

Our earth with a full moon.

And earth showing a new moon.

Next out is the red planet Mars

Jupiter is the largest planet in our solar system.

Saturn is considered to be the most beautiful in the system.

Uranus -- a big blue dot.

Neptune

Okay, here is the peculiar object. This is Pluto, and was recently downgraded from a planet to a new category

of dwarf planet. Hope we didn't hurt its feelings, but it is even smaller than some moons in the Solar System.

In addition it has a highly elliptical orbit that brings it inside the orbit of Neptune. Go figure.

Fun -

A man in Florida calls his son in California two days before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough." “Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Denver and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she
shouts. "I'll take care of this. "

She calls Florida immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing! DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up the phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says. "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

WHY YOU SHOULD CARRY A CAMERA

2011-11-25T14:28:00.001-08:00

Unusual pictures show up all over he place. For instance ...

Carry gently

Look what's for dinner!

Not twins

Push! Push!

WAHOO!

Keeping dry

Hey! Gently!

Outa my way! I'm comin' through!

Humor --

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before."What seems to be the problem, madam?""I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way.

FALL COLORS

2011-11-22T09:53:00.001-08:00

New England is noted for its beautiful fall colors, but believe it or not, some of our trees, way out here in California, also make an autumnal change of dress. Cliff was driving while I was snapping shots, so a few are a bit on the fuzzy side. Cliff said it gave them an artsy look. But the color is obvious, even on a cloudy day. See for yourself.

I minimized the fuzzy pics by reducing the size. Here is a fuzzy example--

As long as we're showing photographic differences, here are two versions of a photo of Pepper that happened to be in the same group --

This is the original photo

And Photoshopped

Which do you prefer?

And now a bit of humor to finish off the day --

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, 'When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?'
Artie said: ' I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.'

Eugene commented: 'I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives.'

Al said: 'I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2011-11-21T19:38:00.001-08:00

I saw this line the other day --

"On Thanksgiving day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment -- halftime.'

And that seems to appropriately go with this cartoon sent to me by Margaret --

I hope this doesn't turn into a tradition!

OWLS, conclusion

2011-11-20T19:11:00.001-08:00

What can I say, except that most all forms of wildlife are fascinating!

I'd take off, but I seem to be tethered.

Yeah, these kids are all mine.

Dinner time!

I'm a teenager. If you want to see a really young one, wait 'til you get to the last one.

I'm Darth Vader

I'm on the day shift.

I got my eyes on you!

Ready for take-off

Whoo was the question?

Ain't we cute!

They may be cute, but I'm adorable.

Humor -

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, 'So which six items would you like to buy?'

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

2011-11-20T10:06:00.001-08:00

Very expressive, I must say!

Ahhh, so good to relax!

Aw, shucks, I didn't win an Oscar.

Go, go, go!

I'm sooo embarrassed!

I'm not gonna like this

I didn't say that!

I'll get him while he's asleep!

Ooohh, that's cold!

I swear! The fish was THIS big!

Don't you look at me like that!

BEAUTIFUL ANTARCTICA

2011-11-19T16:00:00.001-08:00

Some of these are from stills, and a few I took from a video.
Enjoy!

Say 'Cheese'

Small ones

Smaller ones

Fun -

Bessie and Myrtle have been friends for many years. One day Bessie says to Myrtle, “You have such soft beautiful skin! How do you do it?”
“I take milk baths,” says Myrtle.
“Really? Is it pasteurized?”
“No,” says Myrtle, pointing to her waist. “Just up to here.”

CHRISTMAS DELIVERY

2011-11-17T15:52:00.001-08:00

Slender and clean-shaven, Duane Brusseau won't be mistaken for Santa Claus as he drives across America this month to make a special Christmas delivery. But the 65-year-old retired truck driver from San Jose is sure to bring some holiday joy all his own as he guides a new Mack truck splashed in green and red from Sonora to the nation's capital.

Brusseau has the unique job of hauling a 60-foot Sierra white fir from the Stanislaus National Forest outside of Sonora to Washington D.C., where it will take its place this holiday season as the "People's Tree" on the front lawn of the U.S. Capitol. Along the way, Brusseau and an entourage, including wife Bobbie and armed federal agents, will stop at a number of small towns and big cities to show off the tree at parades, swap meets and skating rinks.

"I feel fortunate to have this" job, said Brusseau, who is a volunteer driver. "It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. To tour the country for a worthy cause and meet all these people and make a lot of little kids happy, it's kind of overwhelming. "I'm really thrilled about this whole thing."

The holiday tour unofficially kicked off as the 118-year-old tree was paraded through downtown Sonora hours after being cut down.

California was selected this year by the U.S. Forest Service to provide the Capitol Christmas Tree. The U.S. Forest Service has provided the official tree since 1970.

The convoy will also collect and deliver 5,000 handmade ornaments from children and adults in California, which will be placed on the tree in time for the lighting ceremony Dec. 6. The group is also collecting nonperishable foods during the tour of California, which will be delivered during the stop in Gallup, N.M.

To make sure the tree is not a pile of dry pine leaves when it finally arrives at the Capitol, it is carefully placed on its side inside a custom-made cradle that supports the branches, preventing damage while maintaining the tree's shape, according to the Forest Service. The base of the tree has been fitted with a rubber "bladder" that is filled nightly with water. The 8,300-pound tree is expected to absorb about 60 gallons of water daily on its journey to Washington, D.C.

The Forest Service is also providing an online tracking service that allows people to track the tree. The Forest Service credits private donations for making the Capitol Tree program possible.
Once it arrives at the Capitol, the U.S. Capitol architect and a team of workers will spend more than a week decorating the tree with 10,000 LED lights and the thousands of ornaments. The tree will be dropped into a hole 5-feet deep and secured with cement.

"Just being part of this whole thing ... I'm overwhelmed and proud to be doing this," Brusseau said.

Humor --

THESE ARE A HOOT!

2011-11-15T19:09:00.001-08:00

Amazing birds! I never knew there were so many varieties. Comments by yours truly.

Here’s lookin’ at ya kid.

Mom, pop, and the teenager

Coming in for a landing

I’m on lookout duty

I’d invite you in, but the place is a mess.

I’m the wise old owl, with the accent on ‘old’.

Aren’t I beautiful!

But he’s not as gorgeous as I am!

A home in the tree beats one in the ground

Yeah, I’m a little sleepy. I was up all day.

Ok, so we look a little funny! So what!

A FEW GOOD THOUGHTS…

                    Don't let your worries get the best of you;
                    remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

                    The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose,
                    but mosquitoes come close.

                    Some minds are like concrete…
                    thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

                    Forbidden fruits create many jams.

RUPERT

2011-11-15T15:18:00.001-08:00

I think I've posted before, some months ago. But for those who may not have seen him, here he is again.

This tiny deer was delivered by Caesarean section at a Wildlife hospital after a car killed his mother.
Little Rupert, who is so small he can fit in an adult's hand, was born after vets failed in their battle to save his mother.

At just 6" tall and weighing just over a pound, he is now in an incubator in the intensive care unit at Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Ocala, Florida. He has only recently opened his eyes.

Les Stocker, founder of Tiggywinkles, said, "Rupert's mother had very severe injuries. We brought him out and got him breathing, and then he went into an incubator on oxygen. He is now being fed by a tube"

Rupert in an incubator.

Rupert pulls a striking pose for the camera.

Asleep: Rupert takes 40 winks.

Fun --

Two old ladies have been friends for a good part of their lives. One day they are playing cards, and one old lady looks at the other and says, “Now don’t get mad at me. We’ve been friends for fifty years, but lately I don’t remember so good and now I can’t think of your name. I’m trying, but I just can’t remember it. Please don’t get mad. Just tell me what your name is.”

The other old lady glares at her. She sits there in silence, glaring at her friend, as long minutes pass.  Finally, she says: “How soon do you need to know?”